Yesterday, I had a breakthrough!

For the first time in 9 days, I woke up knowing that it would be a different day.  And it wasn’t because I did anything different – it was because of prayer.

Your prayers, my husband’s constant prayers, my own pleads for healing.

Source: via Lindsay on Pinterest


Tuesday and Wednesday were by far the worst, darkest days I’d seen.  I just couldn’t come out of it – physically, I felt worse, but mentally, I was defeated.  On Wednesday night, I went to bed at 8:30 and cried myself to sleep.  I was DONE.  Mad at God and my body.  Even mad at this pregnancy.  This blessing of a pregnancy.

That’s what the Devil does.  He whispers lies into our ears.  Pulls us down into his world, where there is no light or hope or grace.  Only darkness.

You can know this about the Devil and yet, still fall for his lies.  I can guarantee you that God doesn’t bring those feelings or speak such things into our lives.  It is our adversary.  So why do we let ourselves be deceived?!

Because we are human.

And it is because of this very fact that we will go through trying times, hardships, persecutions and yes, even all-day sickness.  Because we live in this world.  God doesn’t bring these hardships about.  Re-read that statement.  God doesn’t do this.  Yes, He is powerful enough to intervene when He needs to.  But I don’t believe that he is “punishing” or “hurting” because He can.  He wants GOOD in our lives, not bad.

So why doesn’t he just heal me already?

He could.  He might.  He has already healed me mentally.  Now I’m just waiting on the physical.

But if you read the Bible, you’ll see that some of God’s most devoted warriors and saints were beaten, imprisoned, enslaved and even died.  He didn’t “save” His most devoted.  So we know that God’s healing isn’t based on anything we do or don’t do.  God provides healing when you need it the most.  But He wants you to be BETTER than before, stronger, more in love with Him.  And more reliant on Him.

why God doesn't, why doesn't God answer my prayer, Why doesn't God heal me


I can see a tie in with fitness here.  We strength train to tear muscle fiber.  We tear it and break it.  Then, our body comes in and repairs that tear, but not only that, it makes the muscle fiber even thicker and stronger than before so that it’s harder to tear next time.  We are left STRONGER.  More refined.

God’s healing, or lack there of, is quite similar.  He allows the tears and the breaks so that He can come in and FORTIFY.  Leaving us with stronger character and a testimony to boot.

I want that.  I want to be strong.

So I will carry on.  Rely on God’s grace and strength, because I have nothing left.

I will thank him and be joyful for the fortification.

Because this pain is just what I need.


QUESTION:  Have you been knocked down before?  How do you get back up?  Any encouraging verses to share?


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  1. Lindsay=
    Thank you for your honest post today!
    I had one of those very days yesterday- I am a mom of 3,( just wait!!) and I like you, I love working out, fitness and everything involved with it- at 47, I’m learning to be gentle w/myself and loved your word picture associated w/fitness! Yesterday I felt like you, beat up, and knocked down, but I almost “couldn’t ” be ok with it. I dropped of my children and had 1/2 hour before I had to get ready for bible study, laid down and fell asleep for 3 hours!! You can imagine that I was shocked, but it was just what I needed to refuel and refresh!!! Sometimes we do need to rest in HIS hands, and not have to try to do it all by ourselves. (talking to myself!)
    Hugs and congrats on your 3rd!!!!
    Praying for you and baby!

  2. I’ve been knocked down so many times lately and it’s so tiring and hard. Right now, my instinct is to crawl in bed and emerge sometime in April. Maybe May. I’m clawing my way back up too, putting aside the things that are unnecessary and just trying to focus on the things I have to do. I’m glad that you had this breakthrough too and hoping that you feel better soon!

  3. Getting knocked down SUCKS! But how we stand back up shows who we truly are! You are strong, beautiful, determined, and supported by an amazing group of people who are with you every step of the way. Keep trucking woman! I’m here for you! xoxo

  4. I have never connected the idea of exercise to the idea of our daily struggles renewing us, rebuilding us in the same way.

    Thank you for your honesty in your feelings. I am happy you are on the mend. I’ve been having some mental and emotional struggles recently–thankfully nothing so dark–but it is always good to be reminded that they are challenges I can and will overcome.

  5. Love this post! I have been knocked down more than I care to admit;-) But it has always brought me closer to God–and now when I get knocked down, it doesn’t seem quite as bad because I know i can use it as an opportunity to get even closer to God.

    During difficult times, I pray, surround myself with positive people, and simply repeat to myself ‘the joy of the Lord is my strength’ and “I am blessed” (and name a few things I am thankful for) whenever negative thoughts enter my mind.

  6. yes friend,yes! I was at the lowest of low in NZ> physically and all. Needed healing. I knew God wouldn’t let me go, to just pray, to ask for strength, to be kind to my temple of a body. You are so right, God carries us through these times, BUT we must let HIM! We must praise HIM during the hard times, and HE Will give us strength and perseverance to get through. To make you STRONGER!! And HE already is USING YOU as testimony.

    Praying praying praying.

  7. I was feeling really beat yesterday – mentally, emotionally and physically. When I got home from work, I sat down with a big bowl of soup and watched a little TV, debating what I was going to do next. I ended up deciding that despite not WANTING to, I was going to do a little yoga. I swear even after just 25 minutes, I was beginning to feel renewed. I guess it’s like my form of prayer if that makes sense.