Yesterday was one of those not-so-good days.
By 2pm, I was done and I still had the rest of the day to go.
I know the problem: I tried to cram too many things into our day.
Sometimes I can get away with this, but not yesterday. Between trying to get the four of us out the door and to the track for Trackstars and trying to do school and visiting with family and getting to the pool and back home before naptime (which shouldn’t be stressful but it always is) and baths and meal planning and house cleaning for our dinner guests – it was all just too much. (Wasn’t I just talking about how refreshed I felt?!?) It all came to a screeching halt when I made Travis come home so that I could cry on his chest. He just let me cry and talk and cry some more. (This man….there are no words. He puts up with a lot.)
Last year I made quite a few changes that drastically reduced my stress level. I stripped away everything, bare bones. I said no. I said no to a lot of things that I really wanted to do. I said no to things I would have been GREAT at. I said no so that I could say YES to the people and the things that mattered most.
But yesterday, I noticed.
I’ve been saying “yes” and “maybe” a little more lately.
To projects that pull me away from my family.
To extracurriculars.
To just stuff.
And while I can multitask and add in a few things here and there, I know that there will always be that pull. That whisper to do more. To be pulled away from my calling of staying at home.
I’m here, writing this all out, because I want you to know that I don’t have it all together. I don’t. I cry and I complain and I make mistakes just like you. The bits and pieces that I share on the blog are just that: bits and pieces … of a much larger, much foggier picture.
So I feel you, mama.
I feel you, friend.
I see your broken and I see my broken and I know that we share something. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom or a 20 something with no kids, the demands of this life are overwhelming. The balancing act that it takes for me to make it through one day….well…it’s fatiguing. Sometimes I just want to race to get those three kids to bed so that I can have a moment. Don’t get me wrong. I live a very blessed life. I have so very little to complain about. I suppose it’s all relative. My “hard” might be your “easy” and vice versa. Even so, we all have our own hard.
What helps me get back to the place of feeling centered and focused (aside from that initial cry which is a must for me personally) is remembering that I have a choice. I can choose to praise rather than complain. To speak blessing rather than harsh words. I can choose JOY over stress. I’m even blessed enough with the choice to stay at home (while others are not even given that option). I have a choice.
And I love the freedom in that.
I’ll shoot for 100%. But I’ll miss the goal more than enough times. There will be those not-so-great days. Thankfully I’ve got a husband’s chest to cry on, children that nap when I need a break and a Father who pours out His mercy on me when I don’t deserve it.
QUESTION: How do you cope with those hard days? What is stressing you right now?
splendid…lindsay
I just love you!
I always try to remember that everything is as it should be, and to go along with it, not trying to control it (I often fail at this – ha!)
I love your honesty and be able to put it out there. We ALL have problems and hard times and I think while most of us are strong, there are days when we just want to hide under the covers and sob ourselves to sleep. And, there’s nothing wrong with that.
*Hugs* things will get better. Definitely make sure to give yourself some “you” time. It’s a must!
It’s so important to remember that everything is relative. We might have it easier than others, we might have it harder than others, but that doesn’t change that hard is hard and my mess is my mess! Having a supportive partner is SO helpful. You are doing a great job girlie. You’re inspiring!
Thank you for asking…
I’ve been crying too. My health has been crap recently.
I’m bleeding; go to the ER, super-plus tampon/diaper combo, still-pours-out-on-to-the-pavement-when-I-stand bleeding.
10 days of flood…bleeding.
4 birth control pills A DAY to stop the bleeding and it didn’t even slow it down…bleeding.
I’m an open person…sorry for the TMI.
I guess I’m asking for a prayer from a sister who might understand.
And as always, thanks for the reminder that we all struggle and we all cry.
Hang in there.
Totally have those days..you are so not alone…I had one last week. I felt like I was a bad mom, bad business owner, etc. all at once. It can be hard. Sometimes you just need a little downtime, but that can be the hardest thing to do when you feel that way!
Ah – I totally relate to this. It has been a hard year with family issues even throughout all the enjoyable, wonderful things that have happened. We have been BUSY too and I’ve been overloading myself. Times like that I need to step back and reevaluate what’s really important.
Love you Linds! Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Praying for you. Huge hugs!
I love this post! We all have hard. Lately I’ve been feeling super overwhelmed and like I’m doing too much. This weekend there’s a blog conference in my area that I was considering going to but I’m choosing to stay home and do nothing instead. I am so freaking excited it’s crazy.
Oh man. My husband and I were just talking about this yesterday. I’m stressed because Nana and Papa are currently driving our four-year-old back home from Illinois to NC. In a truck pulling a camper! Through the mountains! He’s been with grandparents for two weeks and I just can’t wait until he’s back here safe and sound! That stresses me out. But none of our parents have cancer. We’re not struggling with infertility. We have solid, dependable jobs. All things that our friends are struggling with…. Why is it that even though my stress seems so insignificant, it still STRESSES ME OUT!? Do not worry… Phil 4:6-7 on repeat. I know…
All I can say is we can all totally relate. Thanks for sharing this and cheers to good husbands and a gracious Father who is with us all the time! Love you!
I LOVE this post! Thanks for making me tear up first thing in the morning ;)
I’ve realized lately that I can’t be a multitasking mama. It just doesn’t work for me. It’s good for us to know our limits, and to have a solid support system.
What is stressing me out is caring for all 3 children of mine virtually alone. My husband has to work everyday or nights depending on his shift. 3 kids all to myself all day, everyday is exhausting. I love them more than life, but the relief once they are in bed is close to what I think heaven feels like. Hahaha but each morning when they wake up, and I get all those smiles and cuddles and I love yous…makes it worth it for most of the day..until I get to about 5pm countin down til bedtime again :)
Parenting is such a hard job! And you’re right- we all have our mess. Like you, a good cry does wonders for me… and my husband is great at balancing me out and putting things in perspective. Hope it’s a much better day today!
Crying, generally lots of crying. Mixed in with “nobody understaaaaaaandsssss” … but actually most people understand because so many of us are guilty of the way too much for one day / life cramming. I try to meditate more, meditating always helps – morning and night and then I remember how much I like the calm and all that busyness is not calm – which leads to more no and less scheduling.
UGH YES THIS. I have vacation coming up in two weeks and I’m looking forward to it with an odd level of desperation…one that tells me I’m probably overloaded with stuff now. So I’m hoping that detoxing for two weeks helps bring back some calm. NO NO NO is a YES YES YES in my book.
I focus on gratitude which changes everything.
When I need a stronger shift, I think “thank” on the inhale and “you” on the exhale.
Try it… see what you discover… if you like.
I feel you. I am there… I have said too many yeses. Thank you friend!
I love your honesty, Lindsay. And this is a great reminder that we constantly have to check and recheck the things we’re saying yes to. It’s so easy for it to all pile up before you realize it!
you know, you can call me and cry. I’d cry right back. Then we can pray over each other. xxoo always
Woah Woah, don’t you try cutting in on my job.
Thank you for being honest. I am a full-time nanny this summer. I was with the kids for 12 hours yesterday, and similar to you, by about 2 p.m., I was ready to go home and cry. I feel so bad getting impatient with other people’s kids, but it’s such a long day, and by that time, the kids are tired and arguing, and we’re all getting on each other’s nerves. I just have to remind myself that tomorrow will be better!