flashback friday: the body i’m meant to have

December 19, 2014 in Blog, Blogging, Body, ED, Faith, Flashback Friday, Inspiration by lindsaymwright

(I wrote this post two years ago.  Timehop reminded me of it and I thought today would be a good time to share it again.  I’m not quite ready to blog yet.  My papaw is still hanging in there (hospice – acute leukemia) and I’m thankful (so thankful) for your prayers and kind words!)

Reader emails.

If I were vain, I’d call them “fan mail”.  (But luckily, I’m too pretty to be vain.)

Instead, I take them for what they are – people reaching out.

Anytime I see one in my inbox, my mind fills with worry about what I’ll say, whether the words will be anointed, even before I click open.  The major theme among the emails:

DISCONTENTMENT and A DESIRE TO CHANGE.

Although I feel uneasy about these emails, it’s pretty easy for me to respond.  Because I’ve been there.  Heck, at moments, I’m still there.  The only difference between now and 5 years ago is that I’ve learned how to overpower any negative, self-hate thoughts that come in my mind.  I simply say, “I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.”

I can’t refute that.  And neither can the voices. 018 This particular reader email that I’m about to share encompasses the very things I said I love writing about: GOD and BODY IMAGE.  I’m sure there are other (correct and helpful) ways that this topic could have been approached, but, after some prayer and reflection, I responded the best I knew how.  I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts on the matter in the comments!

Here we go.

SUBJECT:  Help and Encouragement needed!  Please.

Dear Lindsay, I know you probably hear this a lot, but I think you should hear it again- What an awesome blog! Truly a blessing to come across!! I have followed many blogs in the past, but I was especially drawn to yours because of your spirituality. I’ve shared many of your struggles in the past (restrictive eating/laxative abuse) and am happy to say that God pulled me out of all of that last year. The mental and emotional healing is still in progress. That’s where I have a question for you. I still struggle with weighing myself multiple times a day and counting calories excessively, only to be disappointed with any progress, or lack there of. I’ve finally come to a place where I want the body God intended me to have.  I want it. Regardless of what the scale says, or how many calories I eat a day, I want what God intended for me to have. And I don’t think I’m that far off! (In my mind, probably 10-12lbs). I DO believe that the buck doesn’t stop here- that God has an even better body in store for me. My question is this- how? How do you trust God with something that you have always been in control of? And not just that, but something that you have been FIERCELY in control of? I know that my efforts will only lead to frustration and not being successful (doing it in my own strength, that is). But trusting God, letting Him direct me in this area, is probably the hardest obstacle I’ve come to in my journey.  Your thoughts?

Whoa.

The first thing I wrote back was, “Before I answer your question, tell me what you mean by you’re 10-12 pounds from the body God wants you to have. Are you 10 pounds over that goal or under that goal?  Knowing that will help me answer you!”  The reader answered back that she was 10-12 pounds ABOVE that weight.  With that knowledge in mind (and again, some prayer time), I was able to respond.

Dear Reader, It’s so hard when a person who has struggled with disordered eating wants to lose weight. Because all of the tips and things that I could tell you to do, often backlash and our past comes back to haunt us.  I’d like to ask – Why do you think that the body that God wants you to have is 10 pounds lighter?? Honestly, God doesn’t really care about your body size, but rather, your heart.  That being said, I don’t think He necessarily wants you to be fat or overweight or uncomfortable.  He wants your HEART to be in a good place.  For you to love yourself. For you to treat your body with respect.  He made the body you’re in right at this moment.  10 pounds “overweight.”  And I don’t think He cares what the number is. I threw my scale in the garbage because it was controlling me.  I don’t count calories anymore because they were controlling me.  I’m working right now to cut back on an exercise addiction that is controlling me.  I know that, for me, I had to stop cold turkey and really GIVE IT OVER to God.  In the end, it’s your heart that matters.  What are you putting before Him?  These things become idols in our lives and what God so desperately wants is for HIM to be an idol.  I can guarantee you, if you give these things up and ask God to guide you, He will honor that sacrifice! The body, your weight, how you look in clothes – all trivial and NOT eternal.  You are definitely in my prayers – I hope what I said doesn’t come across as the wrong answer – it’s just my heart.

Lindsay

The message that I can’t stop repeating, the whole idea behind “Tearing Down Idols”, is this:

Put your time and effort into THE HEART.  Into others.  Into your marriage/family/community.  When those aspects of your life are fulfilled, the number on the scale won’t matter.  It just won’t.  It will pale in the light of the sense of peace and contentment that comes from focusing on the things that TRULY MATTER.  I promise. 

060 Does this mean you should stop working out and eating healthfully?  Absolutely not.  I KNOW that God made our bodies to MOVE.  I also know that He wants us to respect our bodies by nourishing them with foods that fuel, rather than harm.

It’s the obsession with all things BODY that I disagree with.   

Will the number on the scale matter when you die?  Will your perfect body give you eternal life?  No.

The body – no. 

The heart – YES!

QUESTION:  What are your thoughts on using the phrase, “The body God intended me to have?”

splendid…lindsay

at a loss

December 15, 2014 in Blog by lindsaymwright

I sat down to type up something (anything) for you this Monday morning.

I’m blank.

Like….there’s nothing to say.

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I could tell you about our weekend and how we spent the majority of it doing things we’d rather not have done.  I could fill you in on my papaw and the fact that he’s dying and I saw him for the last time on Saturday.  I could tell you about my mamaw and her Alzheimer’s and about how she can’t remember how old my son is, let alone come to terms with the fact that her husband won’t be coming home from the hospital.  I could say that I’m trying to be the biggest comfort to my mama right now as her heart is breaking and she’s missing her daddy (the man he used to be and not this shell laying in that bed).

All that sounds so depressing.  Because it is.

So I’ll just sit here and be a little more silent.  The blog might be a little more silent.  And that’s ok because my heart is just sad.  And it’s ok to share when your heart is sad.  More thank ok.  It’s part of being human.

splendid…lindsay

these kids….they’re learning

December 12, 2014 in Blog, Family, Homeschooling, Intentional Living, Kids, Motherhood by lindsaymwright

There are a million little pieces of white paper on my kitchen floor.

This gives me goosebumps.

If you know me, you know that floors are my thing.  My crazy comes out.  They must be clean.  I think every woman (person) has their own kind of crazy.  Maybe yours is that you can’t stand having dirty laundry or you can’t seem to filter the things that come out of your mouth or you have to sleep in a certain position or your whole day is off.  I don’t know.  I just know that floors are my thing and having a million teeny-tiny pieces of white paper on my kitchen floor gives me anxiety like no other.

Food pieces (or wet, mushy poop pieces) would be worse.  So today I’m thankful that it’s just paper.

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Clara is learning how to cut.

With big people scissors.

(That’s not a commentary on dwarfism.  Just adult scissors versus small child scissors.)

I drew some shapes on a piece of computer paper and I let her have at it, cutting them out.  The circle I drew came out looking more like a rectangle when she cut it but she’s only four and I don’t think they have any type of scissor-skill competitions at her age so we’re good.  ….For now.  I really should have given her the smaller scissors but I can’t seem to find them in our junk drawer right now.  There’s just too much junk in there (seriously I found a roll of pennies!  Who keeps rolls of coins in their house??  Me.).  I looked in the backup junk drawer and the scissors are lost.  This means I’ll put them on my grocery list, spend $6 picking out the pink pair of kid scissors (because Clara will insist – if they had a glitter pair, I’m sure we’d pick that one), then arrive home and the old $3 pair that I already had will pop out at me and scream, “Here I am!!  You ninny!  Now you own two pair of ridiculously small scissors!!  Ha!”

Story of my life….

Anyway, Clara is trying and she’s getting the hang of it.  I haven’t told you the story of our trip down to Cabbage Patch General Hospital (yes, there is such a place) or about how I tried my hardest to talk her into getting a doll that I’D actually like looking at or about how she quickly slapped that idea right out the window and picked one of the uglier babies at the hospital (when a mama knows, a mama knows) and named her, “Ayizabeth.”  The doll is laying on our living room floor right now, “playing” and “being SOOOOO good.”  “She doesn’t even cry, Mama!  She’s SOOOOO good.”

I smile.

Porter has learned to clap.

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And it’s the most precious thing in the world.  And he KNOWS he’s doing something monumental.  He just lights up with the biggest grin.  The way that children learn is just fascinating.  One day they just DO IT.  They just learn.  He’s also found his “pincher fingers.”  I’ve been waiting.  For a few weeks, it seemed like he might go his entire life just batting and swatting at the Cheerios in front of him (people would call him baseball-mitt hands – this is what I was envisioning) but luckily he just started pinching at things this week.  I think Henry gave him a lesson while I had my back turned (searching for the scissors).  Henry gets a star on his chart for that one.

Speaking of…

Henry is learning to how to put stickers on his chart.

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He has a reading chart.  One sticker for every book he reads.  He’s getting super sly about what he defines as a “book.”  It’s really funny to watch.  He’ll get a book and mentally cut it into chapters (even if there aren’t chapters) then call the individual chapters “books”.  I think I was distracted one day (yes, really) and said that he could put a sticker on for reading only a couple of pages of a book and since then he’s tried to pull one over on me every.single.time.  Like I said, it’s fun to watch.  And oh man, I get the proudest-mom smile when he chooses to read his Bible.  All by himself.  Like my heart just bursts and I want to go shower him in kisses and say “YES!  This is the BEST book!  And don’t you just love Psalms?!?!  Aren’t the poems just beautiful?!?!  And isn’t the story about Moses just the COOLEST!?!”  But I don’t.  Because I want him to want to read the Bible for himself and not because it pleases his mother so I sit back and watch and pray over the time he reads, praying that God will turn him into a sponge and he’ll soak up all the goodness that’s in that book.

So those are the things my kids are learning at the moment.

And those are the things that I am learning.  The mess, the sticker trickery, the joy of clapping.  I get to take a front seat to all of that.

And it’s good.

So, so good.

splendid…lindsay

wiaw and navigating holiday eating

December 10, 2014 in Blog, Diet, Food, Goals, Rambles, WIAW by lindsaymwright

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve participated in Jenn’s “What I Ate Wednesday” (speaking of did you see her latest recipe?!?  YUMMO!!) – I never tire of looking at other people’s food pics.  Is that just me??  I don’t think so.  People love food.  Speaking of which, I know there’s a TON of food anxiety associated with the holiday season and I thought I’d share my two cents.

Stop Stressing.

Here’s the thing….Christmas comes once a year.  I’m guessing most of my readers are fairly healthy people.  You work out, you eat whole, nutritious foods the majority of the time.  I think that the anxiety surrounding holiday foods is unnecessary if you keep in mind that this is a temporary season.  Do you make Christmas cookies the other 11 months of the year?  Do you eat poorly on a regular basis?  I’d say the answer is NO (at least for me it is).  My normal approach is this –>I aim to eat a salad a day, lean proteins, little dairy (it hurts my belly) and I drink at least 100 ounces of water a day.  I make a point to move regularly.  I don’t track calories and I don’t have food rules.  I know that when I eat trashy foods, my body doesn’t function as well.  Health and energy take priority over weight loss or calorie counting.

During this season of holiday parties and cookie exchanges, I think the biggest tip I’d give is stop putting so much thought into it.  I know that for me personally, if I say some food group is off limits …then that’s the only thing I can think about.  It’s all I want.  Moderation works best.  Always will.  If you want a sugar cookie shaped in the form of a Christmas tree – go for it.  Just pay attention to how it makes you feel.  I can eat a few cookies.  A whole plate of cookies probably isn’t the best.

Anywho….here’s a little glimpse of what I’ve been eating lately.  Lots of greens, chicken, coffee and froyo.  Smile with tongue out

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^^Henry and Clara ALWAYS pick gummy bears as their topping.  I can’t imagine that mixing well with froyo but to each their own.^^

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^^I recently ordered two dozen Spring Sprinkle Healthy Bites.  They taste like a sugar cookie but are WAY healthier.^^

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^^These lasted all of two days.  Reminded me of summer.^^

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^^I got all sorts of Martha Stewart and made my own cinnamon almond butter.  Meaning I shook a crap-ton of cinnamon into a jar of almond butter and stirred it up.^^

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^^Pre-dressing.  I’ve been using Ken’s Balsamic Vinaigrette lately.^^

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^^Best pumpkin yogurt.  Hands down.^^

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QUESTION:  What are your thoughts on HOLIDAY EATING??

splendid…lindsay

weekend scenes {plus some real talk}

December 8, 2014 in Blog by lindsaymwright

It was lovely.

Like seriously exactly what I needed.

I try to be as positive as I can on the blog but lately I’ve been pretty stressed.  Opening up and managing a new business is tough stuff and I’d be lying if I said it was my very favorite.  To be honest, I’m still not sure that this is where God has me for the long term.  Every day there is some sort of crisis or problem but at the same time, I’m finding that my ability to deal with those problems is getting better.  I just don’t know.  I’m waiting it out.  Just wanted to keep you all up to speed.  Luckily I’ve got an amazing husband who holds me when I need to cry it out and kids who love being on the go.

Anywhooo…those are my very insignificant/can’t believe I took up that much of your time-kind or problems.  Back to the weekend.

We ate pizza.

We played Ultimate Frisbee.

We ate brownies.

We played basketball.

(so far we’ve eaten and played sports.  Is there anything more to life?!?)

We took a nap.

(oh yeah…there is more.)

We held hands and we laughed and we watched White Christmas and Sleepless in Seattle and we walked around downtown and we had a grand time.  Just look at our pictures.

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QUESTION:  What’s stressing YOU right now??  How was your weekend?

splendid…lindsay

the 2014th fitness gift guide you’ll see this holiday season

December 5, 2014 in Blog by lindsaymwright

Hello friends!

I wanted to pop in today and share a few FITNESS-related gift ideas that are perfect for anyone in your life that loves to move and shake!  My friend Julie posted something similar this week so if you don’t see something you like below, go check out her post.  Plus there are about a million of these gift guides floating around out there so just hit up google and you’ll surely find something.

Everything on this list is $75 and under – perfect for those of us on a budget (me..always).  Check it out and start SHOPPING (for you or a friend!)!

1.  Hot, hot awesome pants ($25-$75)

underarmourcapris

If there’s one piece of workout gear that I splurge on IT’S PANTS!  I’m super picky about my pants – they must meet a few criteria.  They must be able to pass the “Squat Test” – when you squat down, do the pants stay put on your leg or start sagging down in the crotch?  I find that pants with COMPRESSION help with this (I LOVE these Under Armour Compression Capris and have two pair!).  My pants also have to sit right at the waist – I don’t like anything with a super low rise.

Honorable mentions (I personally own and love these – they meet all my “criteria” Smile):

Lululemon Run Inspire crops ($86)

Nike Lady Filament Long Running Tights ($56)

Under Armour ColdGear Compression Leggings – Women’s ($43)

2.  Heart Rate Monitors ($50-$70)

polar

While I’m not a numbers girl, I do love knowing my heart rate while I work out.  I’m currently using the Polar FT40 (<-this was sent as part of a review) and I find it suits all my needs.  If you’re into running and need more of a GPS-type monitor, I’d check out a Garmin Forerunner.  (Just checked –  The FT40 is actually on clearance right now on Amazon!)

3.  A Jump Rope ($4)

jumprope

For $4, you can buy one of the best fitness tools around.  A JUMP ROPE!  Jump ropes are lightweight and great for travel!  As a trainer, they provide me with a great cardio option for my clients.  Plus it’s just fun to jump around.  (Check out this video from 2 years ago. lol)

4.  Contigo Water Bottle ($10)

contigo

Ever since reading about Janetha’s love affair with Contigo products years ago, I’ve been a convert!  Contigo Water Bottles force you to drink more water throughout the day (due to the patented mouth piece).  I swear by them – I also love their coffee mugs!

Side note –> Contigo also makes a CHILDRENS water bottle that we love!  Easy to hold and the best part – NO LEAKAGE!

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5.  High quality SOCKS ($10-$16)

thorlosocks

A good pair of workout socks can go a long way!  Try the Thorlo Women’s Experia Ultra Lightweight Socks.  I’ve been wearing Thorlos since my freshman year of high school and I’ll never change.  They provide great arch support (yes, socks can do that) and they hold up for SEVERAL years.  There’s a Thorlo outlet in Statesville, NC (about 3.5 hours away) and every time we pass it, I stock up on these socks.  I’ve also heard great things about Asics socks but have personally never tried them.

6.  MoveMore Fitness Punchcard ($35-$60)

MoveMoreLogo

You know I have to self-promote!  If you or someone you know is local and in need of a great (inexpensive) workout alternative, I encourage you to give my Trackstars group a try.  Trackstars is a combination of strength endurance, balance and agility work.  We meet Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday mornings at 8am – Drake Gym.  Punchcards come in packs of 10 and 20 punches. Contact me for pricing!

7.  A Kettlebell (cost depends on the weight)

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If you haven’t heard, Kettlebell training is HOT!  It burns a ton of calories and can be done by most anyone (make sure you get your form down – Kindal can help with that!).  I personally own four kettlebells in various weights and sizes.  My most favorite one (for obvious reasons) is the Onnit Primal Bell.  I just feel like a badass when I swing that monkey around.  The grip is textured and NOT sleek so it doesn’t feel like you’re going to lose it during a swing.  (I also own a couple of these CAP Barbell Kettlebells and they’re also solid pieces for any home gym.)

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QUESTION:  Anything you’d add to the fitness gift guide?  Leave links!!

splendid…lindsay

**Unsponsored post.  Some of these links are to Amazon and I receive a referral credit when you purchase.  As always, thanks for supporting our froyo habit.**