Hump day.  Hump day.

Also known as Wednesday.  Also known as a pretty busy day for us.  We have Trackstars, a meeting, MoveMore groups, another meeting and schoolwork.  Since it’s Spring Break for our town, I moved my afternoon MoveMore groups to an earlier time (and then proceeded to fill up all of that free afternoon time with SCHTUFF.  It’s just how I am apparently – can’t stand dead space).

So I was thinking about FOOD the other day and how much I love it (this seems to happen on the regular).  Last week’s stomach bug took my appetite away COMPLETELY and nothing sounded or looked good for a full 6-7 days.  I couldn’t even be around the smell of it – Travis cooked tacos one night and I had to stay in the living room.  I’m happy to report that alllllll the food looks good again and you can find me in the kitchen snacking on something most any time of day!  Being hungry again just makes me think about all the time I spent as a teen doing two things:  1) avoiding food and 2) thinking about food all the time.  It’s rather hard to do both of those actions simultaneously without going a little nutty.  Which I was.  Today I want to share my eating history and where I currently stand with food.

Let’s look back, shall we?

My Eating History

High School & College

Anorexia & Bulimia Days.  Obsess about EVERYTHING I put into my body.  Keep a calorie record (all the way down to a piece of sugar-free gum).  Late night binge/Starvation patterns.  Intake ~ 500 calories a day.

Early Marriage

ED Recovery Days.  Slowly transition out of calorie counting.  Still VERY attracted to the latest diet fads & still some binge/starvation behavior occurring.  Intake ~1,200 calories a day.

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Pregnancy

A HUGE turning point in my relationship with food.  View food as necessary fuel for myself and growing baby.  No counting calories.  Adopted an 80/20 mentality of intuitive eating.  A season of rest!  Intake ~ who knows?!?

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Present Day

Nowadays I eat when I’m hungry (and sometimes when I’m bored).  No foods are off limits – I just keep my portion sizes in check.  I refuse to let the words “cheat meal” or “I earned this” slip into my vocabulary.  No counting calories or macros.  Intake ~ 1,800-2,000 calories a day (rough estimate).

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A HUGE turning point for me and my relationship with food came when I stopped thinking so dang much.  I slowly began eating for FUEL and I just stopped thinking about what my next snack/meal would be.  I stopped planning ahead for social events and gatherings (wondering if the gathering I was going to would have food options that fit my regimented intake).  Instead, I began to eat what was presented and then I moved on.

Now listen – I’m not bashing food planning or healthy eating or calorie/macro counting AT ALL.  I just know that for me, freedom surrounding food is a big deal.  I’d much rather be 5 pounds heavier and able to eat without restriction.  It just isn’t worth that mental battle.  Maybe you’re a reader who’s struggling with restriction and obsession.  I’m here to tell you that life doesn’t have to be that way.  Ask yourself this – how many minutes a day am I thinking about FOOD?  And then, what could I replace those thoughts with that would actually better me as a person/mom/friend/wife??  Surely there’s more to life than obsessing about ourselves and this food stuff.

QUESTION:  What’s YOUR eating history??  Do you track calories/macros?

splendid…lindsay

  1. Hayley @ Full of Life says:

    YUP same mindset over here. I don’t think tracking food is always bad, but for me it is. I also realized that when I used to count calories I would eat basically the same amount every single day – no more or less. Now that I don’t at all, some days I eat way more and other days less and it all works out. I used to be so perfectionist with the amount I ate which is ridiculous!

  2. Heather@hungryforbalance says:

    This is a great post and a great reminder! I have spent sooo much time and energy over the last decade counting, planning, and calculating every last calorie. I would often find myself frustrated when when I needed to eat more than the amount I had set in my head.
    Thank you!

  3. Laura says:

    Hooray for food freedom! Isn’t it freeing?! ;) how do you categorize your recent involvement in Advocare/challenge stuff? That has always seemed trendy/fad diet to me. Thoughts?

    • lindsaymwright says:

      Good question! I use Advocare products because I like the science backing them, especially the pre-workout supplements. I’ve done a couple of the cleanses as a way to break my sugar addiction for a short period of time – they’re not too drastic & I like that the cleanses promote EATING! :)

  4. GiGi Eats says:

    OMFG can I just say that you’re an ADORABLE pregnant woman!!!! And your children now – ADORABLE as well!!! :) It is so great to talk about all of this on your blog because you know as well as anyone else, TONS AND TONS of people have eating issues!! It’s good for those people to know, they’re NOT alone!

  5. She Rocks Fitness says:

    Definitely working toward this and hopefully soon I will be at the same point where you are…Spending so much time thinking about food is freaking EXHAUSTING and life is too short for that. I am so proud of your progress. You look so happy and amazing! Thank you for always inspiring and saying it how it is! XOXO

  6. Andrea says:

    I do track once in a while (couple days a week), to make sure I am eating enough!! :)

    I too do not restrict in anyway, maintain my weight, and gain muscle! I am so much happier this way. Intake is 2,200-3,000 for me depending on the day. :)

    Great post!

  7. Debbie says:

    Great blog post, by the way! Awesome that you are experiencing food freedom and have overcome your ED. However, I want to point out that you HAVE to be eating far more than 1,800-2,000 calories a day. I think you are really underestimating. If you run 8 miles a day (or at least are as active as you are, for your height and activity level, you’ve got to be eating more like between 2,500-3,000 calories. I just wanted to mention this, because as a blogger who shares about her previous ED history, I think it’s important to be a bit more accurate on how much you are consuming, so as to give other readers (who may be struggling with an ED) a realistic idea of intake for such an active person as you are.

    • lindsaymwright says:

      Thanks for pointing that out, Debbie! I think everyday is different and I don’t count calories so I really have no idea. I just eat until I’m full and eat when I’m hungry.

  8. Danica @ It's Progression says:

    This post really makes me think about how my eating habits/perspective on health and food has evolved in the last 8 years or so – it’s changed SO much. I’m sure I could write my own very lengthy blog post on it. I was in a good place before getting pregnant, and then getting pregnant REALLY was the cherry on top for me. It’s made me so much more selfless, and in the best ways possible, including what I think about food, my body, and my overall health.

  9. Missy says:

    Oh Lindsay, I LOVE when you share about your past struggles re: eating/food etc. You are so inspiring and truthful.
    I knwow its easy to put the past behind once youve reached a certain point in recovery so I am TRULY grateful that you choose to continue sharing and thus be a blessing to others.

    I LOVE this question you asked: “Ask yourself this – how many minutes a day am I thinking about FOOD? And then, what could I replace those thoughts with ….”

    Another useful question that was a WAKE UP call for me is this: “What would I be thinking about right now if I WASNT thinking about food?

    Because you know what it usually is for me? My problems. The not painful/not fun ones. My worries and fears.
    Not until I asked myself that (Thanks to Isable Foxen Duke) did I begin to TRULY accept that there was a psychological component to my eating dis-ease. Just like everyone says, its not about the food/body. I always thought I was an anomaly. But..nope!

  10. Kelly @ Nosh and Nourish says:

    I was just talking about this desire for “freedom” the other day. I need it. I want it. I don’t want to spend so much of my time, thoughts, energy, self thinking about food all the time. Please join me in praying for this freedom, in my life and in others! THANK YOU :) Looking forward to seeing you SOON!

  11. Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy says:

    I don’t count calories either. I tried doing that in college, along with exercising way too much, and it was exhausting and not good for me! Now that I’m pregnant, I eat when I’m hungry. I’m having a ton of food aversions, so I’m basically just eating what sounds good/what I can. It’s been difficult, because I wish that I was able to eat all of the healthy things I was eating prior to pregnancy, but the doctor assures me that I’m doing fine, and this experience is teaching me to let go of control!

  12. Stephanie Krishnan says:

    Great article, found it from Sistas of Strength. I am right where you were out of ED where fads still cross your mind when you see Beach Body results on FB! I struggled with a ED and just haven’t been able to move on mentally from obsessing! Thank you for mentioning pregnancy, that is something that scares me a bit, I’ve heard that alot of people’s mindset does change. You have a lovely family!!!

  13. Jolene says:

    I LOVE this so much! I found the same thing, once I stopped thinking so darn much about food, it all suddenly felt easier and I didn’t struggle with it so much mentally. Eat when hungry. Enough said, right?!

  14. Sarah@creatingbettertomorrow says:

    Love love love this – as someone who has and everyday is sitll in some way recovering from an eating disorder this hits home with me. I have counted both calories and macros in the past…and it took way too much energy and time. Having children made me look at how much time that took..seriously?!? WAs I going to waste that much time on counting, logging, tracking…time that I could’ve spent being their mother?

    Maybe counting is for some but I think learning to love yourself should be goal #1 and the rest will fall in to place…eat well, exercise, drink water, rest = love

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