I’m not gonna take a picture.

Creepers be creepin’.

But let me just let you in on a little known fact.

(And by little I mean super tiny and SO not cool.)

When you stop nursing your baby, your boobs deflate.  They turn into mush pie and sit on your chest like saggy sad pancakes.

(all male readers have left the building.  All prude readers – please pick your jaws up off the floor.)

I swear I wasn’t gonna talk about my boobs today.

Fridays are better for boob talk…Tuesdays just don’t have that boob vibe, you know.

(how many times is she gonna say “boob”?  I thought this girl was a Christian.) 

If you hadn’t heard, it’s World Breastfeeding Week.  Actually, August is National Breastfeeding MONTH.

World-Breastfeeding-Week

In honor of this magical lactation week, I thought I’d share my own breastfeeding story.

Breastfeeding, for me, was hard. 

To put it bluntly, in those first few months, I felt like a Mama Cow.  Constantly being suckled at, in all hours of the day (and night), for any given length of time. 

I felt used. 

I felt obligated.

(Postpartum depression didn’t help with these feelings.  A post for another day.)

I’d read all the books and bought the nursing pillow, bras, pads, a pump. I felt ready.  But when the time came, I wanted to run far far away and take my precious girls with me.

(that’s me being dramatic.  I’m allowed that.)

Anyway, the only thing that got me through those first couple of months with Henry was Travis.

PIC_0418

He believed that I could do this thing that should be so natural and so perfect. 

He believed that I was made for this. 

He believed in my fight. 

“Just one more day.”  “Give Henry just one more day of nursing.”

How could I not give him one more day?!?  I can do anything for a short period of time.  (Hello, tabatas and intervals!)

(We also became praying parents during this time.  Parenting will really bring out the worst and best in you.  We needed God.)

So I kept at it.  Not for myself and not really for Henry. 

I did it for my husband. 

And you know what – the Lord blessed that commitment.

Around month 3, something clicked. 

Nursing didn’t change.  Henry didn’t really change (although he did get a bit quicker with his sucking).

My perspective changed.

Day by day, nursing became just like any other challenge I had taken on – HARD BUT WORTH IT. After time, it became manageable, meaningful.  And my attitude TOWARDS nursing shifted from negative to EMPOWERED!

I’ll never forget the first time he reached his fat little hand and swatted at my face.  Gah.  Heart melt.  Or when he would smile up at me with that milk drunk look.

410

Henry and I nursed until he was 18 months old.

I nursed Clara until she was 20 months old. 

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Had you asked me in those early weeks whether or not I’d be an “extended nurser”, I would have stomped on your toe and squirted breastmilk in your face.

But now…

Now I can’t imagine it being any other way for my little ones and I. 

100_0941-1

I love breastfeeding.  And I’m not afraid to say it. 

(Hmm…I guess I really didn’t address the saggy boobs.  Another time.  But I did say boobs again.  Boobs.)

**I could easily make a blanket PC statement about doing what’s best for you and your family.  But I think that every woman should aim to breastfeed for the first year.  If it doesn’t work out, then FINE.  Don’t beat yourself up or feel like you’re less of a woman!  You’re not! 

It’s the TRYING that’s the most important. 

The trying. 

The struggle….it sharpens us and makes us better. 

More powerful.  Stronger. 

Simply try.**

QUESTION:  Were you able to nurse your children?  Nursing in public – discuss.

splendid…lindsay

(boobs)

  1. Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli says:

    This post touched my heart. As you know, I don’t have any children, but it really is amazing to hear a woman’s story about breastfeeding. I feel like I basically went through the long, difficult process with Heather (Heather Eats Almond Butter) and I’ll admit, before then, I never realized that it didn’t just COME when it was time. IF I ever decide to have children, I really want to breastfeed them because I believe that is what God intended, it’s natural, and there are SO many benefits to the baby…but I guess you never really know what will happen until you get there, huh? You are SO lucky to have such an amazing and patient husband to stand support you, but also give you that “push” when you need it. I only pray that I end up with a man like that someday. Love you!

  2. Heather @ What Does She Do All Day? says:

    They do deflate and it sucks! I was so upset after nursing my first for 15 months (and we really struggled in the beginning – so glad I didn’t give up!!!) when my boobs deflated, but I also lost an additional 10 lbs as I was running A LOT then. So I just considered them my sporty boobs. 32 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and my boobs are huge again. My old nursing bras are even too small right now. And it’s kind of making me miss the deflated boobs.

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  4. Kristen says:

    Great post! This topic usually gets me all annoyed/defensive but you say it so well. I had completely planned to breastfeed. Bought the pillows, bras, etc etc. Then my girlie just couldn’t. We tried and tried but it just didn’t work for her. (so many medical complications, so little comment space) So I pumped for a few months before switching to formula. I think it was the hardest defeat I ever had to face. I completely respect women who breastfeed in public. I think I could’ve/would’ve but it just wasn’t in the cards.

    • Kristen says:

      I think my worst experiences with the bottle were in settings where other women were breastfeeding or expected to. Nothing like a nasty comment to someone whose experiences you don’t know to really make yourself look good, right?

  5. Lindsay R says:

    It’s either two babies or the fact that I’m not in my 20’s anymore that ruined my boobs! ;)

    And nursing in public is a necessecity for me these days because I have a 3 y/o who needs to
    Get out and about, and a 3 month old that loves the boob! I’m not embarrassed, but I do try to be discreet.

  6. Amy says:

    great post!! we’re due in about 4 weeks and im looking forward to breastfeeding..but obviously i have no idea what it will be like or what my mental state will be so its easy to say ‘im gonna breastfeed for x amount of time’ but you really dont know. i think you brought up a good point that everyones different and has different feelings towards it and thats ok! im sure other woman that have gone through similar situations will appreciate your story!

  7. Jen @Healthy...with a side of ranch says:

    Breastfeeding- YES. So good for both mom and baby, and I’m not gonna lie, I think secretely think that people who don’t at least give it the ol’ college try are wimps. But I do wish that someone had told me how much it really flippin’ hurts at the beginning, when your new little human is trying to suck your entire nipple off. There is nothing sweet and cuddly about that feeling. I did it for about 8-9 months with each of my babies, and then they were more interested in real food than they were in my boobs, so they pretty much weaned themselves.

    In public- One time I was at a company dinner with my all of my husband’s co-workers and their wives. Doesn’t this chick sitting directly across from me at a pretty nice restaurant whip out her boob and start feeding her kid while people are still eating? Completely inappropriate. I get that if your kid has to eat, you need to feed. But time and place, people. I never breastfed in public. That’s why pumps were invented.

  8. Heather @ Fit Mama Real Food says:

    Loved reading this! I love nursing and that time I get with Hunter and I definitely feel lucky that nursing came pretty easily for hunter and I. And I totally nurse in public if I need to… Just cover up with one of his blankets… No fancy cover here! (although I bet it’d be nice!). I wish it wasn’t such a big deal to some. Babies gotta eat!

    oh and I told my husband that my boobs would turn into flat pancakes once I stopped nursing…. He didn’t seem to excited. Ehhh what are you gunna do :)

  9. janae@hungryrunnergirl.com says:

    You wrote this post just for me right? Seriously, I needed to read this. I am incredibly nervous about breastfeeding, I even have nightmares about it. I love how you tell it how it is and don’t sugarcoat it. I think a lot of hard things can only be conquered by changing our perspectives! You are incredible and really, thank you for this post. Don’t feel weird if I come to you with a million questions!

  10. Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says:

    Nobody tells you that your boobs deflate afterwards!! I breastfed both my kids – for about a year with my first and 6 months with my second. I was totally done with breastfeeding with my second child plus I was headed back to work and I didn’t want to pump again. I don’t have regrets about it necessarily. It’s just what worked for me and my family at that time.

    As for nursing in public, I definitely did it and didn’t have any inhibitions about it. I live in Brooklyn where pretty much every other person in a coffee shop is nursing.

  11. Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health says:

    Oh I love you. You already know that though ;). And the image of you potentially squirting someone in the face with your breast milk is hilarious haha. I apparently refused to breast feed when I was a baby. My mom said she tried so often and the lactation specialists said they’d never seen a kid like me who arched their back and got rigid in order to get away from the boob. Crazy huh??

  12. Tina @ Best Body Fitness says:

    I am with you on all counts. I HATED nursing at first, but stuck with it and then loved it. My body liked to dry up around 7.5 months (both times) but I made sure to try and did it as long as it worked for me and my kids. I understand some people can’t and/or doesn’t work for them but it is certainly worth the effort. And the sad pancake boobs at the end. ;)

  13. Lizzy says:

    Love love love this post- and your perspective. I totally agree that nursing totally SUCKED at first and it was so hard- having my husband as my coach supporting me helped me out so much- good thing he paid attention in our breastfeeding class. And now 3 months later, I am beyond so happy that I am breastfeeding and feel like I could continue to do it for a long long time.
    And TOTALLY agre that every woman should at LEAST TRY!

  14. Tamara says:

    Breastfeeding is great for babies and fantastic for moms! Oxytocin (the hormone released when baby’s suckle) helps mama feel good about what she’s doing and promotes bonding with babe (nature’s way of making sure we don’t just walk away from the helpless things when they drive us crazy with sleep deprivation!).

    I proudly nursed all three of my babies until they self-weaned at about 12-13 months.
    Was it worth the saggy boobs? (they’ll droop even more after the third, Lindsay…).
    ABSOLUTELY!

  15. lindsay says:

    i’m waiting for my lindsay’s life lesson book, all the stories that you have. Full of God’s strength, provision, and inspiration. THis is why you blog. TO share your journey. You are freakin amazing linz! love you and your boobs.
    tee hee

  16. graceling says:

    I love breastfeeding my children! I am on Month 32 (cumulative total) for my 3 bio kids, and plan to keep going as long as baby wants. I struggled, too, with my first child, and about week 8 I was ready to give up entirely, and then *click* the magic happened. #2 was much easier, and with baby #3, I’ve not even had a clogged duct! (knock wood) I wish we had more support for women who are trying to nurse because being raised in an environment where you don’t see breastfeeding puts American women at a disadvantage. I mean, how many of us learn to cook without watching our moms, grandmas, friends, etc cook? How do we learn to keep house except by watching others? How are we supposed to learn to nurse our babes if we don’t see that and view it as the biologically normal process that it is?

    Which is exactly why I nurse in public, uncovered. You never know who needs to see that nursing is normal and totally feasible. I consider myself pretty modest, but I don’t cover and I don’t think it’s immodest AND I’m tired of the belief that you need to cover to be a modest Christian woman! (/rant)

    I will be bummed when I lose my volumptious chest because I think the curvy top helps balance out my very curvy hips (thanks, pregnancy, for the widest hips ever!) I’m enjoying my hourglass for now:)

  17. Calee (@chimes) says:

    You know that I clicked because you said it was you and your boobs. Kidding. But seriously. You made me giggle.

    And I’ve known ever since I was little that I was going to breastfeed. Damned if my kids don’t want to do it (that scares me actually). After reading your post-baby post, I’m more determined than ever to do it. And I bet I’m going to have some of those same obligation feelings.

    Thanks for sharing, from a non-mom, but maybe-someday-mom.

    • Kelly @ No Sugar Sweet Life says:

      It was REALLY REALLY hard for me. But super important to me. So I spent multiple days a week at the lactation consultant’s office for the first 3 months of Kaela’s life. For the first month I have written down on paper(s) every OUNCE that K ate, when, from which side, how long she fed…I should’ve just made an excel spreadsheet to be easier. She was not good at it. But one day (at 3 months old) it clicked for us. I had to change positions to make it easier for her. Then I had to go back to work :( I pumped every day, 5 – 6x a day, for an additional 6 months. Once I started pumping K preferred the bottle, so even when I was home WITH her, I pumped and fed it to her out of a bottle. Lame-o, but it’s what worked. I found out later, when she was older that she had a slight neck issue (that she went to physical therapy for for a few months) that was causing her to have problems breastfeeding. It hurt for her to be in the traditional breastfeeding positions!! And I never knew that was the issue. Anyways… my pediatrician was so balanced and I loved her for it. She said, the main thing is to just.feed.your.child. If all breastmilk, great. If some of both (breastmilk & formula), great. If all formula, great. Just feed her. The other thing I did slightly differently than most moms is that I did NOT start her on rice cereal at an early age. I gave her breastmilk plus fruits/veggies at 6 months’ish. She never liked the rice cereal, so I never forced it. Her iron levels were great regardless. And now she’s my beautiful almost 2 year old Babycakes, who loves whole fresh foods, just like her momma!

      • Kelly @ No Sugar Sweet Life says:

        PS. Because K had so much trouble with breastfeeding, I hardly EVER did it in public. I had to have her in a weird, almost upright position to do it well, and it was just way too much to coordinate with others around. I preferred to be at home where I was able to bare it all :)

  18. Marie-Sophie says:

    I don’t comment here very often but I just HAD to write you a comment saying “your humour is just awesome!!” It really is! I (sneakily) read your blog at work and pretty much flipped out in front of my laptop. Yeah, now the secretary next door AND the weird neighbour who can peek into my office think I’m a crazy person! :-)

    In Germany, breastfeeding in public actually isn’t a big deal. People do it all the time. I mean, they will not pull out the boobs on a public train or something but people nurse in restaurants, in parks … most do it pretty discreetly but yeah, it’s really ok here.

    I don’t have any children yet but I definetely want to nurse (despite of the boob shrink factor :-) that has been mentioned countless times by my friends with kids …oh well)!

  19. Amber says:

    This post really speaks to me! You were very encouraging to me while I was planning to breastfeed. It has been the most amazing experience, I love that my son is so healthy and perfect because of my milk. As for weaning, I am so dreading it:(

    Also I too try to avoid nursing in public, simply because I don’t feel comfortable. But I have always told myself that if it had to be done I would do it, because my baby’s needs come first. However, I do agree that a little coverage never hurts:)

  20. Danica @ It's Progression says:

    Some people really freak out about women breastfeeding in public! I’m not a mom yet, so I know I only have a limited perspective here, but I think it’s a perfectly normal, natural, HEALTHY thing and women shouldn’t have to go hide out to feed their baby! I do, however, think that some sort of cover is an appropriate/respectful gesture.

  21. Nikki @ only25hoursinaday says:

    LOVE this post! I totally agree with you – every woman should at least TRY it. How do you know “it’s not for me” if you don’t try? Our bodies are meant to do this, and none of us would be here if not for it.

    BF’ing was hard for me the first few months, but I was so determined to make it work. I nursed my son for 2 years and 2 weeks, and it’s one of the things I’m most proud of in my life. My husband was so encouraging and to this day he says he fell in love with me all over again during those first attempts at nursing.

    This may sound silly, but to get me through it, I used to think of all the women throughout the world who had NO CHOICE but to BF (those in 3rd world countries, etc.). If they can do it, why couldn’t I?!

    My husband and I are starting to work on #2, and I’m really looking forward to doing it (BF!) once again – there’s nothing like seeing the sweet milk-drunk smiles from your baby :-)

  22. Lena @Fit on the Rocks says:

    I love the comment about how you felt like a cow. If and when I have kids, I know I want to breastfeed, but I think I’m going to feel like a food factory, too lol. I don’t think I have to worry about saggy pancakes afterward because there def isn’t much there now…le sigh.

  23. Andrea @ andi and her candy says:

    My babies are all big now (4, 7, 9), but I breasfed them all and LOVED it. The first month of that first baby was the.worst.month.evah, but I, much like you, did it with the support of my hubby. I remember he would stand over me and rub my head while my daughter latched on and electric fire burned through my chest. AHHHHH! I lasted 9 months and then we were done.

    The next two were like a cakewalk. I was in a groove. I BF my son for 18 months, and my youngest until she was almost 2 1/2!!!!

    I kinda like my smaller boobs. I always had a huge chest that made me look so much bigger than I really was, but now I feel like my boobs fit my body a bit more.

    But yes, they are flat. :)

  24. Heather says:

    you crack me up. I can def appreciate the “and I thought you were a christian” comment. LOL! I don’t have kids yet but when I do I *do* hope to breastfeed them and will be looking to all my mommy blogger friends for advice!

  25. Kelly says:

    I don’t have a problem with women nursing in public is they are comfortable with it. But I do think it should be done discreetly. Maybe I feel like this because I haven’t ever gone through this (yet) but the other day I was at Old Navy and this woman who was wearing a strapless dress just pulled the dress down, whipped out her boob and started feeding while walkign around Old Navy shopping. I just kinda thought that was inappropraite.

  26. Kate says:

    Love your honesty. It seems we hear mostly the it was easy stories and not so many of the it was a challenge for me. I had my moments bf and have nursed 4 babies and am currently weaning my youngest at 12 mo. Re: bf in public I just do it because I have to, covered up of course, but I think most of the time no one even notices what we are doing. And yes I too have the pancake problem and have considered nursing forever as well. :)

  27. Angela @ Happy Fit Mama says:

    Wish I could’ve bf longer but I wasn’t able to keep my 2 little birds satisfied. I felt really, really defeated and horrible that it didn’t work out (my goal was to bf for at least 1 yr even w/ twins). But in the end all that matters is that they are thriving and growing.

  28. Brittany (Healthy Slice of Life) says:

    I feel a little silly posting today about WEANING during world breastfeeding month, haha! My baby girl is almost 1 and I have been EBF’ing since she was born. I agree with you in that I have found it very empowering! It hurt like *$&@^ at first, but once we go the hang of it, it was pretty awesome. I’m aiming to be done around 13 months-ish, however, now that I hear I’m going to have flat pancakes on my chest, I might just breastfeed forever!

  29. Michelle @ Eat Move Balance says:

    I have so much respect for you talking about your challenges with breastfeeding, and being honest about how it went AND how you felt about it. Great post. As far as breastfeeding in public, I wish it were a non-issue! It’s part of life! Of all the things people need to be arguing about, this seems ridiculous.

  30. Heather @Heather's Dish says:

    Hut yesterday I was thinking to myself that I can’t wait til my boobs shrink when I’m done nursing Wes, but then I took one look at his snuggly little face while he was eating and totally tested up. Breastfeeding hasn’t been as hard for me as it is for some women but I absolutely love it. My goal is 1 year of nursing unless Wes wants to wean earlier but I know that when it ends I’m going to be incredibly sad!!!

    Nursing in public – I wish I was more comfortable doing it but more power to the women who are! Although use a nursing cover please :)

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