Libby.

Oh Libby.

libby pumpkin

You taunt me with your little cans of orange goodness all Autumn long.  Every blog I read, corner I turn, cookbook I browse.  You’re there.

Except you’re not.  I can never find you.  Why so mysterious?  (and who the heck is stealing all the pumpkin in Franklin – that’s what I want to know.  #thegreatpumpkindramaof2012)

Pumpkin is coming out of our ears, ya’ll.  I see it on Instagram and Facebook and everysingleblog I read.  It’s in bread, cookies, bars, smoothies, oatmeal, oatmeal smoothies.

Fall = Pumpkin.

We’ve been told WHAT to do with pumpkin, but I’ve yet to see any tips on how NOT to use it.  So I came up with some.

Bookmark this one.  It gets the Good Housekeeping stamp of approval.

What NOT to do with pumpkin…..

Don’t smear it on your T-Zone as a face mask.

I don’t think that’s going to help.  It’ll just make your face AND the pumpkin very, very angry.  (<-side note – I actually just searched and there is a recipe for a pumpkin face mask!  Of course, there is.)

woman-wearing-pumpkin-face-mask

Don’t wash your windows with it.

Rookie mistake.  Pumpkin on your windows?  Sounds almost as far fetched as using newspaper or vinegar.

Don’t use the cans as your Wi controllers.

Your television doesn’t communicate with cans.  LOL.

Your television communicates with cats.  It’s easy to confuse the two.

Don’t tie it around your ankles to be used as weights while swimming.

Been there, done that.

Pumpkin is for eating.  Not for playing or sculpting into something.

Unless by sculpting, you mean carving.  In which case, yes, I suppose that’s pretty normal.

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For you, Tina.

Don’t use pumpkin in place of Neosporin.

Licking your scabs will get you nowhere.  EATING them will land you at a separate lunch table at school.  Been there, done that.

I could keep going, but I feel like I’ve covered the bases here.  Pumpkin is fine and all…until somebody gets hurt.

This being said, I suppose you *COULD* use it to make this Paleo Pumpkin Cake.

Paleo Recipes

Yeah.  You could.

Actually should do that.

Paleo Cake with Xagave for Crossfit

Paleo Pumpkin Cake For One

Inspired by Heather’s Peanut Pumpkin Cake

Ingredients:

  • 1/4 cup almond meal
  • 1/4 cup canned pumpkin
  • 1 egg white
  • 1/4 tsp. baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 tsp. honey (optional)

Spray a small bowl with nonstick spray.  Combine all ingredients in bowl and mix thoroughly.  Microwave on high for 2 1/2 minutes.  Enjoy!

Paleo Dessert not Desert

Just promise me this – when you’re finished making it, eat the dang thing.

Don’t do anything but eat it.  It’s not for exfoliating, throwing, or flossing with.

QUESTION:  Of course, I want more tips on what NOT to do with pumpkin.  Also, if you’ve written a recipe that uses pumpkin, leave the link in the comments!

splendid…lindsay

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35 Comments

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  1. This was too funny! Something else NOT to do with pumpkin: rub it on your arm pits instead of deodorant. I know it smells fantastic, but give it a couple hours & you’ll be whistling a different tune! Not to mention the orange pit stains on your clothes!

    But I AM looking forward to trying your Pumpkin Cake! YUM!!

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  2. You just brought pumpkin blog posts to a whole ‘nother level! You.Are.Awesome. Something else not to do with pumpkin? brush your teeth with it instead of toothpaste ;) I don’t have a recipe, but I can tell you that I purchased the Thomas’ limited edition pumpkin spice english muffins and they are TO DIE FOR…especially with cinnamon-sugar butter.

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  6. Haha, this is hilarious!!! I know, why the heck is it so hard to find a can of pumpkin?! People must be buying it by the crate full and not leaving any for the rest of us :P I remember last year [or the year before] there was a pumpkin shortage and at one point our local TJ’s put up a sign saying they were out because people incessantly were asking for it!

    I made some pumpkin raisin muffins over the weekend :)

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  7. bahaha. i’m going to wash my windows, right now.

    seriously, who would do that? such a waste of perfectly good pumpkin. at least if you put it on your face there’s a good chance some will end up in your mouth.

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  9. Love the cake! And this post! AND your face! ;)

    Oh my gosh girl, you had me ROLLING with this! “Don’t tie it around your ankles to be used as weights while swimming.” <- Um, yeah, LOST IT!! Where do you come up with this stuff? Lol

    Yay for the CORRECT way of using pumpkin! Luckily for us, it's been available for months…I swear I would absolutely die if we had a repeat of last year. From November 2011-November 2012 I sunk into a deep pumpkin-less depression…dark days indeed!

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  13. I believe pumpkin will cure all! Maybe we can figure a way to use it as gasoline? Although with the shortage we’d all be walking. Which would be a very good thing unless you had a cross country trip. But that might be fun, too. So many uses! ;)

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  18. Ooh. I’m definitely going to have to give that recipe a shot!! It sounds so simple yet so fabulous!
    I’ve never had the “pleasure” of swimming with cans behind me, but we did have a very memorable rowing practice when we had them tied to the back of our boat … never again!!

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  24. hahaha. This is full of so much amazing awesomeness. I have to admit though, I’m not really a pumpkin fan although I did just buy a can of pumpkin at the grocery store to test and see if I really am not a fan or just think that I’m not a fan.

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  28. You are absolutely hilarious! I am glad I know not to use it on my windows now:) I seriously can never find Libby at my grocery store either… something is suspicious about that. Maybe I have a lot of bloggers in my area because it seems like EVERYONE in blog world has a whole cupboard dedicated to pumpkin!

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  29. I am dying.

    In a good way.

    I have like 485 recipes for pumpkin. This is one of my favorites because it’s called Pumpkin Goop. It’s like that dessert ‘dirt’ except it’s made with pumpkin. And gingersnaps. And it’s delicious.

    [It is also not vegan so I cannot re-post it on my blog until after the Vegan MoFo is over.]

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  30. Funny girl! However, I must say that the pumpkin face mask is a good thing. Made some soap with pumpkin and it was a winner for the face. Antioxidant power for the skin. Pumpkin is also great for dogs with tummy troubles.

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