“Fakebooking.”

I think that’s what we’re calling it these days.  Presenting your life in such a way that would make others believe it to be PERFECT.  Your kids – perfect.  Your body – perfect.  Your handsome husband and your well-kept house and your pearly white teeth all lined up in your perfectly pouty mouth.  005

Look at these perfect shoes.  AND I totally helped someone in a third world country.  Be impressed.

Fakebooking.

I totally get it.  Totally.

Why on Earth would I want to show you my dirt?!  And why would I want to see your dirt?!?  Where’s the inspiration in that?

Except that I do.  I DO want to see your struggle – the RAW, the REAL.  Not because I want for you to be struggling….but because I don’t want to feel alone.  Life is hard and as the years pass by, it keeps getting harder.  Layer upon layer, the dirt builds…and my resolve to filter it out seems to dwindle.

Here’s some real life. Yesterday, upon hearing that worship team had been cancelled….

005

That’s MY real.

Now I didn’t get to indulge in the way I wanted to (I honestly couldn’t find a good movie), but by Thursday, in what seems like EVERY WEEK lately, I am DONE.

And maybe you are too.  And maybe you’re struggling.  And maybe you let your kids watch the same movie 3 times yesterday.  And maybe you ate something you shouldn’t have.  And maybe your leg hair is out-of-this-world long and maybe you stay in the shower until the water gets cold so you don’t have to help your husband fold the laundry.

And maybe the sum of all of your dirt equals one perfectly IMperfect life.

I think I wanna be your friend.

025

With that, I leave you to ponder one question:

Why do we feel the need to be perfect and to present that perfect to the world??

splendid…lindsay

(happy weekend, my imperfect friends!)

  1. Katie says:

    Love this! Authenticity brings people together, which is way more important than creating an illusion of perfection. I think that trying to hard to maintain an image is unhealthy.

  2. Maria @ The Good Life says:

    Love this! I have only a limited number of FB friends, and they know for sure my life is not perfect. I have to say that I have noticed the “mommie guilt trips” going on on FB, possibly because I am single and tend to notice that stuff. I personally love it when peeps are real in what they share.

  3. SuzanneU says:

    Nope. No perfect here :) I am going to be 40 this year and I just feel like I don’t have time to pretend to be someone I am not and I don’t have any energy to waste on draining, unauthentic friendships. About 6 months ago, I went through my Facebook friends list and got rid of the “Fakebookers”. Getting rid of those toxic relationships opened the floodgates of authentic friendships where we can show our messy crazy selves with no dang judgement. Now that is splendid ;)

  4. Jolene says:

    I want to hug you. You are SO right. WHY do we need to be perfect, or feel compelled to aim for perfection! I struggle with this allthedamtime and hate that I do. I am working on it, and have gotten a lot better at it, but sometimes, I catch myself and get so frustration. Life isn’t meant for perfection, it’s meant to be LIVED!

  5. Natalie @ Free Range Human says:

    This is just complete and total truth, Lindsay, and you know what? I want to be YOUR friend! There are so many blogs that I’ve stopped following, or, at the very least, I don’t really look forward to reading because everything seems just a little too good to be true. This life is hard and it’s a struggle sometimes, and knowing that we are not in it alone is the greatest gift.

  6. Kelly says:

    HaHa! Your text conversation with Travis was awesome! :) I think there is such shame in admitting you’re not perfect…which is ridiculous! I love the quote, “when you are trying to be perfect you are failing 100% of the time.” So true! Who needs that?!? As a society we are so judgmental that we make people feel like they are failures if they aren’t perfect. I love this post. Cheers to being imperfect!

  7. Shawnna says:

    I think most people (the ones that aren’t constantly moaning about how completely horrible their life is on FB) may not necessarily feel they are trying to “achieve perfection” or make people think they are perfect. I think it’s more of a feeling of failure for being real, since they don’t see much other “realness” so to speak. Or they only see the better realness “my kid did…, we went….,” etc… I have a few AWESOME REAL friends that I try to spend my time with because we always swap dirt. I tell them “you make me feel so much better about myself every time we are together” because honestly, they do! They are living and struggling the same as I am and we aren’t afraid to show it. I think I’m going to tell them next time “thanks for begin my support group” lol. Love the conversations that start with “I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this….” or “you totally have to hear what I did the other day….” :D

  8. Colleen @ The Lunchbox Diaries says:

    I love the struggle! I think that’s the best part about blogging, being able to share the struggle. Who wants to read about anyones “perfect” life? We all know “perfect” is a load of shit, so why not give us the REAL life-can-be-shitty shit? ;) I totally agree with you – I don’t want anyone to be struggling, but at the same time, it’s apart of life, and sharing it had the tendency to make us feel “normal” in a crazy world. That’s why I love your blog so much.

    And because you’re pretty.

  9. Audrey says:

    Hell yes! I hear you. I love creepin away on facebook but sometimes I wish it didn’t seem like everyone was out taking fabulous trips and getting promotions. Then again, I try not to post anything negative, so there you go.

  10. Danica @ It's Progression says:

    As bloggers, I think it’s especially easy for us to all fall into this trap. And I ask myself that same question all the time – why are we afraid to just be REAL about our brokenness? our faults? or our struggles? I obviously don’t have thee answer, but I think that we’re led by society to believe that we really can achieve perfection, and even that some people have it. All the more reason for me to stay focused on scripture I suppose. Thanks for keeping it real around here, friend.

  11. Purelytwins says:

    love this! we talk about this frequently over here in PT land ;) we are always looking at others lives and thinking wow they seem to have it all. where we feel like we struggle -from finding work life balance, from not eating too many sweets, from not being good at keeping the house clean as we would like etc. but we don’t always show this – we show other struggles with our health and fitness to help show others that we are not perfect – sure some days it might be a great day but reality day to day is full of obstacles. Gary always mentions to me that he has read about how facebook is one reason for people to be depressed, because others are always looking at what others are doing and wishing they had that life. Not good. We try to show that we are real girls, with real struggles :) hugs

  12. Lindsay says:

    I recently have noticed the same thing with many of my friends. I was out on a girls night and I commented on how glad I was that I was away from my kids and how I craved an overnight away from them with my husband in which we could sleep in the next morning, one friend said something along the lines of ‘I cherish every moment with my children, being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me’. I chose not to feel bad about my sentiments, but to realize that a truly authentic relationship with that person was not possible. I need to see the dirt as well, we all have it and its fakery to claim that life is perfect in all aspects. I’d rather have a few great friends that will be real with me and vice versa, than many that are fake. That being said, I do not air my dirty laundry on Facebook as I don’t feel it is the forum for such things. But I’m not trying to portray that me, my life or anything else is perfect.

    • Laura @ Mommy Run Fast says:

      I love this comment, Lindsay. You’re so right- we need friends who can be real and vulnerable right back (or at least have some of the same struggles). I agree on FB- I’m not in the habit of posting there very often so it generally tends to be photos here and there or fun announcements. But this is a great post!

    • Jocelyn says:

      So true Lindsay! Although sometimes when people says things like that I wonder if they are really trying to convince themselves or if it is “mommy guilt” working overtime. I adore my children, but I take extra long showers just for a few minutes of quiet. ;) And anyone who comes to my house is never allowed to look in my bedroom. It is the messiest room in the house!

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