Diet - Lindsay's List

postpartum weight loss

April 21, 2014 in Blog, Body, Diet, ED, Pregnancy by lindsaymwright

I woke up this morning to a completely flat stomach!!
















Just joking.

You really hated me there for a second, huh.

someecards.com - All your Instagrams of food may explain why you're skinnier in every Throwback Thursday picture.

Which brings me to a topic that I need your input about.

POSTPARTUM WEIGHT LOSS.

What are you thoughts about posting a journey online about this?  I’m kinda mixed about it.  On the one hand, I want to provide my readers the inside scoop about various facets of my life.  And let’s be real – everybody is interested in a postpartum weight loss journey (InTouch taught me that.  Among many other important things…).  But then…I think that some people might be discouraged if their journey doesn’t look like mine.  OR I could become discouraged if my body doesn’t bounce back how I’d like.  Would sharing place more “pressure to perform?”

someecards.com - I love pretending that I don't care about my weight

I wanted to see what YOU guys want to know about in regards to this topic.  I’ll tell you this much – I WON’T BE WEIGHING MYSELF.  Aside from leaving the scale out of it, I’d be willing to measure myself, post my current workouts (which won’t start for another few weeks), and just talk in general terms about struggles and successes.

Thoughts??

splendid…lindsay

**Working on the birth story – some teeny, amazingly cute guy is taking up most of my time…guest post tomorrow!**

neda week – how i overcame my eating disorder

February 28, 2014 in Blog, Body, Causes, Diet, ED, Faith by lindsaymwright

Because this is National Eating Disorder Awareness (NEDA) week and because I have many new readers who may or may not know about my past, I thought I’d share a post I wrote nearly two years ago.  Since the post ran, I’ve changed SO very much.  ….But I still have a ways to go. 

My hope is that someone out there reading today, someone who’s struggling with negative body image, will WAKE up and see that living with an eating disorder is not living at all.  And I want to open my door (my email) to anyone who needs to talk!

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Dear Eating Disorder,

I hate you.

So, so much.

I hate what you’ve done to my mind.

How I can’t seem to ever escape your pull, your toxic lure.

I hate what you’ve done to my body.

Making it weaker than it needs to be.

I hate how you always seem to beat down my spirit.

Introducing self-doubt, depression and negativity.

I hate that I’ve wasted SO many years listening to your lies.

I hate how you’ve damaged good relationships with friends and family.

I hate that sometimes you have control. And I’m left helpless.

No more.

No effing more!

Eating Disorder, I’m breaking up with you.

Breaking free of the putrid stench you leave on my life.

Breaking free from the darkness.

I choose to run into the light. The marvelous light.

ED, you suck.

Plain and simple.

And I’m tired of courting you.

With all my heart,

Lindsay

Yesterday, for the first time in quite a while (6-8 months?), I felt the desire to purge. Like I left my kids to watch their movie, walked into the bathroom and stood over the toilet.

I didn’t allow myself the relief that purging would have brought.

I chose to stop. To walk away.

Something that took all my willpower.

I’ve never closeted my history with an ED, but I’m not always as open about it as you might like.

The truth is – I still struggle with it.

The negative thoughts, the contemplation of restriction or binge/purging.

It’s there. My ED is still there.

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I would never let myself eat this entire burger. Maybe 1/3.

It pains me to say that. But it’s the truth.

And by speaking it and admitting it, I can bring light to it.

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I had a reader email me recently, sharing her own struggles with bulimia. (This is SO common, guys! More than I ever thought possible. I get emails ALL THE TIME!)

I told her about my struggles and gave her some coping advice.

You see, the difference between yesterday and say, 8 years ago, is that I now know how to take control of my thoughts. How to capture them and mold them into something different – and THAT is where recovery starts.

Here is what has worked FOR ME over the past 8 years in dealing with disordered eating and poor body image.

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HOW TO OVERCOME AN EATING DISORDER/DISORDERED EATING:

1. TALK ABOUT IT!

Tell someone. A friend. A family member. A counselor. Your husband.

The thing is - they probably know already. And if they don’t, they won’t be as judgmental as you think. I promise.

Reach out! People want to help. That’s the way we’re designed.

2. SPEAK YOUR ACTIONS!

This one has helped me tremendously. As you’re thinking these negative thoughts or going through the actions of binging and purging, SPEAK YOUR ACTIONS. What I mean is, say out loud, “I’m going to the bathroom now to make myself throw up.” “I’m sticking my finger down my throat.” “I’m fake eating so that I can control my calories.”

When you assign WORDS to your ACTIONS, it gives your mind a chance to catch up with your body. Then you take back control over the situation.

3. TAKE OWNERSHIP!

An ED is so very active. Never passive. You actively choose to starve yourself. You actively choose to make yourself throw up.

YOU do this. Nobody else. No one’s forcing you to act this way. Take ownership.

Then relinquish that ownership and stop doing what you’re doing.

4. KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS!

Become aware of what triggers your ED. It might be a person, reading food blogs or fitness magazines, or certain foods. For instance, what set me off yesterday was a simple spoonful of Cookies and Cream ice cream. (Ice cream was something I’d binge on in the past (then purge), so I know that I need to be careful around it.) I also avoid a couple of healthy living blogs because they make me feel bad about myself. Over time, I’ve found out what sets me off.

KNOW WHAT TRIGGERS THOSE NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE THOUGHTS.

Then avoid them.

5. HAND IT OVER!

One of my favorite scriptures sums this point up….

Romans 12: 1-21 – “…present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do NOT be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

- “Present your bodies” – a strong and healthy body, not a sickly body that you’ve abused.

- “Do not be conformed to this world” – meaning don’t succumb to peer pressure to look a certain way or eat certain foods. This “world” places far too great a value on the superficial.

- “What is GOOD and ACCEPTABLE and PERFECT” – An eating disorder is absolutely NONE of these things.

Hand over this burden to God. To prayer. To listening to the Holy Spirit (what some might call your conscience).

Surrender it.

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These are just a scant few of the ways to approach recovery – and every person is different. The main point I want to hit home….

Recovery is a journey, not a destination.

A journey that makes us WAY stronger. Able to change our minds. Able to encourage others.

A journey that simply must be taken.

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Dear Eating Disorder,

This post felt good to write.

No, GREAT!

This post was a slap in your face.

Until next time…said no one ever.

I’m over you.

I’m….

splendid…

lindsay

QUESTION: Poor body image – thoughts/solutions/something I didn’t cover? If you were to write a “breakup” letter to something, what would it be?

splendid…lindsay

**For more posts related to eating disorders, simply use the “Search My Blog” option in the left sidebar.**

picture paragraph – “my weight gain”

January 15, 2014 in Blog, Blogging, Body, Diet, ED, Picture Paragraph, Pregnancy by lindsaymwright

“Picture Paragraph.”

You take a picture and write a paragraph (or two) telling us a little more about it. What was going on that day, your thoughts behind the picture, why you bought that (hideous) shirt you’re wearing, etc. It gives the author a chance to ramble and the reader a chance to get to love the rambler a little bit more. They say a picture is worth a thousand words – I’ll try a paragraph. Here goes.

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Like any good sister, I recently begged Katy if we could borrow her Wii – duration undetermined.  And like any good sister, she said yes, but that she’d want it back.  It’s been FOUR years since I stepped foot on that Wii Fit board.  FOUR years that have seen four pregnancies (two lost) and more than a few weight fluctuations.  I was a little reluctant to get on the board because I haven’t known my weight in a very long time.  But I got on.  And the Wii board welcomed me back.  And then told me I’d gained 19.2 pounds since my last check-in.

Weight gain used to freak me out.  Defining my mood, how the day would go, whether I felt sexy, what (and WHETHER) I could eat that day.  But yesterday, I just laughed and moved on with my play time (AND beat ALL of my previous records..and most of Travis’.).

To simply brush off a gain?!?!

Yes, I’m pregnant and I know that I’m supposed to be heavier.  Even so, I feel so different these past few years in regards to my body and numbers.

Like I’ve finally grown up.

19.2 pounds-and-four years grown up.

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More Picture Paragraphs

Theater Girl

The Container

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QUESTION:  How do YOU deal with weight gain??

splendid…lindsay

the good life: then and now

December 21, 2013 in Blog, Body, Causes, Diet by lindsaymwright

I was recently asked to share an infographic here on the blog, something I rarely do, but I thought this one had pertinent information regarding health and fitness in the 1970s versus now.  There were some shocking differences between how we view health, fitness and body image – some good, some bad.  I wonder how the 2010’s will differ when compared to say, 30 years from now.

Take a look and see if any surprise you!  Oh, and happy weekend!!!  Only 4 more sleeps till Christmas!!!

splendid…lindsay

my holiday eating plan

November 28, 2013 in Blog, Diet, ED, Family, Food, Goals, Inspiration, Kids by lindsaymwright

I posted this journal entry LAST Thanksgiving.  The message remains relevant, except I’ve taken it one step further this year as my children are even more interested in the actions/mindset of Travis and I as parents.  I’m constantly thinking, “How will MY behavior effect my children and their own body image?”  I may never know the answer, but I want to do everything I can to set an example of BALANCE.

Anyway, I KNOW that someone out there needs to hear the message, so enjoy! 

And Happy Thanksgiving!!!

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“Fill up your plate with half vegetables, a quarter lean protein and a quarter of the good stuff.”

“Make sure you snack on healthy foods during the day so you don’t overeat during the main event.”

“Stand more than an arm’s length away from munchies, like a bowl of nuts or chips, while you chat so you’re not tempted to raise your hand to your mouth every few seconds.”

“Wear the tightest clothes you have. You’ll notice you’re overeating and be able to stop yourself.”

“Burn off all the calories you’ll eat during dinner by exercising like crazy early in the week/day.”

“Know your calories!!! Choose pumpkin pie over pecan. Even better, skip dessert altogether. Dressing is THE DEVIL! Mashed potatoes- a demonic indulgence. Choose low glycemic foods over high glycemic foods.”

“Choose a BLUE-colored plate or better yet, bring your own blue plate to dinner. The plate that helps you to eat the least amount is one that is blue, that color has the least appealing blend with food.”

“Bring your own healthy salad so that you’ll have something to eat. These people don’t understand you and this healthy living path you’ve chosen.”

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You’ve heard these before. I know you have because they’re everywhere we look – magazines, Dr. Oz, Oprah, even healthy living blogs. Tips on staying healthy during holiday meals.

We thrive off these “RULES”. We NEED them or we’ll go rampant like rabid raccoons all over that Thanksgiving/Christmas meal, standing over the table, elbows akimbo, scarfing down carbs and spoonfuls of gravy. In fact, who needs a spoon!?!? We raccoons will just drink it straight from the gravy boat.

Oh the sheer horror of losing control!! It’s more than most can bear! And that’s why we form PLANS. A strategy to reign us in. Because heaven forbid we actually indulge once and then carry on with our healthy living journey.

To hell with that.

I’ve lived 30 years with a plan and honestly, I’m so tired. Maybe it’s just that I now have my APPETITE back, but it seems illogical to me to set special rules for eating. I’m hungry. And the food at holiday meals is some of the best of the year. Why wouldn’t you want to partake in it?!?

Because most of us don’t trust ourselves.  Or our bodies.

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From 1998-2004 or so, I would “fake eat” at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’d follow all of those rules I listed above and make up some of my own. Pushing food around on my plate to make it seem like I ate. Spitting food out into napkins, hoping no one would notice. And if I’m being perfectly honest, a couple of those dark years, I’m sure I went upstairs and purged that meal. The meal my mama worked so hard to cook.

?!!!?!?!?

Dude. What the heck!

It’s unacceptable behavior. And it directly opposes the very sentiment behind Thanksgiving. We’re supposed to be THANKFUL for this food that we’ve been blessed with. Thankful for the hands that prepared the meal. Thankful that we can break bread together.

When food rules and game plans are introduced, a little bit of that thankfulness is pushed to the back and a feeling of control and what I would describe as obsession takes first place.

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My Holiday Eating Strategy:

I don’t have one.

Well I guess I kinda do. I’m going to fill up my plate with a little bit of every thing that looks good to me. I’m going to eat my food and talk to my family and enjoy this time that I’m blessed with. And if I want seconds, I’ll go back for them. Not partaking in my sissy’s homemade pumpkin pie would be a tragedy. After the meal is over, I’ll continue on with my healthy life.

No starvation. No binge eating. Just normal eating of some pretty amazing food.

Yep. I like this plan. It’s one I want my children to mimic in the future.

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Will you join me??

QUESTION: I know I missed some of those “food rules.” What are some of the other ones? What’s your favorite dish at Thanksgiving dinner?

splendid…lindsay

wiaw – current pregnancy cravings

October 16, 2013 in Baby, Blog, Diet, ED, Food, WIAW by lindsaymwright

Hello Wednesday!

As I told you guys yesterday, food is starting to become appealing again!  I still have some aversions (anything greasy or too sweet) but for the most part, I’m turning a corner of wanting all.the.foods.  I love this part of pregnancy – the EATING.  I know two things about myself and food though:

  • 1)  Due to my eating disordered past, I won’t be a woman who “lets herself go” during pregnancy.  I just know too much about nutrition and can easily take this knowledge too far and become obsessive.
  • 2) Luckily, I’ve grown up a bit.  I have no food rules or food guilt in pregnancy.  If something sounds good, I’ll eat it (HUGE difference from the Lindsay of 10 years ago).  ….But always in moderation.

I feel like my approach to food (and fitness) has only gotten better over the years.  Some might look at what I eat and think it’s unhealthy or “bad.”  But I know better.  With a more relaxed approach, I’m WAY healthier than I was in years past.  Sometimes “unhealthy” is actually very healthy.

To that end, here’s what I ate yesterday (which was everything I wanted to put into my mouth – no rules – just being thankful for food):

Breakfast

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Protein pancake (Plant Fusion Chocolate P.P + Egg Whites, topped with maple syrup and PB2)

Post Workout

Banana – unpictured and scarfed down in the gym parking lot.

Pre-Lunch Snack

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Bagel Thin with cream cheese (side note: I HAD to have a bagel and made Travis leave work, drive to the grocery store and get me one.  Keeper.)

Lunch

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Janetha’s Quick & Clean Chicken Noodle Soup (MAKE THIS!!  I added mushrooms but kept everything else the same.)

Afternoon Snack

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Golden Delicious apple + sea salt

Dinner

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Chicken Tender Salad (I only ate a bit of this – by the end of the day, I’m kinda DONE with food.)

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QUESTION:  What was the best thing you ate yesterday??

splendid…lindsay

wiaw – linking morning sickness and hypotension

October 2, 2013 in Baby, Blog, Diet, Food, WIAW by lindsaymwright

Pregnancy is simply fascinating to me!!  I think what I love the most is hearing and reading about each woman’s different pregnancy story, knowing that in the end, we end up with a baby but the 9-month journey to get there is different for most everyone.  There are even discrepancies between THIS pregnancy and Henry’s pregnancy, Clara’s pregnancy.  The way I feel, my thoughts, the way my belly grows and, as I’ll talk about today, THE FOOD.

I have so many freaking food aversions right now, it’s ridiculous!  What sounds good one day will make me gag the next.  I’ve noticed a trend though.

Like most pregnant women, I CRAVE salty foods.  Salt is like my new best friend.  There’s actually scientific evidence backing me up on this one.  You see, the RDA recommends limiting sodium to less than 2,300 mg a day.  That’s for the average person.  A pregnant woman metabolizes sodium much differently and may need anywhere from 2,000 to 8,000 (!!) mg per day (source).  No wonder we crave salt!

Linking Morning Sickness and Low Blood Pressure

Try to stay with me here.  I just told you that a pregnant woman needs more salt than the average person.  Did you also know that a pregnant woman’s blood pressure is significantly lowered due to the hormone relaxin?  I ALREADY had extremely low blood pressure leading into this pregnancy, so every time I go to the doctor for prenatal appointments, the nurses marvel at my numbers.  It’s called “hyPOtension” – the last time I went in (which was last Monday), my blood pressure was 90/59 mmHg.

Want to know the symptoms of low blood pressure?

Signs and symptoms of hypotension may include dizziness, fainting, cold and sweaty skin, fatigue (tiredness), blurred vision, or nausea (feeling sick to your stomach). (source)

This sounds eerily like MORNING SICKNESS!!  (Travis actually connected the two – he’s way smarter than me.)

Now I know that you don’t have to be hypotensive to experience morning sickness, but I really think that my low b.p. combined with morning sickness has led to me feel pretty darn crappy over the last 6 weeks.  Interesting fact:  My nausea dissipates when I eat salt.  Sugary foods do nothing to take the edge off.  So that’s what I eat: SALT!!!

Here’s what yesterday looked like….

Before getting out of bed (sorry for the dark iPhone picture):  Mini saltine crackers

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Breakfast:  Oatmeal + Egg Whites + Butter

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Post Workout:  Chocolate Thinny Mint Shake (Chocolate whey p.p., chocolate soy milk, peppermint extract, ice)

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Pre-Lunch Snack:  Good Beans (this x3)

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Gatorade!  (all day long)

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Lunch:  2 eggs + american cheese + morningstar veggie links + raspberries

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Afternoon Snack #1:  Some “Dump Cake” – google the recipe – it’s pretty much pure butter (salt)

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Afternoon Snack #2:  Granny smith apple + The Laughing Cow mini babybel mozzerella (sent to me by TLC – SO good..and salty!)

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Dinner:  1/2 rack ribs + french fries + stewed okra & tomatoes

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mmmmm….ribs!

Themes:

  • Salt
  • Minimal vegetables
  • Minimal fruit
  • Minimal water
  • Notice that no snack was eaten pre-bed (which I normally would have)…this is because I’ve morphed into my mother and bedtime was 8pm.

Not a diet I’d recommend to ANYONE, but for right now, we’re in survival mode over here and it’s getting the job done.  Smile

QUESTION:  Do you SALT your food?  <-normally NEVER!  Do you think you’re over or under the RDA guidelines for sodium intake?  <-right now – YES!

splendid…lindsay

i’d rather be a little fluffy, thanks.

August 5, 2013 in Blog, Body, Diet, ED, Food, Goals, Inspiration, Rambles by lindsaymwright

I’d planned to post today about some of my “Season of No” revelations/changes, but this topic has been on my mind for the past little bit (especially after writing that birthday letter to myself) and I need to get it out.  No pics, just words.

I was looking down at myself in the shower today.  You know…how we all do.  After a day full of birthday treats and laying around, my belly was what I would call, “a little fluffy.”  Bloated and fluffy.  Thoughts quickly entered my head.  You know…how they always do.

“You should probably detox tomorrow.  No sugar, no flour, 200 ounces of water.”  (tomorrow being the operative word, because as we all know, you need a full day of prepared gorging before starving yourself into a wisp.)

“You’ve let yourself go, Lindsay.”

“Travis knows.  He just would never tell you.”

The first truth is:  Over the past year, I HAVE had a more relaxed approach to food and exercise.  I’m sure I HAVE gained weight.  My clothes fit perfectly fine – no snugness there.  I’m WAY stronger – I can outsquat my former self by about nearly 70 pounds!!  I’m killing it at the gym!  But overall I’m not as “wisp-ish” as I have been in the past.

The second truth is:  I really don’t care.

I’d rather be a little fluffy if it means that I get to spend more time with my kids than time in the gym.

I’d rather be a little fluffy if it means that I get to eat chocolate every day.  It’s just too damn good.

I’d rather be a little fluffy if it means that my thoughts aren’t consumed with the scale or counting every.single.calorie that passes through my lips.  What a waste.

I’d rather be a little fluffy if it means FINALLY being comfortable in my skin.

You know what?  I know that I could easily lose 5 pounds.  (10 if I lost muscle.)  I have the discipline (perhaps a little too much).  Losing weight comes easily for me (and I’m not trying to boast about that – please hear my heart.)  What’s hard for me now, now that I’ve climbed out of that obsessive black hole, is being ok with a life that isn’t consumed by vanity. My struggle comes from shifting my discipline to the heart and not the body.  I wrote a letter to this body that I love, but what I failed to tell it was that it’s merely a vessel.  My beauty, my worth, my future – those things are held inside.  In a culture that praises obsessions and the outward, the last thing I want to be consumed with is how I look.  Spending even a SECOND fretting over how big my butt is – that’s a total waste of my time.

Because looks fade.

Because there is such a thing as being TOO healthy.

Because Clara and Henry deserve a REAL role model.  Not a supermodel.

Because my heart isn’t in it.  (Thank you, Father!)

Because I’d rather eat chocolate than not.

And because fluffy looks good on me.  Because I’m smiling.

splendid…lindsay

wiaw – my 5,000 calorie day

June 26, 2013 in All Posts, Blog, Body, Breakfast, Dessert, Diet, Dinner, ED, Food, Goals, Inspiration, Lists, Lunch, Popular, Snack, WIAW by travisvwright

Hey everyone it’s Travis again.  Yes, I realize we are supposed to not be counting calories, but here’s my WIAW style recap of my 5,000 Calorie Day.  Since you are curious I posted my weight gain at the bottom.  But I know your first question is going to be why.  The short answer is I’ve been eating a caloric deficit recently, and need to have a metabolism boosting day.

Some people live in a caloric deficit.  I’d guess there are quiet a few of you that can’t remember that last time you weren’t trying to burn more calories than you ate.  Regardless of the popularity of Set Point Theory currently, it’s pretty widely accepted that a constant caloric deficit will lead to reduced metabolism.  Which means the longer you “diet” (verb) the more difficult it is, because you need to be consuming less and less as your body adjusts your new diet (noun).  THEN when you are done “cutting”, your metabolism is so broken down and weak, you can’t eat half what most people eat without gaining weight.  Sound familiar?

There’s a solution!

You need to be actively combating this.  What’s the point of getting to your ideal weight if the rest of your life you can only eat salad (with the sad fork-dipped-into-the-dressing-first method)?  In fact I’ve actually got the exact opposite thinking.  Back when I wasn’t cutting, I’d eat my 1300 calorie nightly ice cream bowl…well, nightly.  I’d like to get to the point where I can eat 3,000 calories a day and maintain my weight.  Then when you want to cut you drop to the extremely deprived level of 2,500 calories per day.

So without further ado, here’s my WIAW – The 5,000 Calorie Metabolism Boosting Day!

5000 Calorie Day Breakfast

Breakfast – 2 eggs over easy, 2 biscuits and gravy, 2 sausage patties ~ 1,230 Calories (Not counting the bites of Lindsay’s pancake I tried)

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5000 Calories

Katie’s Kraut Burgers (Lindsay took umbrage with myfitnesspal’s estimate of 272 per burger so I’m only counting 2 of them) ~ 544 Calories

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5000 Calorie Day Second Breakfast

Second Lunch – Van’s Flax Waffles with peanut butter and The Laughing Cow cream cheese (a Blend sponsor)~ 540 Calories

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5000 Calories

Quick Snack – Newton’s Fruit Thins with peanut butter (I had 6 plus some Justin’s Vanilla Almond Butter – another Blend sponsor!) ~ 310 Calories

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5000 Calorie Day Eggs

Dinner – 4 eggs with grilled chicken and cheese ~ 710 Calories

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5000 Calories

More Dinner – Chocolate Chip Clif Bar ~ 230 Calories

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Cinnamon Roll

Post Dinner Snack – Cinnamon Roll ~ 200

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5000 Calorie Day

Ice Cream ~ 1,250

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So:

  • 1,230 – Breakfast
  • 544 – Second Breakfast
  • 540 – Waffle Lunch
  • 310 – Lunch Dessert Newton Fruit Thins
  • 710 – Dinner Eggs
  • 230 – Clif Bar
  • 200 – Cinnamon Roll
  • +     1,250 – Ice Cream
  • 5,014 – Total for the day

Weight Gain:

Now the part for which you’ve been waiting with breath that is bated…(First, obviously since it’s Wednesday I didn’t eat this on Wednesday.  I actually ate this on Saturday.)  On Sunday morning, I weighed 4 pounds more than on Saturday morning.  I’m actually back under my Saturday number as of this morning.

Question:  What would YOU eat on your 5,000 calorie day?