what happens when: saturday edition

What happens when your child poops in her diapers, sticks her hand down her diaper, then smears the poop all over her face, hair and sheets?

You wig out!  Yell “No! No! No! No! No!”.  THEN, you get your s*it together and you give her a bath. 

What happens when you can still fit into the running tights you wore in high school?

You wig out!  Then, you make your husband come outside in 27 degree weather and take your picture. 

THEN, you spend the remainder of the weekend “making it up” to him.

What happens when you’ve got 12 miles to run and the snot in your head is creating an intense sinus pressure, that makes it feel as though your head is going to explode and also makes you type THE longest run-on sentence in the history of run-on sentences?

First, you complain about having to run to your online friends.

Then, you go out and see what your body will allow.  And today, it cooperated and allowed me to run the full 12. 

I took it a bit slower and tried to take breaks if I needed, but overall, I think the run actually helped me feel better!  At least mentally – and that’s gotta count for something!

What happens when one of your best friends decides to move 9 hours away??

You wig out!  Then, you go over and help her clean.  THEN, you eat all of her food and hug her so tightly that her husband gives you the stink eye.  Miss you already, friend!

What happens when said friend is looking to unload her fridge before the move?

You quickly swoop in, elbowing all the other helpers, and declare that the vat of chocolate chip cookie dough, is in fact, probably rancid.  In the most dramatic voice that you have, you say you’ll dispose of it when you get home – wouldn’t want anyone to get sick.

What happens when you’re sick, you’ve run 12 miles, AND helped a friend move? 

You take a nap.  No explanation needed. 

What happens when you’re forced to wake up, because, you know, you’ve got responsibilities and two kids? 

You let them hang out in their cribs and bake the “rancid” cookies you scored.  Turns out…not so rancid.

What happens when you live a mile away from your parents, who can’t seem to get enough of those Chobani-commercial stars? 

You go out on a dinner date with your handsome photographer.  You laugh so much, food comes out of your nose. 

What happens when you’ve got a rich life, full of ups and downs, cuddles and poop, laughter and cookies? 

You blog about it.  Obviously.

QUESTION:  What happens when the weekends come around at YOUR house?

splendid…lindsay