on the weekends we….

January 26, 2015 in Blessings, Blog, Family, Friends, Kids, Love, weekend by lindsaymwright

On the weekends we….

…play with new robots.

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..attend ribbon cuttings.

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…make the most of our time with dad.

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…make cookies for bible study.

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…then let mama lick the bowl clean (it’s what mamas do best).

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…track our steps! (11,000 for Saturday, 10,000 for Sunday – wootwoot! This is the Garmin Vivofit Fitness Band .)

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…spend an hour sweating with some really fun people.

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…drink a leisurely cup of coffee over pancakes.

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…feed our fish, Mert.

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…eat raw fish (which just seems weird after the Mert picture…).

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…take long walks with friends who also happen to be siblings.

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…celebrate a friend’s birthday with some tag football.

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…and spend LOTS of time in pajamas.

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It’s just what we do.

QUESTION:  One awesome thing YOU did this weekend?

splendid…lindsay

flashback friday: the body i’m meant to have

December 19, 2014 in Blog, Blogging, Body, ED, Faith, Flashback Friday, Inspiration by lindsaymwright

(I wrote this post two years ago.  Timehop reminded me of it and I thought today would be a good time to share it again.  I’m not quite ready to blog yet.  My papaw is still hanging in there (hospice – acute leukemia) and I’m thankful (so thankful) for your prayers and kind words!)

Reader emails.

If I were vain, I’d call them “fan mail”.  (But luckily, I’m too pretty to be vain.)

Instead, I take them for what they are – people reaching out.

Anytime I see one in my inbox, my mind fills with worry about what I’ll say, whether the words will be anointed, even before I click open.  The major theme among the emails:

DISCONTENTMENT and A DESIRE TO CHANGE.

Although I feel uneasy about these emails, it’s pretty easy for me to respond.  Because I’ve been there.  Heck, at moments, I’m still there.  The only difference between now and 5 years ago is that I’ve learned how to overpower any negative, self-hate thoughts that come in my mind.  I simply say, “I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.”

I can’t refute that.  And neither can the voices. 018 This particular reader email that I’m about to share encompasses the very things I said I love writing about: GOD and BODY IMAGE.  I’m sure there are other (correct and helpful) ways that this topic could have been approached, but, after some prayer and reflection, I responded the best I knew how.  I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts on the matter in the comments!

Here we go.

SUBJECT:  Help and Encouragement needed!  Please.

Dear Lindsay, I know you probably hear this a lot, but I think you should hear it again- What an awesome blog! Truly a blessing to come across!! I have followed many blogs in the past, but I was especially drawn to yours because of your spirituality. I’ve shared many of your struggles in the past (restrictive eating/laxative abuse) and am happy to say that God pulled me out of all of that last year. The mental and emotional healing is still in progress. That’s where I have a question for you. I still struggle with weighing myself multiple times a day and counting calories excessively, only to be disappointed with any progress, or lack there of. I’ve finally come to a place where I want the body God intended me to have.  I want it. Regardless of what the scale says, or how many calories I eat a day, I want what God intended for me to have. And I don’t think I’m that far off! (In my mind, probably 10-12lbs). I DO believe that the buck doesn’t stop here- that God has an even better body in store for me. My question is this- how? How do you trust God with something that you have always been in control of? And not just that, but something that you have been FIERCELY in control of? I know that my efforts will only lead to frustration and not being successful (doing it in my own strength, that is). But trusting God, letting Him direct me in this area, is probably the hardest obstacle I’ve come to in my journey.  Your thoughts?

Whoa.

The first thing I wrote back was, “Before I answer your question, tell me what you mean by you’re 10-12 pounds from the body God wants you to have. Are you 10 pounds over that goal or under that goal?  Knowing that will help me answer you!”  The reader answered back that she was 10-12 pounds ABOVE that weight.  With that knowledge in mind (and again, some prayer time), I was able to respond.

Dear Reader, It’s so hard when a person who has struggled with disordered eating wants to lose weight. Because all of the tips and things that I could tell you to do, often backlash and our past comes back to haunt us.  I’d like to ask – Why do you think that the body that God wants you to have is 10 pounds lighter?? Honestly, God doesn’t really care about your body size, but rather, your heart.  That being said, I don’t think He necessarily wants you to be fat or overweight or uncomfortable.  He wants your HEART to be in a good place.  For you to love yourself. For you to treat your body with respect.  He made the body you’re in right at this moment.  10 pounds “overweight.”  And I don’t think He cares what the number is. I threw my scale in the garbage because it was controlling me.  I don’t count calories anymore because they were controlling me.  I’m working right now to cut back on an exercise addiction that is controlling me.  I know that, for me, I had to stop cold turkey and really GIVE IT OVER to God.  In the end, it’s your heart that matters.  What are you putting before Him?  These things become idols in our lives and what God so desperately wants is for HIM to be an idol.  I can guarantee you, if you give these things up and ask God to guide you, He will honor that sacrifice! The body, your weight, how you look in clothes – all trivial and NOT eternal.  You are definitely in my prayers – I hope what I said doesn’t come across as the wrong answer – it’s just my heart.

Lindsay

The message that I can’t stop repeating, the whole idea behind “Tearing Down Idols”, is this:

Put your time and effort into THE HEART.  Into others.  Into your marriage/family/community.  When those aspects of your life are fulfilled, the number on the scale won’t matter.  It just won’t.  It will pale in the light of the sense of peace and contentment that comes from focusing on the things that TRULY MATTER.  I promise. 

060 Does this mean you should stop working out and eating healthfully?  Absolutely not.  I KNOW that God made our bodies to MOVE.  I also know that He wants us to respect our bodies by nourishing them with foods that fuel, rather than harm.

It’s the obsession with all things BODY that I disagree with.   

Will the number on the scale matter when you die?  Will your perfect body give you eternal life?  No.

The body – no. 

The heart – YES!

QUESTION:  What are your thoughts on using the phrase, “The body God intended me to have?”

splendid…lindsay

why food and exercise shouldn’t touch

December 3, 2014 in Blog, Body, Diet, Food, Inspiration, Over-Exercise by lindsaymwright

“We’re eating turkey and dressing tomorrow. 

Push harder!!! 

WORK!!” 

Head down, legs pumping as fast as they could.  Those mountain climbers had nothing on this group.  Yet as soon as the words left my lips, I cringed at the sound of them.

“No, Lindsay.  NO!  You don’t believe it so don’t coach it.”

And it’s true.

I don’t let the corners of food and exercise touch.  Like those (odd) people who can’t let the juice from their black beans touch the corn on their plate, I don’t allow my mind to even go to that place where exercising X amount burns off X amount of food.  After talking to several recovering ED friends and just women in general, I realize that this is a blessing.

Food and Exercise.  Why DO we put these two things together so much??

We say things like: 

“I ate this donut so I’m going to run for 50 minutes to burn it off.”

or…

“I want to eat a donut later so I’m going to run for 50 minutes to make a calorie deficit.”

Read this:

If you want to lose weight, you need to watch your food intake. 

If you want to get fit and strong, you need to exercise. 

The borders of food and exercise should really only meet when we’re talking about pre and post-workout fueling.  That’s it.

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When we use exercise as a punishment, pushing as hard as we can, for the food we’ve either eaten or want to eat, we dishonor our bodies.

When we binge on food because we worked out really hard (or maybe twice in a day), we dishonor our bodies.

When we use the phrase “let me burn this off,” we get stuck in this perpetual pattern of feeling shameful about our food choices or approaching exercise with an attitude of punishment.  Not good.  Not healthy.

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I want to tell you right now – there is nothing more JOYFUL than moving your body.  It’s a pure blessing!  I think once you’ve dealt with an injury or sickness, you immediately recognize the privilege that is MOVEMENT.  Same goes with food – fueling your body in a way that promotes digestion, clear skin, energy – that’s a gift you can give yourself.  Eating vibrant, energy-giving foods is a way of honoring your body.

To move freely, for fun…for pleasure.  That’s the goal.

To eat healthfully.  That’s the goal.

Not “calories burned.”  

Not all the numbers.  

And most definitely not out of guilt or obligation.

(So long story short – don’t let “calories burned” rule your life, don’t let food and exercise touch and keep your black beans separate from your corn.)

QUESTION:  Are you stuck in this pattern of exercising to burn off what you ate?  Do you count calories?

splendid…lindsay

on being present and blogging

November 24, 2014 in Blog, Blogging, Goals, Inspiration, Intentional Living, Meh, Rambles by lindsaymwright

It’s currently Sunday night.

I just sat down on the couch.

I’ve got Travis’ cuddly blue robe on and I’m about to head into the kitchen for my nightly bowl of cereal (on a frosted mini-wheats streak right not that I don’t forsee ending anytime soon).  My hands smell of lavender – a reminder of the bath I just gave Porter.  We laughed and laughed as I dribbled water onto his belly and he tried to catch hold of it.  The most rudimentary of science projects – learning that you can’t really “catch” water.

Anyway, I’m sat down to crank out a quick “Weekend Scenes” post.  I’m shocked that there are a total of four pictures that I’ve taken over the weekend.

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I made banana bread.  It was a little dry.

Except deep down, I’m not surprised at all.  Four pictures seems like four too many right now.

I’ve felt this shift in myself for quite sometime now.

This internal struggle that I’ll try to get out of my head and out onto “paper” and even doing that feels like it’s taking too much time away from the things that matter most.

Point blank:  I kinda over blogging.

And taking pictures.

And sharing moments.  My moments.  OUR moments.

This feeling…it’s not something that’s new.  I remember a year into this gig (I’m in my fourth year now) thinking, “Blogging is ….well….selfish.”

Thinking that your life is so important that someone else would think it’s worth reading about is, inherently, selfish.

Taking selfies.  Self centered.

Taking pictures of your food.  A little ridiculous.

Saying, “Hold up!  Let me document this on Instagram,” and then completely missing the moment.  That’s selfish.

Even when you go in with the right motives (which are?!?), most of what goes into writing a post, taking the pictures for a post and then promoting that post is somewhat self serving.  You can KNOW this and still do it…but it won’t fulfill you.  Not nearly as much as actually being IN those moments that you’re scrambling to share.  Sometimes there’ll be this purely magical moment of my children playing together or my husband smiling in this certain way and the blogger-me wants to immediately break that special moment, grab my phone, snap a picture and then post it so everyone else can see how magical it was/is.  Except that doing so takes me and that person OUT of the magic, interrupting something that might never take place again.  And all so I can show other people.

Don’t get me wrong – my motive behind sharing is pure.  I just want for others to see.  Not to think that I’m magical….but that these moments are magical.  That my GOD is wonderful enough to bless me with these moments.  So in that sense, I don’t think the sharing is necessarily wrong or selfish.  In fact, there is bound to be some “sharing of the gospel”-good in social media.  Right?!

But still.

I find myself not blogging as much.  Not posting to Instagram or Facebook as much.  I find myself retreating to my house, this little corner, and not wanting to give any of the pieces away.  Our pieces.  Because doing so DOES take me out of the moment.  It takes me away from being present.

I’m not sure what the end result will be or what will come.  I just wanted to share a snippet of my heart and how I’m feeling these days.  Maybe you can relate.

Relate.

That word.  I love it so. 

And again I’m reminded why I blog.

Full circle.

QUESTION:  How can we still do this (social media, blogging) and also remain PRESENT??

splendid…lindsay

playing legos

October 8, 2014 in Blessings, Blog, Homeschooling, Intentional Living, Kids, Motherhood by lindsaymwright

I’d estimate that Henry spends an hour (or two) playing with Legos each and every day.  The way that I homeschool allows for free play at various times throughout the day (read:  we school for 20, play for 10) and Henry’s preferred “play” is Legos.  I’ve yet to break it to him that he’s actually learning SO much while he plays.

How Legos provide a great school experience:

  • Lego provides tools that develop lateral thinking in a fun environment.
  • Teaches kids to think in three dimensions.
  • Improves literacy as kids work with instructions.
  • Develops problem-solving, organization, and planning by construction.
  • Improves creativity.
  • Enhances communication and critical thinking.
  • Boosts kids motor development.

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As a mama who wants all of those things for her son, I’m SOLD.  And Henry is SOLD as a builder.  This kid, you guys.  He is amazing when it comes to building with Legos.  Yesterday (like most every day), he invited me into the front room to watch him build.  I usually brush him off because …you know, I’ve got a billion other more important things to do like play around on Instagram or watch New Girl.  But yesterday I chose a different path and plopped my pajama-clad bottom down with my son.

When you “play Legos” one person is the builder (Henry) while the other person is the helper (me).  The helper simply picks up the Legos that are needed next and holds them in their hand while the builder goes to work.  In being the helper, I was able to just sit there and watch my son’s brain work.

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I learned a few things.

Henry is patient.  He took his time and didn’t become flustered when the pieces didn’t line up correctly or something fell apart.  Twice I noticed he calmed himself down by taking a big breath and refocusing.

Henry has a great memory.  The set we worked on yesterday was one that he’s done probably 10-15 times.  He didn’t need to look at the instructions (but he did because he wanted to make 100% sure it turned out right – Type A like his mother).

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Henry is really fun to be around.  As he built and as I sat helping, he cracked a couple of jokes that made me genuinely laugh.  The kid is six years old and I enjoy hanging out with him.  I know you’re rolling your eyes and saying pat yourself on the back, you like your son….but have you ever met a six year old boy?!?  They aren’t always the best.  But he IS.014

I also learned that if I don’t take the time to be more of a “YES mom” to my kids I’ll be missing out on some really important stuff.  Overall I’m pretty good at being present these days (that’s taken quite sometime to learn if you’ve been following along for the past few years) but I can always use a reminder.

“Playing Legos” – it’s been added to my task list.

QUESTION:  Ever play with Legos??  What was your game of choice growing up?

splendid…lindsay

an easy reader

September 30, 2014 in Blessings, Blog, Faith, Family, Homeschooling, Intentional Living, Kids, Motherhood by lindsaymwright

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The process of teaching a child to read is …. interesting.  A struggle at times but with THE BEST rewards for both mama and child.  The foundations are laid loooong before the child ever reads his or her first word.  I’m already teaching Porter to read.  That may seem silly but studies show that children who are read to during early infancy have a better aptitude for learning letters, their sounds and then piecing those sounds together to form words.

Last year was our first homeschooling year.  I wanted to prove that I could do this – that I could teach my children.  That’s the sad part – there is a level of success that you need to show.  You must beat the critics.  Any homeschooling mom feels this pressure – any teacher feels this pressure.  So with the help of my MIL, I set out to teach Henry to read.  I gave us until Christmas (because I can’t half-ass anything).  Using Sing, Spell, Read & Write and as many workbooks as I could get my hands on, Henry and I set out on this adventure.  He won.  He learned how to read.  I helped but only in the most minute way.  I realize not all learning experiences have that satisfaction – we certainly had our own moments of frustration and angst.  But we stuck with it.  We read book after book after book.  Then we read some more books.  I got to watch his little brain work, sounding out each letter and then forming those sounds into actual words.  Oh my word.  It was (still is) a beautiful, GRATIFYING thing.

A year later and my son is reading chapter books with ease.  Yesterday I came up with the idea that our afternoon assignment would be to create an easy reader book.  From storyline to spelling to illustration, Henry did it allALL!

I just sat back, mesmerized by the grace that God has poured out on this endeavor.  He’s blessing this decision to teach.  To be home during these precious years.  He’s blessing this time.  All I can do is humble myself and lay down all my notions of perfection and the idea that I must prove myself because that’s so ridiculous.  All I can do is open up my arms and ask for more.  Because I have nothing to give.  Read that again: I have nothing to give.  I need more.  Patience, drive, grace, love, desire. 

More God.  MORE.

And He just keeps pouring….

splendid…lindsay