Oh man. Last Friday’s discussion post was a doozy. Let’s talk about it for a second, shall we?
If you missed it, I posted a quote and asked readers to chime in with their thoughts.
“There are few things that give a woman greater joy than seeing that another woman has gained a few pounds.”
You guys hacked away at that quote – you picked it apart, you were disgusted by it, some agreed wholeheartedly, some didn’t WANT to agree but said that unfortunately it was true. I read all of your comments and I understood your hearts. I hope you’ll understand mine.
I told you I kinda agreed with the quote. But it wasn’t until about 5 of you left the same comment that I understood what I REALLY thought about it.
Those five commenters agreed on one thing: The words are wrong in the quote. That the quote SHOULD have read:
“There are few things that make a woman feel more insecure than seeing that another woman has LOST a few pounds.”
File this under, “Things that SHOULDN’T be, but ARE.”
I don’t want to agree with that statement. I don’t want to be THAT girl. And 99% of the time, this statement doesn’t hold true – especially in my line of work. I’m PAID to help people LOSE WEIGHT. It’s my job to help others reach their goals. And I LOVE seeing transformation!
But….and it pains me to say this out loud….I’d be a big fat liar if I said that I’ve never felt insecure or threatened when someone close to me lost weight. WHY is that?!?! I don’t even know where those feelings come from. Yes, they’re fleeting and rare, but they still surface from time to time. I love women. I want the BEST for them. I really do (please hear my heart on this). And I believe with everything in me that we have to stick together! So where does this jealously come from??
Sometimes I’m jealous of my sister. #truth
Reader Kristin said,
“I think it’s that whole “crabs in a barrel” thing. No need to put a lid on it ’cause if one starts to climb out the others will pull it back down. If one woman starts to lose weight, get fit, go back to school, start a business, rejoin the workforce instead of staying home, leave the workforce to stay home… whatever the choice is that makes us look at our own choices, then we get scared. Because if she can do (blank) then maybe, just maybe, I’m not trying hard enough. Then if she fails, it proves me right, it says “I’m doing just fine, see if you try you will fail.””
Interesting food for thought.
Is this true? When another woman has something that we don’t, whether it be losing weight, falling in love, having kids when we can’t, etc., we feel like we don’t measure up. Like HER life choices somehow effect OUR choices.
If she’s succeeding, then only conclusion is that….WE AREN’T.
I don’t want to think like that. Ever. Not even a whisper of that rotten thought pattern! And I certainly don’t want for my Clara to grow up with this “stinking thinking” toward other women.
So how do we fix it?
I’ve got a few ideas, but they’ll have to wait for tomorrow.
QUESTION: What do YOU think about the REVISED quote?