when striving makes you tired

If you didn’t know, it’s a new year.

2016.

(And it will take me a good 90 days to start writing “16” and not “15.”  Good thing a 5 can so easily be made into a 6.)

Yeah, so it’s a new year.

I say that while laughing because of COURSE you know.  Of COURSE you’ve read the multitude of reflection posts, a generous helping of “goal” posts (I’m hesitant to say “resolutions” because that’s such a taboo word nowadays.  Heaven forbid.).  It seemed like everywhere I looked last week, I saw the words, “I will…..”

I couldn’t (I can’t) get on board.

I found myself just closing my computer or tucking my phone away, blinking a couple of times and redirecting my energy to whatever (or usually whomever) was in front of me.  So odd.  I’m a list maker.  A goal setter.  I can’t remember a time when writing out my goals or making a list didn’t seem appealing.  What was WRONG with me?!?!  I should want to write down my goals, to get better.  Just the thought of doing that makes me want to go lie down and take a nap.

It’s not that I don’t have goals.  I have plenty.  Be a better wife.  Yep, I want to do that.  A more patient mother.  YESSSSS, pour out an extra helping.  Create healthier meals for my family.  Sure, sign me up.  Save more money.  Oh my, how we need to do that.

I think what overwhelms me with goal setting is the thought that I need to do MORE.  To be MORE.  Making resolutions implies that I’m not ok where I’m at now, with WHO I am now.  That if I’m not changing, I’m not worth anything.

And that’s simply not true.

I’m totally enough.

The me right now.

The me who needs to make more date nights, put her phone away and make healthier meals (or cook AT ALL).  The me who should drink more water and get more sleep and call her friends.  The me who has zero pictures hung in her house and seriously needs to take the time to decorate.  The me who fluffs the laundry a few too many times in the dryer (read: like 5 and I’m not joking).

I need to work on myself, yes.  And don’t we all.

But I am enough.  (You too!!)

Everything I need has already been placed inside of me. 

When striving makes you tired (like it has me recently), it’s because I’m striving for the wrong things.  Running a worldly race for more things, more money, more attention, more accolades.  It’s draining.  And it diverts my attention from my awesome Creator and everything He’s already done for me.

My goal for 2016 is to rest in the knowledge that no matter how hard I strive, I’ll never be enough.  BUT HE IS.

GOD IS ENOUGH.

He’s everything.  He’s love and salvation and hope and joy and comfort and peace and the solution to all my problems and shortcomings. All those things I resolve to be better at…He’s already done all the work for me.

I am enough because of who I am in Christ. 

And I want to do my part to spread that message.

splendid…lindsay