It’s currently Sunday night.
I just sat down on the couch.
I’ve got Travis’ cuddly blue robe on and I’m about to head into the kitchen for my nightly bowl of cereal (on a frosted mini-wheats streak right not that I don’t forsee ending anytime soon). My hands smell of lavender – a reminder of the bath I just gave Porter. We laughed and laughed as I dribbled water onto his belly and he tried to catch hold of it. The most rudimentary of science projects – learning that you can’t really “catch” water.
Anyway, I’m sat down to crank out a quick “Weekend Scenes” post. I’m shocked that there are a total of four pictures that I’ve taken over the weekend.
I made banana bread. It was a little dry.
Except deep down, I’m not surprised at all. Four pictures seems like four too many right now.
I’ve felt this shift in myself for quite sometime now.
This internal struggle that I’ll try to get out of my head and out onto “paper” and even doing that feels like it’s taking too much time away from the things that matter most.
Point blank: I kinda over blogging.
And taking pictures.
And sharing moments. My moments. OUR moments.
This feeling…it’s not something that’s new. I remember a year into this gig (I’m in my fourth year now) thinking, “Blogging is ….well….selfish.”
Thinking that your life is so important that someone else would think it’s worth reading about is, inherently, selfish.
Taking selfies. Self centered.
Taking pictures of your food. A little ridiculous.
Saying, “Hold up! Let me document this on Instagram,” and then completely missing the moment. That’s selfish.
Even when you go in with the right motives (which are?!?), most of what goes into writing a post, taking the pictures for a post and then promoting that post is somewhat self serving. You can KNOW this and still do it…but it won’t fulfill you. Not nearly as much as actually being IN those moments that you’re scrambling to share. Sometimes there’ll be this purely magical moment of my children playing together or my husband smiling in this certain way and the blogger-me wants to immediately break that special moment, grab my phone, snap a picture and then post it so everyone else can see how magical it was/is. Except that doing so takes me and that person OUT of the magic, interrupting something that might never take place again. And all so I can show other people.
Don’t get me wrong – my motive behind sharing is pure. I just want for others to see. Not to think that I’m magical….but that these moments are magical. That my GOD is wonderful enough to bless me with these moments. So in that sense, I don’t think the sharing is necessarily wrong or selfish. In fact, there is bound to be some “sharing of the gospel”-good in social media. Right?!
But still.
I find myself not blogging as much. Not posting to Instagram or Facebook as much. I find myself retreating to my house, this little corner, and not wanting to give any of the pieces away. Our pieces. Because doing so DOES take me out of the moment. It takes me away from being present.
I’m not sure what the end result will be or what will come. I just wanted to share a snippet of my heart and how I’m feeling these days. Maybe you can relate.
Relate.
That word. I love it so.
And again I’m reminded why I blog.
Full circle.
QUESTION: How can we still do this (social media, blogging) and also remain PRESENT??
splendid…lindsay
Lindsay, you can’t imagine how *happy* this blogpost made me. Pheeeew, I’m not the only one who has been feeling this way! And I’m just 5 months into blogging! I’ve thought a lot about it lately myself, how I’ve started to feel off-centered and having difficulties connecting with myself since I started the blog. I have so much on my heart, but I can’t really get it off my chest when I’m not connected with myself.
So I’m totally down with all the other bloggers commenting; I clearly don’t know, but I guess that by sharing these types of posts – we are actually being very very VERY present!
I find that sometimes I won’t post for a week because I’m so busy in my life. It’s okay because I can come back to my blog. I love staying in touch with everyone as well. So my answer is, to do it when you can and to take a step back when you don’t want to. But the great thing is, social media and blogging are ways for me to know what’s going on, to relate to people, and to make friends.
In a way, I feel the opposite. I like that documenting things on Social Media and my blog gets me to really take pictures and remember the moments. I was always bad at remembering to take pictures so it’s a positive thing for me.
Michelle and I go through those feelings from time to time. But we realize that we have to find balance of it all, there will be some days where we are active with our friends via social media outlets and other days we won’t be as active because we want to live life. be in the present moment. it can be hard because we love sharing and interacting with others. but also realize the importance of being fully present.
and BTW I am coming to Franklin for Thanksgiving to see Gary’s family. I will text or email you soon, and I got a new cell phone number so I will have to give you that! xoxo
I am so feeling this too. When your husband goes, c’mon no more pictures, you know you’ve overdone it. I never really thought about how I’m missing the moment by constantly looking for “content” or pictures rather than just enjoying the day and being with my friends and family. Big oops and yes, moment for reflection…
I know those moments when you want to take a picture but you don’t want to ruin the moment, because it is “my” moment. When I feel that I way I just leave the camera alone, because that moment is special to me and no one else needs to know about it. As much as I want to share, I think certain things should be private and shared with those who we are “really” surrounded by on a daily basis. Because in the end those people are the ones who will be there for us. Beautiful post and thoughts that I definitely struggle with too and not sure if there is an answer, but I think you are going about it the right way. Just doing what feels right! xoxo
I’m dealing with the same internal battle. I’m slowly transitioning my blog away from more personal things to more informational and helpful posts. I rarely ever take pictures anymore.. or post on FB or IG. I just wan to soak in my time with Baby D and not feel like I have to make my life blog worthy!
amen, to all of this. this resonated a lot with me and speaks to a lot of the reasoning behind why I quit my own blog last week. It’s time for me to just *live*!
Great, thought-provoking post. In my opinion blogging is a way to share your knowledge, experiences you think others can relate to, and as you said moments where God is at work, with the word. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sharing your expertise in an area or an experience that you think may help others. However, when the MOTIVE becomes self-serving, that’s when there’s an issue. When it begins to detract from your life, rather than add to it, again, an issue.
I go through phases, which I think is very normal. I try to refocus on why I blog and what I need to do to reach my personal objectives with that. Sometimes I think about going down to 2 days a week – or 1 – still not sure if/when that will happen. :)
Wow, hit the nail on the head here with that post. I haven’t blogged in days..weeks..or whatever. I was sick of feeling like I was constantly competing with other FANTASTIC bloggers (who I can never hold a candle too)…(and believe me I love competition but this is different) and I feel like I would much rather work on stuff with my kids or with my husband that worry about getting the next blog post up..because realistically not a lot of people read my blog so why was I stressing…and I basically slapped myself in the face and said step away from the blog girl and reprioritize. I also switched my focus to training others (online) to focusing on my town and seeing what I can do here which has been huge. I still love me some instagram though! Crazy stuff goes on at the farm here:)
This is a question I struggle with as well! It first comes down to priorities and if we are making blogging and all that comes with it a priority over our true priorities (being a wife, Mom, sister, friend, etc.). Additionally, there’s a lot of extra (possibly) unnecessary blogging work that we put on ourselves because we compare our blogs to others. It’s easy to get trapped into thinking we have to share about our families, have an hourly updated Twitter and Instagram account, and include at least 10 photos of our day in our posts. Definitely something I want to think about more!!
yup I fully agree and have moments of ok I’m done with all this :) it’s always why i started to focus the blog more on factual things and less on personal. I want to keep our moments as ours a lot of times, but I love sharing the running joy and connecting with others about it.
I get it! I think many of us do. These days I’m not blogging as much as I used to and only really want to blog when I have something more quality to say… Less recaps and “about me” posts and more good content. But even then I often sit down and feel blank when it comes to sharing! But relating – it does help you relate to others and others relate to you and I like that part. I’m still in the game, just on my own timetable. :)
I’ve gotten a lot better about being present in the moment by snapping a quick picture, and waiting to do anything with it until later. My husband and I went out to a romantic dinner on Friday and I didn’t feel like taking a picture of my food took away from the moment. I grabbed my phone, took 2 seconds to take a picture, and away my phone went to be Instagrammed later while he was grading papers. What’s best for everyone really varies, but that’s what works for me! :)
I haven’t touched my blog since September. While planning for my “31 Days” series, my husband looked at my calendar & asked, “so where does school fit into this?” Ouch. I had to sit down & really evaluate my priorities. The list I came up with was: “God, family, house, school… everything else”. Since we’ve been so busy, I haven’t completed a lesson in a couple weeks (I’m doing a home Bible program that will transfer to my dream university for credit), therefore I haven’t touched my blog. I keep it because I haven’t felt God telling me to let it go (in fact, I only started it because He told me to). I am so grateful to my husband for calling me out :) Being a wife (and hopefully soon a mama) is definitely where God has called me & I always want to give Him & my family my first & best! :)
This sounds like regrouping and prioritizing…..God is in the still voice…..Reading you and my favorite family has helped me move on….God is way BIG and we are not, trust. U are wired uniquely??? Time to grow some more—oh goody. (not an easy task) It’s the Mary and Martha in us that so comes out in holidays and memories. I pray joy for you and immediate yours!! And for all the fans in this today moment…….
I can totally relate. I find myself thinking about doing things solely for the purpose of taking photos or having something life changing to say – that’s not the point of life. That’s not the point of motherhood or marriage. And those are my favorite jobs. The jobs where I need to pour the most energy. I’ve already started thinking about what will come of my little piece of the internet when baby #2 comes. I love how connected my blog makes me feel, but I don’t want it to be at the cost of disconnecting from my real life
You know I have to comment on this one. These are the exact reasons I stepped away and felt this immense weight come off my life when I did. Then I recently felt the pull to give it a go again because I wanted to share, to encourage, to connect….all very good things that are done through blogging. But after a month I knew. It’s still not right for me. I moreso want to share, connect, encourage in LIFE. Not online in such a pressured way. So I don’t think I’m back to blogging (although still enjoying sharing on Instagram and Facebook because I’m connecting in that way with more real life connections I believe). That has honestly been enough. It has kept me connected with those relationships I’ve build through blogging and it’s been enough. Because it allows me to give more of myself to what I truly value. Just my thoughts. You have to listen to your heart. it knows the way. You know you can email or message (or call!) me anytime to chat it out. Love you, my friend.
That is the hard part and such a precarious balance.
I couldn’t agree more! I sat down to write my post last night and realized that I had only taken ONE picture all weekend. And you know what? That was enough for me! It’ll be interesting to see where blogging goes over the next couple of years, because I’ve read quite a few posts from bloggers who have expressed similar feelings. I still love the community, though! I think that’s what I don’t want to lose!
great post! I’ve been feeling like not so blogging lately either. It’s a struggle.
I’d love to know the answer to this question as I struggle with this A LOT too!! I’ll be looking over the comments for sure :)
great post. sorry i don’t have an answer to your question — i often struggle with the same thing! 1 mushy banana pic per weekend seems like an acceptable solution though :)