devastated (#2)

First, can I just say that I wept over all of your amazing comments yesterday?  I did.  And I want to respond to each of them, but honestly, I don’t know what to say other than THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU and I FEEL VERY CARED FOR.  So I’ll just say that now to the group.  Pretend that you got an email that said all that as my response.  I’m very thankful for your prayers and support.


Yesterday, around 3pm, I had my second D & C.

There was no growth or heartbeat for the baby.

I haven’t had time to gather my thoughts on this yet or wrap my brain around the whys/whats/hows.  That may never happen.  I wouldn’t have posted today, but I know that many of you have been praying and worrying and I wanted to provide an update.

As always, thank you for your love and support. I promise you it doesn’t go unnoticed.


**P.S.  Please come back tomorrow and I’ll share something pretty amazing/sweet/awesome!

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  1. Lindsay, i just wanted to say how inspirational and real you are. I know you are going through such awful heartbreak right now and I am praying for you and your family. I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks earlier this year and had to deliver my baby boy. I know personally that there are no words that make things ok…time helps a little…just wanted to thank you for being so open and raw w/ your emotions and we are all thinking about you during this difficult time.

  2. I’m so sorry Lindsay. I have no idea why I land on your blog precisely on these moments, but here I landed to find this sad news. You are strong and you have a wonderful support system (especially the one who eats 1400-calorie peanut butter-with-ice-cream desserts every night). I know that doesn’t help right now (well, not sure on the peanut butter and ice cream part) but I know that people around you will hold you up when you need it most and dry your eyes. <3

  3. Wow, I emailed you when I had my first miscarriage in November, and you did as well. I just had a D&C two weeks ago again, and it was so devastating to hear that news again. Thinking and praying for you!

  4. Lindsay,
    Anslyn and I were discussing your post yesterday and she said that she wanted to pick some tulips to give to you! What a sweetheart:) We are thinking of you and your family and wishing you strength:)

  5. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss and heartbreak. I too have experienced a miscarriage & d&c. I know our stories and journeys are not the same….but please know that my heart breaks for you and that you are in my thoughts & prayers!!

  6. Oh Lindsay- I have so been there – my heart breaks for you – but do not give up my friend. Keep praying – God has a plan I promise (He promises). You are awesome – stay strong!

  7. LOTS of prayers and thoughts again! You are so loved and it’s great you have all this positive support and love to surround yourself with during this time <3

  8. So very sorry you are going through this. My heart just aches for you. Even 13 years after mine, there are always the why & what if questions that come up at the most random times. While it may not answer the “why,” i was encouraged with this nugget & I hope it brings some comfort: For whatever His good purposes are, He allowed you to carry a life, even if it was ever so briefly. There is something about knowing a perfectly sinless saint went from your womb directly to the throne of God without suffering in this world.

    Praying for you….xoxo

  9. So sorry for your loss, Lindsay!! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!! If there is anything you need, or that I can do for you, please let me know!! Love you!!!!

  10. I have tears and chills reading this. I don’t comment often on your blog, but your posts are always encouraging, heart warming, and motivational to me. You are so brave to openly share your life with those of us you have never even met. I can only imagine all the many lives you are touching. Sending prayers and hugs to you.

  11. I am so sorry for your loss Lindsay. I know this doesn’t help, but my mom went through two miscarriages as well and had 2 more children after them. I hope and pray for your faith to be stronger than ever during this incredibly difficult time. Love you!

  12. :( I’m sorry Lindsay. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. I hope that if you guys decide to stop trying that a little miracle might happen (it always seems to go that way!). Love and hugs coming your way (and coming your way for real very soon!).

  13. I am so sorry Lindsay. You are with me in my thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine what you are going through but I will say that God has a plan for you. Even when its hard to understand! Big hugs to you and your family!

  14. Oh Lindsay, my heart aches for you, I am so sorry for your loss. May the God of Peace bring comfort and healing. xoxo

  15. Oh Lindsay. Tears are falling as I write this to you. You’re wounds are too fresh to have to go through this again. As you know just 5 short weeks ago, I was going through the same thing…and I found HOPE STRENGTH and COMFORT in these words “weeping may endure for the night, but JOY comes in the morning.” The Lord knows best even when we can’t begin to understand.

    Someone told me recently that “it may feel like death, may smell like it and may hurt like it but its only the valley and a shadow of death – there IS another side. If you keep walking you’ll make it through.”

    Don’t give the Devil the opportunity to delight in this brokenness.

    Love and prayers.

  16. Oh. I was praying for you all weekend and hoping for good news at the ultrasound. Let me know if you need anything at all. I will literally drive to give you a hug and sit with you if you need that too. I love you dearly.

  17. Oh Lindsay :( My heart breaks for you. You have such a beautiful heart and spirit and are such a wonderful mom to your two little ones. I’m praying for strength for your family and hope that God comforts you with His Peace today. Lots of love.

  18. I am so sorry for your loss Lindsay. We will continue to keep your family in our prayers.

  19. I saw your hubby’s post on instagram…friend, I’m so sorry. This has happened to my sister 4 times now, and all I can say is I feel for you. I’ve seen it hit home with someone I love, and it’s heart-breaking – and all I want to do is hug. Hug and be there. I don’t need to tell you God has a plan – because you’re a woman of strong faith. I know you feel it and believe it.

    Take care of you and love on those two beautiful babies of yours.

    Praying, friend, and sending healing, strengthening thoughts your way.

  20. The trials that your family has faced through the devastation of losing two babies are unimaginable to me. All I can hope to offer is prayer and love, knowing that His plan is for your good through it all. All of us who follow your blog are blessed and inspired daily by your strength and honesty. God Bless you, Lindsay.