Hump day. Hump day.
Also known as Wednesday. Also known as a pretty busy day for us. We have Trackstars, a meeting, MoveMore groups, another meeting and schoolwork. Since it’s Spring Break for our town, I moved my afternoon MoveMore groups to an earlier time (and then proceeded to fill up all of that free afternoon time with SCHTUFF. It’s just how I am apparently – can’t stand dead space).
So I was thinking about FOOD the other day and how much I love it (this seems to happen on the regular). Last week’s stomach bug took my appetite away COMPLETELY and nothing sounded or looked good for a full 6-7 days. I couldn’t even be around the smell of it – Travis cooked tacos one night and I had to stay in the living room. I’m happy to report that alllllll the food looks good again and you can find me in the kitchen snacking on something most any time of day! Being hungry again just makes me think about all the time I spent as a teen doing two things: 1) avoiding food and 2) thinking about food all the time. It’s rather hard to do both of those actions simultaneously without going a little nutty. Which I was. Today I want to share my eating history and where I currently stand with food.
Let’s look back, shall we?
My Eating History
High School & College
Anorexia & Bulimia Days. Obsess about EVERYTHING I put into my body. Keep a calorie record (all the way down to a piece of sugar-free gum). Late night binge/Starvation patterns. Intake ~ 500 calories a day.
ED Recovery Days. Slowly transition out of calorie counting. Still VERY attracted to the latest diet fads & still some binge/starvation behavior occurring. Intake ~1,200 calories a day.
A HUGE turning point in my relationship with food. View food as necessary fuel for myself and growing baby. No counting calories. Adopted an 80/20 mentality of intuitive eating. A season of rest! Intake ~ who knows?!?
Nowadays I eat when I’m hungry (and sometimes when I’m bored). No foods are off limits – I just keep my portion sizes in check. I refuse to let the words “cheat meal” or “I earned this” slip into my vocabulary. No counting calories or macros. Intake ~ 1,800-2,000 calories a day (rough estimate).
A HUGE turning point for me and my relationship with food came when I stopped thinking so dang much. I slowly began eating for FUEL and I just stopped thinking about what my next snack/meal would be. I stopped planning ahead for social events and gatherings (wondering if the gathering I was going to would have food options that fit my regimented intake). Instead, I began to eat what was presented and then I moved on.
Now listen – I’m not bashing food planning or healthy eating or calorie/macro counting AT ALL. I just know that for me, freedom surrounding food is a big deal. I’d much rather be 5 pounds heavier and able to eat without restriction. It just isn’t worth that mental battle. Maybe you’re a reader who’s struggling with restriction and obsession. I’m here to tell you that life doesn’t have to be that way. Ask yourself this – how many minutes a day am I thinking about FOOD? And then, what could I replace those thoughts with that would actually better me as a person/mom/friend/wife?? Surely there’s more to life than obsessing about ourselves and this food stuff.
QUESTION: What’s YOUR eating history?? Do you track calories/macros?