don’t you dare touch that bed.

Dear mamas,

Don’t you dare touch that bed!  You know the one that they spent all morning pulling and tugging on, just so.  The one they can’t help but show you with squeals of excitement.

Yes, it’s mangy.

Yes, it’s lumpy.

Yes, it makes you want to rush over and fix it.


But don’t you dare.  Because it’s his or her PRIDE.

And as mamas, we want to foster that pride.  To grow it up with our words and actions.  Same goes for the stick figure family that you SO badly want to draw clothes on, the “swept” floor full of crumbs, the folded washcloth that looks more like, well, an unfolded washcloth and the outfit he puts on the includes a tie, yellow cotton shorts and black knee high socks.  (<-lastweek.)

Just leave it alone.  And give OHSOMUCH praise!  And hugs.  Give lots of those too.

It’s part of your mama job.

(then if you just hafta, run into your own room, close the door and remake YOUR bed with the precision of a 31 year old.  That sounds silly …. because it is.  Who flippin’ cares what the bed looks like?!?!?!  Your 4-year old is wise beyond his years.)

QUESTION:  Give me more examples of how we can foster up a sense of independence in our children.  In others.


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  1. love this post. my mom was excited when i made my bed, no matter HOW crappy it looked! And I use this same “don’t say anything” tactic with Mark when he actually makes the bed. (psst. it works on adults too!)

  2. We don’t even make the bed at our house. Would drive you NUTS.

    Also, just this week, I’ve learned that letting my girl climb on and jump on/off things really helps her learn about her physical boundaries and helps her independence. It’s fun to watch her branch out and learn what her body can do. Not fun when she bit through her lip today…but she braved it like a champ, and hopefully learned a lesson. :-)

  3. This is so good. I have people ask me all the time how I got my kids to be so helpful and my response is always I let them help but I don’t expect perfection. My little girl would fold the laundry and of course it was messy…ahh who cares she was doing it and enjoying time with me. Same with the beds and clothes. So glad the Lord showed me this and I put it into practice. Now my kids are willing and wanting to do things because they feel free to learn and they have grown in their abilities. Besides if you you do it all for them because you want it to be just so then you will wonder why they never help. Their future spouses will thank you as well. Haha.
    I say let them do these things and come along side you and you will have an amazing, confident little helper.

  4. Not gonna lie. My 3 year old asked if she could help me fold clothes over the weekend, and I gave her a job of matching socks instead. Not the first time either. And even though I’ve left for work by the time they get dressed in the morning, I have set their clothes out the night before. Because obviously I do a better job at dressing them than they can do, or even that our babysitter can do. Jeez. OCD much?! Something I need to work on!!

  5. I’m the same way with my husband. One morning I was fixing the bed after he made it and he asked what are you doing? I stopped and thought, what am I doing? I would hate it if he followed me around correcting my every move!

  6. haha this would never bother me, though I suppose this is one of those areas that I seem to be “missing” as an adult (I hate housework). My boys are so CRAZY and rambunctious, I’m quite happy if all of the bedding is actually ON the bed, nevermind how neat it looks, lol! But I totally love the point of your post: praise and love for the little ones!

  7. haha – Love this post. I have a feeling that will be hard for me once I have these little ladies and they’re old enough to help. I have a low tolerance for things looking “messy” in my house (okay, maybe it’s just because I live with a 26 year old man whose tolerance is way higher than mine. ;) ) and constantly redo things that people do for me. ::sigh:: I need to stop.

  8. I’ll be completely honest…their beds are ALWAYS a mess. They do so much in their room and on their beds, that I’d be in there cleaning all day. lol

    Their drawers of clothes are the same way. My youngest prides herself on picking her jammies…and they’re always mismatched. lol And the drawer is…atrocious.

    I’m much more OCD when it comes to the living room and kitchen. ;)

    1. This one K-I-L-L-S me! BUT, not only does it foster independence and pride, it’s spending quality time with my girls!