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by lindsaymwright

neda week – how i overcame my eating disorder

February 28, 2014 in Blog, Body, Causes, Diet, ED, Faith by lindsaymwright

Because this is National Eating Disorder Awareness (NEDA) week and because I have many new readers who may or may not know about my past, I thought I’d share a post I wrote nearly two years ago.  Since the post ran, I’ve changed SO very much.  ….But I still have a ways to go. 

My hope is that someone out there reading today, someone who’s struggling with negative body image, will WAKE up and see that living with an eating disorder is not living at all.  And I want to open my door (my email) to anyone who needs to talk!

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Dear Eating Disorder,

I hate you.

So, so much.

I hate what you’ve done to my mind.

How I can’t seem to ever escape your pull, your toxic lure.

I hate what you’ve done to my body.

Making it weaker than it needs to be.

I hate how you always seem to beat down my spirit.

Introducing self-doubt, depression and negativity.

I hate that I’ve wasted SO many years listening to your lies.

I hate how you’ve damaged good relationships with friends and family.

I hate that sometimes you have control. And I’m left helpless.

No more.

No effing more!

Eating Disorder, I’m breaking up with you.

Breaking free of the putrid stench you leave on my life.

Breaking free from the darkness.

I choose to run into the light. The marvelous light.

ED, you suck.

Plain and simple.

And I’m tired of courting you.

With all my heart,

Lindsay

Yesterday, for the first time in quite a while (6-8 months?), I felt the desire to purge. Like I left my kids to watch their movie, walked into the bathroom and stood over the toilet.

I didn’t allow myself the relief that purging would have brought.

I chose to stop. To walk away.

Something that took all my willpower.

I’ve never closeted my history with an ED, but I’m not always as open about it as you might like.

The truth is – I still struggle with it.

The negative thoughts, the contemplation of restriction or binge/purging.

It’s there. My ED is still there.

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I would never let myself eat this entire burger. Maybe 1/3.

It pains me to say that. But it’s the truth.

And by speaking it and admitting it, I can bring light to it.

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I had a reader email me recently, sharing her own struggles with bulimia. (This is SO common, guys! More than I ever thought possible. I get emails ALL THE TIME!)

I told her about my struggles and gave her some coping advice.

You see, the difference between yesterday and say, 8 years ago, is that I now know how to take control of my thoughts. How to capture them and mold them into something different – and THAT is where recovery starts.

Here is what has worked FOR ME over the past 8 years in dealing with disordered eating and poor body image.

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HOW TO OVERCOME AN EATING DISORDER/DISORDERED EATING:

1. TALK ABOUT IT!

Tell someone. A friend. A family member. A counselor. Your husband.

The thing is - they probably know already. And if they don’t, they won’t be as judgmental as you think. I promise.

Reach out! People want to help. That’s the way we’re designed.

2. SPEAK YOUR ACTIONS!

This one has helped me tremendously. As you’re thinking these negative thoughts or going through the actions of binging and purging, SPEAK YOUR ACTIONS. What I mean is, say out loud, “I’m going to the bathroom now to make myself throw up.” “I’m sticking my finger down my throat.” “I’m fake eating so that I can control my calories.”

When you assign WORDS to your ACTIONS, it gives your mind a chance to catch up with your body. Then you take back control over the situation.

3. TAKE OWNERSHIP!

An ED is so very active. Never passive. You actively choose to starve yourself. You actively choose to make yourself throw up.

YOU do this. Nobody else. No one’s forcing you to act this way. Take ownership.

Then relinquish that ownership and stop doing what you’re doing.

4. KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS!

Become aware of what triggers your ED. It might be a person, reading food blogs or fitness magazines, or certain foods. For instance, what set me off yesterday was a simple spoonful of Cookies and Cream ice cream. (Ice cream was something I’d binge on in the past (then purge), so I know that I need to be careful around it.) I also avoid a couple of healthy living blogs because they make me feel bad about myself. Over time, I’ve found out what sets me off.

KNOW WHAT TRIGGERS THOSE NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE THOUGHTS.

Then avoid them.

5. HAND IT OVER!

One of my favorite scriptures sums this point up….

Romans 12: 1-21 – “…present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do NOT be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

- “Present your bodies” – a strong and healthy body, not a sickly body that you’ve abused.

- “Do not be conformed to this world” – meaning don’t succumb to peer pressure to look a certain way or eat certain foods. This “world” places far too great a value on the superficial.

- “What is GOOD and ACCEPTABLE and PERFECT” – An eating disorder is absolutely NONE of these things.

Hand over this burden to God. To prayer. To listening to the Holy Spirit (what some might call your conscience).

Surrender it.

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These are just a scant few of the ways to approach recovery – and every person is different. The main point I want to hit home….

Recovery is a journey, not a destination.

A journey that makes us WAY stronger. Able to change our minds. Able to encourage others.

A journey that simply must be taken.

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Dear Eating Disorder,

This post felt good to write.

No, GREAT!

This post was a slap in your face.

Until next time…said no one ever.

I’m over you.

I’m….

splendid…

lindsay

QUESTION: Poor body image – thoughts/solutions/something I didn’t cover? If you were to write a “breakup” letter to something, what would it be?

splendid…lindsay

**For more posts related to eating disorders, simply use the “Search My Blog” option in the left sidebar.**

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by lindsaymwright

creating fitness-loving children

February 17, 2014 in Blog, Body, Family, Goals, Inspiration, Kids by lindsaymwright

I get that it’s winter. 

I get that it’s freezing (heck, we got 10 inches of snow last week!). 

But my kids are ANTSY to move. 

And even though it might not feel like it when you’ve got children running circles around the house, flailing body parts and jumping up and down all.day.long, your children might not be getting enough exercise. Childhood obesity has more than doubled in children and tripled in adolescents in the last 30 years, leaving more than a THIRD of our children overweight or obese (source). Genetics and diet play a role, yes, but our trend towards inactivity can also be to blame.

Exercise is important for children for the following reasons:

  1. It controls their weight.
  2. It helps them sleep better at night, for longer and higher quality.
  3. It helps them have higher self-esteem and self confidence by improving their well being.
  4. Exercise reduces blood pressure.
  5. Exercise reduces risk of diabetes and some types of cancer.

The American Heart Association recommends, for children 2 and older, 60 minutes of physical activity a day.  If you don’t have an hour, split it up in two 30-minute periods.  So the question is:

How can we as parents get our children to LOVE fitness?

Here are five easy ways to get started today!

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Be the change you wish to see!

Our kids pattern behavior that they see in us, whether it be positive or negative.  Make sure that you yourself are meeting the recommended daily exercise requirements.  For adults, this means at least 30 minutes of physical activity every day.  Sweat doesn’t necessarily have to be involved – you can take a walk around the block, work in the yard or play Frisbee.  As long as you’re moving, it counts!  Create a habit of physical activity for yourself and your children will most likely follow suit!

Get them involved in SPORTS!

In most states, children as young as 4 years old can be involved in community sports such as soccer, baseball and gymnastics (we all know how Henry’s soccer season went. Winking smile).  Karate is also a great option – often perfect for children who need a little more discipline structure.  Childhood involvement in sport activities has been proven to increase the likelihood of ADULT involvement in such activities.  Contact your local recreation park to learn more about sign up dates and deadlines!

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Head to the park!

Exercise should be FUN and who doesn’t have fun at the park!  Playing at the park for 30-60 minutes should provide plenty of physical activity for your child!  YOU can even get in a good workout at the same time.  Think Monkey Bar Pull-ups, pumping your legs on the swing set or triceps dips off the park bench.  <-although I gotta say, it is kinda nice to just sit on the bench in peace.

Make it a FAMILY affair!

Get outside and play active games, such as “Red Rover”, “Capture the Flag” or “Tag”.  Take family walks down at your local track or greenway and let your little ones run beside you.  Better yet, bring their bikes along – just don’t forget the helmets!

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Purchase active video games.

If all else fails and you’ve got to stay inside, purchase an interactive video game system, such as Wii Fit, XBox 360 Kinect or a Playstation Move.  The initial investment for these products might be steep, but they can be “played” everyday and are a great way to sneak exercise into your child’s day.  (We’re “borrowing” my sister’s Wii right now and LOVE it for those days we can’t get outside.)

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Overall, I think one of the best gifts we can give our children is SELF ESTEEM.  Yes, self, meaning it must spring from within them.  But when we encourage and praise (both when they win AND lose), we play a role in fostering up that child’s self image. 

Tell them they’re super fast (!!). 

That you’ve never seen moves like that (!!).

That they have a super high jumps (!!).

(use the word super a lot). 

Hands down, praise is one of the best parenting tools I have in my bag of tricks!  (it also happens to work on husbands too. #amiright)

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QUESTION:  Any tips to add??  How do you get your kids off the couch?

splendid…lindsay

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by lindsaymwright

why stretch marks aren’t as bad as you think

February 3, 2014 in Baby, Blessings, Blog, Body, Inspiration, Kids, Pregnancy by lindsaymwright

As a little girl (with no brothers), I saw my mama’s bare belly plenty of times.  But never for very long….because of the stretch marks.  Those pearly-white lines etching patterns into her body.  Like rivers on a road map.  Like a tattoo that she never really signed up for.

I’d ask about them (because I didn’t have any yet – surely I needed those to be a beautiful woman like she was (is).  She also had a big, puffy C-section scar – twice cut open.  I needed one of those too…) and she’d laugh them off and say something along the lines of,

“You were worth it.”

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I never understood what that meant until now, in my third trimester, with my third baby.

Those lines.

They weren’t something ugly, like my mama thought but would never say out loud.  No.  They were a bartering tool.

My mama, like all mamas, traded her body for my life.

What a precious, flawless thought.

And that’s exactly what this journey of pregnancy is.  A handing over.  An act of trust.  Submission to whatever may come.  Stretch marks, c-section scars, the swollen ankles, nausea, the acne.  All of it – simply part of the deal.  Some women go through the journey unmarked, while others take on a heaping bag of stuff.  And the truth is, nobody goes into pregnancy and SIGNS UP for this stuff.  I won’t pretend that I, like many other women, haven’t sought out ways around the stretch marks and cellulite.

But….

When we devote time (too much time) worrying about how we’ll look after that baby comes or whether we’ll be marked up, we miss out on the beauty of submission and what the end result provides us with.  New life!  A small chance to play a bigger role in something beautiful.

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I would challenge us all, myself included, to look at our bodies with a little more grace, pregnant or not.  And THIS is why I won’t be sharing any anti-stretch mark tips with you.  Because in doing so, I would in a small way be contributing to the idea that our bodies, squiggly lines and all, are things that need to be changed.

And they aren’t.

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splendid…lindsay

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by lindsaymwright

why NOT knowing your family health history can be deadly

February 1, 2014 in Blog, Body, Causes by lindsaymwright

Family health history.  How important is yours in determining overall health?  What can it tell us?  Read more from Jemma Smith!

And HAPPY WEEKEND!

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Is your family health history is something you think about only when you go to a new doctor, and then off the top of your head?  Unfortunately, that’s the case for many of us, but there are compelling reasons to start to think of your family health history as a powerful tool that can literally add years to your life.

Family health histories, when done properly, contain a wealth of information about some of the deadliest diseases and conditions that could affect your future.  Some conditions that tend to run in families are heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, strokes, and some types of cancer.  By taking the time to pinpoint instances of certain diseases and conditions in your family, you can help your doctor know what to look for and which medicines to prescribe or avoid.  This is also a good time to bring up family members storied about negative medication side effects especially for medications like Pradaxa.  With side effects that range from internal bleeding to death if a family member has had a bad reaction you might choose another medication to avoid side effects or worse, having to file a Pradaxa law suit.

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Your family health history should go back as far as grandparents, and then be wide enough to include siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews.  With this picture you can spot trends that may not be obvious in just your immediate family – for instance, your father’s family may carry a condition that causes miscarriages, but obviously he would have never been affected by that.

Actress Angelina Jolie made headlines when she went public with her decision to have a double mastectomy after learning she carried the gene for breast cancer. Jolie was 37 at the time of her mastectomies; her mother died at age 56 of a related cancer.  For some, though, the information comes too late – such as for college student Aqaulyn Laury, who found out of a family history of strokes only after suffering a stroke herself.

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Knowing the red flags in your family health history allows you to take steps to minimize your risks.  For instance, if certain types of cancers run in your family, your doctor may set up a schedule for regular screenings.  Lifestyle changes such as adopting a healthier diet, getting regular exercise, and quitting smoking can help you lower your chances of developing heart disease and other common illnesses.  Less obvious but also important, your doctor should also be aware of your family health history before prescribing medications – cardiac disorders would be a red flag for stimulant prescriptions, for instance, or there may be allergies to certain medications.

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Family health histories are so important that in 2004, the Surgeon General named Thanksgiving to be Know Your Family History Day, in hopes that families would share stories and gather vital information while they gather.  A great place to start gathering your own health history is on the Surgeon General’s Family Health Portrait Website.

QUESTION:  What do you know about your family health history??  Anything scare or concern you?

splendid…lindsay

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by lindsaymwright

picture paragraph – “my weight gain”

January 15, 2014 in Blog, Blogging, Body, Diet, ED, Picture Paragraph, Pregnancy by lindsaymwright

“Picture Paragraph.”

You take a picture and write a paragraph (or two) telling us a little more about it. What was going on that day, your thoughts behind the picture, why you bought that (hideous) shirt you’re wearing, etc. It gives the author a chance to ramble and the reader a chance to get to love the rambler a little bit more. They say a picture is worth a thousand words – I’ll try a paragraph. Here goes.

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Like any good sister, I recently begged Katy if we could borrow her Wii – duration undetermined.  And like any good sister, she said yes, but that she’d want it back.  It’s been FOUR years since I stepped foot on that Wii Fit board.  FOUR years that have seen four pregnancies (two lost) and more than a few weight fluctuations.  I was a little reluctant to get on the board because I haven’t known my weight in a very long time.  But I got on.  And the Wii board welcomed me back.  And then told me I’d gained 19.2 pounds since my last check-in.

Weight gain used to freak me out.  Defining my mood, how the day would go, whether I felt sexy, what (and WHETHER) I could eat that day.  But yesterday, I just laughed and moved on with my play time (AND beat ALL of my previous records..and most of Travis’.).

To simply brush off a gain?!?!

Yes, I’m pregnant and I know that I’m supposed to be heavier.  Even so, I feel so different these past few years in regards to my body and numbers.

Like I’ve finally grown up.

19.2 pounds-and-four years grown up.

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More Picture Paragraphs

Theater Girl

The Container

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QUESTION:  How do YOU deal with weight gain??

splendid…lindsay

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by lindsaymwright

the good life: then and now

December 21, 2013 in Blog, Body, Causes, Diet by lindsaymwright

I was recently asked to share an infographic here on the blog, something I rarely do, but I thought this one had pertinent information regarding health and fitness in the 1970s versus now.  There were some shocking differences between how we view health, fitness and body image – some good, some bad.  I wonder how the 2010’s will differ when compared to say, 30 years from now.

Take a look and see if any surprise you!  Oh, and happy weekend!!!  Only 4 more sleeps till Christmas!!!

splendid…lindsay

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by lindsaymwright

5 things you SHOULDN’T say to a pregnant woman

December 6, 2013 in Baby, Blog, Body, Discussion, Lists, Pregnancy by lindsaymwright

I’ll be the first to admit it.

Pregnant women be crazy!

You can take offense to that statement (or nod your head along as Travis is doing at this very moment), but hear me out.  A pregnant woman is really not her normal cheery self and it’s all due to the hormones raging through her bloodstream.  Hormones that protect and grow the baby, the uterus and placenta.  Good hormones, when we’re talking about helping her do what she’s supposed to be doing – growing a baby.  Not-so-great hormones when we’re talking about dealing with Hallmark commercials, a flat tire, the stress of Christmas shopping and/or ignorant people.

We’ll talk about ignorant people today.  Realize when I say “ignorant”, what I’m describing here is someone who just doesn’t know – lacking knowledge or information.  I say this because I refuse to believe that anyone would be so daring as to intentionally hurt another, let alone a woman who is doing her best to grow a child.  Call me naïve.

I was offended earlier this week.

Someone (who shall remain nameless) came up to me, rubbed my belly and said, “WOW!!  Looks like somebody ate a little too much turkey.”

In the list of things NOT to say to a pregnant woman, this one might be at the tippy top.

What NOT to say to a pregnant woman:

1)  Please don’t comment on the size (big or small) of a woman’s belly.

Here’s why this is offensive:

Just because I’m visibly pregnant does not make it ok to comment on the size or shape of my body.  In case you’re confused, a good rule of thumb:  If you wouldn’t say it to a non-pregnant person, definitely don’t say it to a pregnant person.  If you wouldn’t go up to anyone else and comment on the fact that they were looking bigger, why would you assume that it’s alright to say that to a pregnant lady?!!?! It’s not.  And it needs to stop.  Whether I look big or small to you (I’ve been on both ends of this – people thought I was starving Henry in the womb), keep it to yourself.  There are plenty of other things you can say to me.  Comment on how thick my hair looks from all the prenatal vitamins.  Tell me that you like my top or my shoes.  But please don’t comment on something that I really can’t control.

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You see – Pregnancy is an exercise in letting go.

You have to let go of your body, your hormones, sometimes your food choices, and most difficult of all…you have to let go of your control issues.  Three times now I’ve had to grow stronger in this discipline and it really never gets easier.  Whether I look 2 months pregnant or 9 months pregnant at this point is somewhat out of my control.  I eat healthy foods.  I exercise daily.  I get 9 hours of sleep.  Drink my 100 ounces of water and take my vitamins.  These things I can control.

What I cannot control is what my body does with all of this.  The shape of my belly, the bigness/roundness/fullness of my breasts, whether I’m carrying high or low, whether I get stretch marks, whether or not I waddle when I walk, whether or not I retain water or get cankles.

I can’t go on a crash diet.  I can’t do a cleanse or a fast.  I can’t exercise outrageously.  And I can’t let people’s remarks get to me.  A pregnant woman can only do so much…then it’s time to let go of that control.

Ignorant people are a dime a dozen.  Don’t be one.  Choose your words wisely (SOMETHING YOU CAN CONTROL!!) and if you can’t lift me up by your verbiage, then keep it to yourself.

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Other items on the “What NOT to say to a Pregnant Woman”-list:

2)  “Are you SURE you’re not having twins?!?”

3)  “I think you should have ____________-type of labor/delivery/breastfeeding plan because it’s what I did and it’s what’s best!”

4)  “Are you sure you can handle the pain of childbirth?  You know you don’t deal well with pain.”

5) “Wait.  You’re only 3 months along?!?”

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QUESTION:  Mamas – tell me some more things to add to the list!!   Even better – let’s start a list of things we ABSOLUTELY SHOULD say to lift each other up!

splendid…lindsay

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by lindsaymwright

Top 5 Reasons You Should Take a Walk

October 14, 2013 in Blog, Body, Lists, Workout by lindsaymwright

It’s official.

It’s Fall.

The leaves are changing, the temperatures getting cooler.  All baked goods now contain pumpkin and candy corn has become a food group in most households (mine included). The thing about Fall is that it passes quickly!  In no time, the air outside will resemble an ice box.  Actually, for some of you Canadians, it might already.

My goal: To soak up as much of this CRISP, FALL air as possible!

And what better way to do it than to TAKE A WALK.  The benefits of walking are endless, but I thought I’d share my top 5 reasons for using walking as a daily treat!  Currently, I’m using walking as a means of STRESS RELIEF while dealing with nausea.  My pace has slowed, but I’m still getting out there!

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1. Walking is a low impact activity, meaning that it puts little to no strain on your joints and ligaments.  Perfect for new moms who are looking to begin an exercise regime but don’t know where to start, walking is EASY!  You simply put one foot in front of the other!

2. Walking burns calories. Depending on your pace, a 140 pound woman can burn anywhere from 80 to 102 calories per mile!

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Several factors can ADD to that calorie burn too – pushing a stroller, moving your arms swiftly, holding weights or using ankle weights.

3. Not only does walking help you stray trim and lean, but it also helps reduce the risk of many of the major health issues that we face, namely heart disease, cancer and stroke.  As with any form of exercise, walking does not PREVENT these diseases from occurring, but rather, helps to keep your body as healthy as possible to REDUCE the risk of life threatening illnesses.

4. Need a mood booster? GO WALK!  If you can, get off the treadmill and walk outside!  Not only does your body release endorphins when you exercise (that’s why all those fit people are happy!), but walking also presents your mind with a chance to decompress and process the day’s events.

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5. Walking requires little to no equipment! All you need is a good pair of shoes, some time and possibly a jogging stroller!  No need for an expensive gym membership!  Walking can be done on your local greenway, high school track or even in your living room (imagine marching in place!).  It’s one of the cheapest forms of exercise there is!

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So there you have it!  (I’m always looking for walking buddies, so hit me up!)

QUESTION:  Do you enjoy a good walk??  Rather be running?

splendid…lindsay

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by lindsaymwright

vanity sizing….discussion post

September 23, 2013 in Blog, Body by lindsaymwright

I wasn’t going to post anything today.  That is until Travis went off this morning about his shirts.

You see, I bought him a pack of Hane’s white undershirts.  Size Large…because that’s the size he normally wears.  This morning, he opened the package and put one of the new shirts on.  TOO BIG.  He was furious.  <-I won’t go into the differences between men and women here, but suffice to say that I’m pretty sure most women would be jumping up and down at the thought of an article being TOO BIG.  “I’ve lost weight!”  “Maybe my body has finally figured out that brownies are the way to weight loss!?!” 

Anyway, the next words out of his mouth were, “Stop fooling yourself, America!  When I was 16 years old, I wore a Hane’s Large and it fit.  If anything, I’m BIGGER now.”

What he experienced is called, “Vanity Sizing.”  A sneaky (or not so sneaky) way that the fashion industry has switched around some numbers to make us feel better about our bodies.

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I’ve read the trends.  I’ve been in the fitness world for 8 years now and worked with numerous weight loss clients.  The truth:  We are not, in fact, shrinking, but expanding year by year.  I just find this all fascinating.  I wanted to hear WHAT YOU GUYS THOUGHT?

Is Vanity Sizing fair?

Does it even really matter?

Is it a disservice to anyone?

YOUR THOUGHTS please!

splendid…lindsay

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