I rarely (if ever) show you guys what I eat in a single day.
I’m not exactly sure why that is – all I can gather is that I’m a very boring eater. I eat a variation of the same 5 fives things every single day: eggs, cereal, protein powder, vegetables and roasted almonds.
The thing is: I actually LOVE reading about what other people eat – those blogs where they show you every meal, yeah, I like those. WHY?!? Why ARE food blogs so popular?
Oh yeah. I remember.
Food is good. Food is fun to look at. And food can either be a great tool that fuels our bodies or makes us feel crummy.
I choose to fuel.
But that hasn’t always been the case.
My Food History:
Childhood through Middle School –
I ate whatever the heck I wanted! (within reason, as I couldn’t exactly go buy my own groceries – my parents kept pretty healthy food in the house). I do remember eating entire sleeves of Oreos, dipped in milk. Croissantwiches at Burger King on the lucky mornings when Momma would take us out before school. Mugs of ice cream. Afterschool snacks of Ritz crackers with peanut butter slathered on top.
Early High School –
I started to become more aware of how many calories and fat grams were in things. I still had no clue about proper nutrition. I distinctly remember there being a cafeteria rule of “Only five little smokeys per lunch tray,” and disobeying this rule by hiding little smokeys under my macaroni and cheese. Rebel.
Late High School (Junior/Senior Years) –
Enter eating disorder. Every calorie counted. Sample day: No breakfast. 1/2 piece sugar free gum. 1 1/3 cups of HoneyComb cereal for lunch. Bowl of steamed vegetables and 1/2 baked potato for dinner. Sad, dark days.
Early College (Freshman/Sophomore Years) –
Anorexia turned to bulimia. I ate more calorie dense foods and purged them. Still – I probably ate 1,000 calories a day. Again, sad, dark days.
Late College (Junior/Senior Years) –
Healing and recovery begins! I start weightlifting with Travis (he actually turned me onto the whole idea of lifting – before him, I was doing only cardio. A LOT of cardio!). Since you can’t really build muscle without protein, I began to increase my overall calories, but also focused heavily on protein. Enter LOTS of protein powder and protein bars.
Early Marriage/Pre-Pregnancy –
I started reading more diet books (Abs Diet, Tosco Reno’s “The Eat-Clean Diet”) and a HUGE shift occurred in my brain. Food became FUEL. Food wasn’t just calories that I needed to count or something that made me feel better/worse emotionally. It was during this time that I started truly appreciating WHOLE FOODS. It was also when I adopted an 80/20 approach to eating.
Pregnancy/Breastfeeding –
I like to call this time, “Hungry, Hungry Hippo.” Every day/trimester was different – some days I was nauseous and couldn’t eat anything. Some days vegetables tasted good and I ate healthily. Then other days – well – I ate a whole lot of sugar and fried meat. It was a crap shoot. Even though I wanted to – I never weighed myself during my pregnancies! I also didn’t revert back to counting calories. A blessing – for me and I know for my growing babes.
NOW –
Food is fuel. Food is tasty. Whole foods make me feel better than crappy, processed foods. I still eat Chex Mix and brownies – but in moderation. I don’t count calories. I eat until I’m satisfied. If anything, I try NOT to focus on food – I can easily become obsessed. I’m trying more and more to eat what is put in front of me and be grateful for it.
A work in progress.
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To see more food porn, go to Jenn’s site for more WIAW posts!
splendid…lindsay
I’ve struggled with an eating disorder for 12 years. I recovered once and I am finally on the path to doing it again, for real. I don’t want to have children because I never want them to suffer like I have, but I am ready to love myself and LIVE again. I am so glad you overcame this and have shown us all hope. We have to get to a breaking point to realize that we only get one life – why should we spend it making things worse for ourselves. :)
Wow, I love reading your food evolution. And am so glad you are past the times of anorexia and bulimia. It is a scary thing. Fixation on calories and food. I have been there, on the fixation thing. And while I still (loosely) count calories, I’m at a peaceful place with food. And I couldn’t be happier about that! And I COMPLETELY AGREE – food as fuel :-) Still yummy but first and foremost, fuel :)
My relationship with food is really similar to yours. I never worried (or knew) about calories and health as a kid and I miss that so much. After my eating disorder in high school I no longer count calories, I don’t weigh myself, and I enjoy the fact that I love good and healthy food with couple treats here and then that I dont even consider treats. They are just a part of of my food and I eat what I want of them and then move on. I hope I can keep this attitude for the rest of my life!
Ha! We had the same childhood eating patterns – except my anorexia phase started in early-ish high school and ended (well, I started eating again) almost a year later. But it took probably until my junior or senior year of college to really get over that disordered thinking when it came to food!
I’m happy to see where you are now with food :)
Great progress overall. I also had some issues with food in high school, such as becoming a vegetarian but eating lots of junk foods and processed soy that made me feel like crap. Food is fuel, and we should only give our bodies proper fuel.
Such a great post! I remember when I used to not care a single bit about how many chemicals or dyes there were in my foods…crazy to think about!
I was a normal eater until senior year of high school. Then, I wanted to wear a 2-piece dress to prom, so I did a low calorie diet, mostly consisting of Special K with red berries cereal … so horrible! Then I went back to normal for a while … but I ate more than I should freshman year of college. So sophomore year, I went the opposite direction and ate way too little (in my person opinion, 1000-1200 calories is way too little). I would then binge on weekends, because my body was dying for fuel.
Junior and senior year, I still counted calories, but I finally realized that I could eat more like 1800-2000 calories and not gain weight. Ever since then, I feel like I’ve had a pretty good relationship with food. But I still have my moments of obsessing and being insecure. But I’m happy to say those moments are fewer and fewer!
Food is Fuel and it’s amazing how different I eat as well too! I take the time to think about what I’m going to eat now a days, because if isn’t going to help me power through work and my workouts, then what is the point of eating it and feeling like crap. Right? Great post darling and have a great night! xoxo
Loved reading about your food history, Lindsay… you’ve come such a long way :) I went through a similar journey… eating basically anything I wanted while I grew up, learning about calories, trying to clean up my diet, battling an eating disorder, and then recovering when I realized just how crappy life is when you’re not properly nourished. I now see food as life, because without it, there’s really nothing else.
See you at Fitbloggin. :)
Thanks for sharing your journey, Lindsay… I’m so glad you have come around to such a healthy relationship with food. Keep spreading the word! :)
early childhood-picky eater (all 4 of us kids) PB & jelly, cheese sandwich, pizza or burgers/hot dogs only. Even though my mom cooked for us, we would pick like birds at the roasts, veggies
Teens-could eat anything and back then, I didnt understand ‘overweight/overeating’ it was just something I never, ever thought of. We would put down pizza, bags of doritos, box of entermans cookies, liters of soda without a thought.
early 20’s-it all caught up to me I started to ‘fill in’, got a waist and realized I gained weight.
I started to exercise and be aware of what I ate-salads, less ‘junk’.
I met my now husband, and he loved to cook and that opened a new world to me. I didnt know I could cook, and I started experimenting and trying recipes.
I soon learned the importance of fresh, homemade food vs buying premade food/lunch/eating out.
I am now 90% whole foods and allow myself to eat what I want, when I crave it (not a big sweets person, but chips? forget.about.it)
Thanks for the great post!
T
My mom made dinner every night. We (all 4 kids)never were into eating much of what was put in front of us, unless it was take out pizza (on Fri nights) or spaghetti.
We grew up on canned veggies, potatos, meats (typical Irish cook, she was). We always had plenty of treats-chips, sugary cereal,cookies, ice cream. We were all tall and super skinny. We could eat whatever we wanted and never gain weight (bag of doritos, 2liter of pepsi, box of entermains cookies…)
I never *thought* of food, until my 20’s. I realized the foods I loved-chicken parm, cheeesy sauces..all the bad food that eventually had me realize I gained weight. I needed to rethink my diet and start exercising.
The more I exercised, the more I got into researching healthy foods. More salads, less fried food. When I met my husband (then boyfriend) he really enjoyed cooking. He taught me alot, although he was not into ‘healthy’ cooking.
This opened up my world to trying new, healthy recipes. No longer eating out and eating breakfast at home, bringing my lunch and snacks to work every.day!
Looking back to the foods I grew up on, I shudder. (chef boyardi raviolis?! Frozen pizzas)
I now eat 90% clean, and allow myself to eat treats in moderation (biggest weakness is pizza, but always have with veggies on top!)
Thank you so much for sharing this! Unfortunately, I’m still locked into the counting calories battle. It’s a hard habit to break.
you can overcome that! it just takes practice. try not counting for half a day..then a day..then..
Thanks for the advice! I’ll give that a try!
So interesting to see your food history (and compare it a bit to my own). I had completely forgotten about those sausage croissants from BK. Oh gosh, I don’t even want to know how many of those I had in HS. I think it’s great to look at your food history and how far you’ve come because I still have days where I feel like I’m not as healthy as I could be and need to make improvements, but looking at my history, I’ve come a long, long way!
Wow.Thank you for sharing this here. I am always so appreciative of your posts that go into your background with ED and how you got to where you are today. I am SO glad you are at the point where food is fuel, food is not the enemy and you can enjoy it in a balanced, happy way again. xo!
Your history sounds kind of like mine. Right now I am dealing with finding a balance between the right number of calories for my body + the added stress of finding what I can and can’t eat with allergies and a messed-up-stomach!
such a great twist on WIAW! My relationship with food? Currently a little bit off kilter because of being on coumadin…everything healthy has too much vitamin K it seems! But i’m doing my best, and looking forward to eating lots of veggies when i’m done…I have a whole new appreciation for them! :)
great post..definitely something a lot of people can relate to. I try to not count calories anymore and focus on the 80/20 lifestyle too..and side note ritz crackers and peanut butter is the best combination ever..i really miss ritz crackers!
I definitely have had a shaky food history but I’m at the same point as you now – food is fuel! I’m very much an “all things in moderation” eater and I don’t tell myself I can’t have something, as this will just make me overdo it later. It’s a constant struggle but one that really makes me appreciate my body and all that it can do.
So happy with all the positive progress you’ve made.. the fueling is such a good focus!
As for me,
Elementary school – Kraft mac ‘n’ cheese! I loved that stuff!
High school- Super picky. I didn’t count calories, but I just tried not to eat a lot.
College – Entire bags of Doritoes! The big ones! One semester I went to McDonald’s with a friend every day!! How did I not gain weight?
First job — Totally stressed out by teaching high schoolers. Started running. Started eating food that made running feel better.. Slow progress from there! :)
I’m so glad that you are able to love food again, and without the obsession. Food is my favorite. We have a rockin’ relationship…I’m grateful I can say that these days!
great post! It is nice to see how far you have come by taking a look back. In highschool/early college I ate whatever I wanted too… then realized I wasn’t playing as many sports as I was in college then when I was in high school and it caught up with me… enter counting calories and being addicted to losing weight. I would try and eat 1000 calories and working out twice a day. Now I am just aware of what I eat and try to keep it tasty but I definitely don’t worry about it as much!
I am most definitely where you were at when you were pregnant… I try my best to eat healthy, but sometimes I’m happy if I can get any calories in thanks to the awesome morning sickness I’ve been having on and off. And sometimes I just want a big bowl of ice cream… but let’s be honest, I want that even when I’m not pregnant from time to time!
I’ve gone through phases with food as well. A couple of years ago, food scared me. I had injured myself after training for a marathon, and I got this crazy idea that if I couldn’t run, then I shouldn’t eat. Of course, that was a disaster, and it’s been a long road to fixing the misconceptions in my head. I’ve learned a lot, and learned how to love what food can do for my body–and to appreciate it, not fear it. It is fuel! And whole foods–the food from this beautiful earth–are incredible, delicious and can even be quite healing.
You are such a rock star. I love you, and love your story. Your fitness journey is so inspiring. And I love your weight-lifting muscles!
I’ve been thinking of doing a similar post…of course I could title mine, “My Childhood: Brought to You by Nabisco & Kellogs” Haha! My mom DID cook our dinners, but she was a working mom and leaned heavily on pre-made frozen dinners, boxed or canned side dishes, and processed meat. Breakfast was usually sugary cereal (I could DOWN me a box of Lucky Charms) or on special occasions, I got strawberries n’ cream instant oatmeal. Lunch was usually a PB&J, chips, and a cookie kind of theme and of course I always felt like I won the freakin lottery if there was a lunchable inside my lunchbox! Hells yeah!
This continued on throughout high school too…although I traded my brown bag for a trip through the pizza and french fries line…every dang day! It’s a wonder I can even eat pizza to this day! Lol
When I got to college, it was cereal for breakfast, pizza rolls for lunch, and beer for dinner…I was no exception to the freshman fifteen THAT is for sure. Later on in my college years (when I decided it was time to get more serious about things) I traded in my beer for GINORMOUS Starbux coffees…EVERY day…sometimes twice a day…with a cinnamon cake doughnut…ohmigosh, how I LOVED those things! I’d probably go into a diabetic coma if I had one now!
It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I started getting into clean eating and understanding/appreciating what it does for my body. Nowadays it’s old fashioned oatmeal, Greek yogurt, or clean pancakes (of course!) for breakfast, and all the fresh fruits, veggies, and lean protein I can get my hands on for lunch and dinner! You’d never guess I grew up on SPAM! Lol
They served us pizza and fries in high school too! Together. Who approved that?!
You have definitely grown a lot with your relationship with food. The one you have now is where I am at, too. I don’t count calories, I eat when I’m hungry with splurges thrown in. Life’s too short to not have wine or yummy food :) I used to eat junk when I was younger, then moved onto the lean cuisines, yoplait lights, and some more junk. And now I just eat real food.
Wow. Lindsay — we seem to be incredibly alike in our food histories. In fact, minus the pregnancy section (I haven’t reached baby-making time just yet! ;) we’re nearly identitcal. (Right down to the order of ED progression and the fact that we eat very little variation now.)
While I’m comfortable with my eating and my body now, and also comfortable of thinking of food as fuel, I’m really trying to push myself to try new recipes, new foods, and to treat myself a little more often (I’ve made a list of 30 food challenges to try over the next year to push myself!).
Living with an ED isn’t easy. I feel like every picture kind of gets turned into food porn for a while, but eventually when that passes and you realize that you can (be naughty!) and enjoy the food too, food becomes more approachable, less taboo, and more enjoyable. Again, I love where I am with my eats now. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in my habits. :)
Oof. I do not have a good/healthy food history. Started early with only eating peanut butter and jelly. Then went though the “only hotdogs” stage. Onward to mostly “only chicken” which kept me going through early college. Then I started to get more well rounded but focused WAY too much on calories. Now I eat a ton of fruit which some people may say is odd but I do not count my calories. =)
What a great post! I’ve definitely gone through my own phases and struggles with food! That honeycomb cereal rings a bell with me! I also used to love the sugar free meringues and would meticulously count my calories! I am so happy and proud that I am out of those days for good!
early childhood–obese, my parents had healthy foods around but I overate.
age 12-20 anorexia–a lot of time in the hospital/treatment
ages 20-24 binge eater/normal eater/a lot of processed foods
age 24-30 food as fueland starting eating whole foods. Still have lingering anorexia tendencies, but I no longer count calories and have an 80/20 approach.
this was one of the best WIAW posts i’ve ever seen!! my first food phase (that i can remember) involved MASS quantities of cream cheese & jelly sandwiches – so much so that i can’t stand cream cheese anymore hahah
Very cool to read about your transformation! Obviously, I love where you are now. When I was a kid, I never thought about what I was putting into my mouth. I didn’t think about it until college but only now (out of college) am I truly learning about nutrients and how to properly fuel my body.
i like where you are now. And what a story you have to share. The journey of healing and TRUE health!
love the ice cream. best part!
I grew up on a junk/processed/fried food diet. My mother has always hated cooking and has no interest in health and nutrition. No surprise, I was a chubby child. I started dieting in middle school, and my weight went up and down for the following 15 years.
About six years ago, things finally clicked in my brain, and I switched to a mostly plant-based, whole foods diet. Since then I’ve lost about 35 lbs, my weight has been stable for years, and I’m healthier, fitter, and happier than ever.
My current relationship with food is better and healthier than ever. I eat to run and do all of the things I love :)
THANK YOU for being willing to share all this.
xo