I’ve been going back and forth, pondering on whether or not I should share what’s been going on with me these past few weeks. Currently, I’m sitting on an airplane, headed to Salt Lake City, tears in my eyes, thinking about how very blessed I am. Flying does that for me. Makes me appreciate all of the small and big things that I have – flying makes you evaluate your life. Or at least it does for me. Hours of silence, spent hovering 30,000 feet above the ground – I can’t think of a better place to pray and weep and be grateful.
My life lately….
…has been hard. That’s putting it lightly.
Three full weeks of dawn to dusk nausea. Severe nausea. Vomiting. Fatigue. Headaches.
I’m barely holding on. And I’m a fighter.
But the source of this sickness is where the blessing comes in.
Again. So soon after what happened last November.
And I’m so thankful. And I’m so blessed. And I’m so in love already.
Yet, as I sit here typing this above rolling clouds, there lies a great uncertainty about the health of this little one.
The last few weeks = Blood tests, tears, ultrasounds.
All to tell me that my little bean doesn’t seem to be growing like it should.
This weekend I’m putting a smile on my face, soaking up this time with great friends (friends who have been praying for me since day one), and I plan to be as merry as possible.**
On Monday (as you’re reading this), at 10:00am, I will go back for another ultrasound. Perhaps the final one. To see if there’s been any change or growth.
I desperately need to see growth.
I’m sharing all of this, not because I want you to feel sorry for me or to get attention. But because I really want for my friends to know what I’m going through and I consider you all friends. I think more than that, I’m sharing because I’d love some prayer and I believe in the collective power of it. My life, this sweet baby’s life, they are in God’s hands. He gives and takes away. My heart will choose to say, “Lord, blessed be Your name!” I choose to praise.
Flying always does this to me.
Brings me to this place where, once again, time after time, I’m reminded how very beautiful and heart wrenching life can be.
And I can’t help but cry.
**Edited on the plane ride home. This weekend was JUST what I needed. A brief escape from my thoughts and a great time of fellowship with some very dear friends. I’m so thankful for the breath of fresh air.
I’m behind on blogs, but before I check to see if you’ve updated I want to let you know I am thinking of you. And sending comforting thoughts, no matter the outcome. Hugs!
I’m so glad you were able to get away for the weekend because you really really needed that.
sending lots of prayers your way friend.
Reading this on Monday night. I hope you feel the embrace of His love, and the care from all of us.
Sending tons of love and prayers your way!
Praying for you, Linsday. Stay strong and know the Lord is always with you.
sending lots of prayers your way beautiful!!!!
we love ya!!
can’t wait to hang out with you and hug you in a few weeks at Blend!!
Sending SO MANY PRAYERS AND LOVE <3 My heart is heavy for you, you are SUCH a beautiful person and it breaks my heart that you had to go through what you did when pregnant last time. I am thinking of you and sending positive prayers, love you Lindsay <3 stay strong and hopeful <3
((hug)) sending you prayers and strength. XOXO
I’ll be praying for you. I hope everything went well today. I can’t imagine how tough it’s been for you to deal with all this!
Aw, Lindsay! I will definitely be sending many prayers your way. You and Travis couldn’t be better suited to welcome a new little one into this world, and I’ll pray that God gives you that chance. PS. -Congrats on the pregnancy!
Sending so many prayers and positive thoughts your way <3
Sending lots of love you and your family Lindsay! xox
Hang in there Lindsay- God is with you and your little one – he will always bless you!!! Stay strong in your faith.
I am praying like mad for you and this little one. I love how you worship God even in the hardest of times. This song by Meredith Andrews always brings me to tears because it is SO true.
“And after all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me.”
Never have there been better words spoken. Love you lady!
Oh Linds, I’m so sorry. You are definitely in my prayers! Hugs to you!
Sending you lots of love and prayers.
Prayers lifted up! No matter the outcome, He IS and will continue to be glorified through you. Lots of hugs and prayers for His perfect will.
Sending you love and positive thoughts, my friend. <3
Sending you lots of love, prayers, and a big hug too! We are all here for you EVERY step of the way! XOXO
Since I read this post this morning, you’ve been in my thoughts and prayers. Prayers for your health, the baby’s health and for peace and reassurance. God’s Plan is never very clear to us in the beginning, but I hope you find the strength to trust it.
Best wishes, friend!
sending you LOTS of love, good, happy, healthy thoughts, and many prayers!! love you!! xoxo
Sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way, Lindsay. xoxo
Lots of prayers your way, Lindsay! <3
I am praying like a mad woman for you and your precious one. God is so much bigger than we can ever give Him credit for and I know in my heart that He has BIG plans for you and your family.
Praying for you and some incredible prayer warriors are lifting you up.
Every prayer for you and your sweet bean. I’ll even ask my three and a half year old to say some, her prayers are the sweetest :)
I am praying. xo
Praying for you Lindsay and little bean. Sending you hugs from afar too.
Sending so much love your way <3
so sorry…sending you prayers and understanding. I’ve been there four times over. It all ended on a good note, though, with two healthy babies (now 8 and 12) and your story will have the same ending. Hugs!
Sending prayers your way friend! Hang in there!
Praying praying praying………
I am thinking about you and your family, and this little one, now and will be as long as you need me to do so.
Congratulations. Nothing but blessings.
You got it. Prayers for you and your whole family. Glad you had a weekend to get away and forget just for a bit. Thinking of you!
I fully understand the need to share and not share all in one breathe. I’ll be thinking of you and sending loads of love.
Sending you love & hope this morning!
Lots of love and prayers your way this Monday!
My friend, I understand your pain, fear and wonder more than I care to remember, as this too has happened to me twice. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your littlest one. Many hugs Lindsay. xoxo
sending love and positive thoughts your way!!!
Started praying as soon as I read the title of this post & haven’t stopped! It’s 11, so your appt is probably over or wrapping up, but I am praying for health, His peace & that this ultrasound is the first of many to monitor the GROWTH of the sweet blessing inside!!
Awwwwe……I will be meeting your for the first time in a few short weeks. But from what I’ve been reading you are a very strong lady! Strength carries over to our little ones (beans and all) whether we realize it or not. Prayers for you and your family!
Oh, Lindsay. My heart aches for you. It’s almost 11 your time now, so you’ve probably already had your ultrasound…but I’m praying. Praying that whatever the outcome, you feel His presence in a mighty way. I know your amazing heart for Him, and I know His desire to bless that heart beyond our understanding. Loving you, praying for you!!
I so hope that this is the little one you have been waiting for. Good thoughts your way!
So, so many prayers your way.
Sending not only prayers but HOPE your way sweetheart. As I type this you probably know one way or another, but no matter what you are loved. Always.
Girl you know I’ve been praying for you… Haven’t stopped and won’t. I strangely read this at 10am and prayed for you through my entire run. Still praying. Looking forward to hearing how God answers. Cause he always does. Romans 8:28
Sending love and the wonderful power of prayer your way.
Sending prayers your way! Love you!
Prayed for you!
Sending MUCH love and hope your way. Thinking of you lots, and crossing my fingers for your growing family. Please keep your friends out here posted – we love and care about you!!! xo
Oh my sweet girl! I am lifting you up right now at 1030am. I know that He loves you and He is in control. Peace to you and Travis. I love you both so much and wish I could hug you right now.
You and the little bean have my prayer. <3
Done with much love and peace. ♡
Praying on this Monday for you!!!
Praying for you!!!!
Sending positive thought and love Lindsay. Stay strong.
SO MUCH LOVE coming your way. You will be in my prayers.
Thinking of you lots today…. I’ll continue to pray for you & your family.
You are in my thoughts! I’ll be praying for good news at the ultrasound today!
Momma, you are my prayers. Hoping you hear good news today. <3
Hope there’s good news coming your way! We’ll all be thinking about you today <3
Sending you love and prayers Lindsay!!!!! xoxoxox
Congratulations!!! I will be sending lots of prayers your way!!!
Thank you so much for sharing, Lindsay…praying and thinking of you right now! Our God is greater… than the fear, the uncertainty, the unknown… even in the midst of the pain and confusion. I really believe that and have seen his faithfulness in our lives again and again. I know you have too. :) Love you so much… So sorry to hear of your pain, friend.
You’re in my thoughts! Sending light, love and lots of hope that all is okay!
Sending all the love and light I can muster, friend. <3
Praying!! And believing in His bigness.
Thanks for sharing Lindsay! I will be praying many prayers over you and your family! There is always purpose in God’s plan!
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)
Much love and prayer coming your way my friend. xoxo
Sending you all the love and prayers <3
Sending love and positive messages your way today Lindsay! Hugs!
Congratulations on the baby and I am thinking of you and your family! I will be praying for you all!
SO many prayers Lindsay. And Love.
Sending prayers and positivity!
Sending lots of love, smiles, and positive thoughts this Monday!
Praying for you, Lindsay… the pregnancy is wonderful news, I hope this little one is a fighter!
thinking of you!
sending prayers and all sorts of good mojo your way xoxox
hands folded, heart lifted, sending up prayers, now!! LOVE YOU!
Praying Praying to the Lord Most High. How great to know He is wrapping you and your family in His arms!
So you being preggo makes Henry puke?! You have potent hormones, my friend. Lol!
Seriously. I am so happy for you guys. I will be thinking of you nonstop and sending all the bean-growing vibes I can muster. Love you!!!
I’ll be thinking of you Lindsay. If you ever need anyone to talk to, please email (or call!) me. I am here for you.
Sending prayers your way!
Many prayers for you and your family
Sending many prayers your way! Stay positive <3
just prayed for health and peace…HE has a big, beautiful plan for you and your family…
Praying right now!
Saying prayers all morning for you Lindsay. Whatever happens, remember that you are loved by God, Travis, your children, and SO MANY others. You are NOT alone!!!! :)
Oh Lindsay, I will definitely be praying for you and your little bean today, I’m sure this experience has been very trying for you and Travis and I hope you’re both able grow through the challenges He gives you (and that your little bean grows too!). And I 100% agree, flying is so reflective for me, especially heading out west when you can look down over all those beautiful mountains.
oh praying for you, for your family and for that little bean.
I’m sending lots of prayers your way, Lindsay. God bless you and your family!