The Wright family is absolutely LOVING this vacation time!! Saturday, we explored the Boulder Farmer’s Market (which was HUGE!) and I was even spotted by a reader (hi, Sarah!  I feel like a celebrity.  Still look like a haggard mom.)  Today, we’re going for the hike we had planned for Saturday, up in the Flat Irons. 

Today’s guest post comes from a VERY dear friend, who I actually had the pleasure of meeting yesterday!!  She’s every bit as sweet and down to earth in person, as she is on her amazing blog, Yes I Want Cake.  She also happens to be my BLEND co-host and bedmate!  Oh, and I agree with every word she’s written below. 

ENJOY!

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Long title. Shesh. I don’t blame you if you gave up halfway through and are now just looking at the pictures. I really don’t. That is one adorable baby face if I do say so myself.
Okay, let’s get started here. THANK YOU to Lindsay for having me guest post for her. We’ve become the best of friends while planning BLEND over the last few months. It’s hard to believe that her trip out here will be the FIRST time we meet. Between the 29 emails a day, the texts, and the occasional phone conversation – I feel like we’ve known each other forever. (<- me too, Katie!  I love you!)
Okay, I’ll make my point(s) now.

The Top 5 Reasons I Decided to Be a Stay at Home Mama

 


1. I don’t want to work that hard – waking up early, getting ready, getting baby ready, getting packed, schlepping the baby to daycare, working hard all day, back to daycare to pick up baby, coming home exhausted, being grumpy, trying to take care of my family/dinner/laundry/getting ready for the next day. Blah…I’m tired just typing all that out. I just want to play at the pool all day long.

2. I get a lot of satisfaction in taking care of the home and my family – I feel such a sense of accomplishment when the household is in order, errands are run, breakfast, lunch and dinner are made by me, the fridge is full and everyone loves me for taking care of them. What’s not to like?

3. It didn’t make financial sense – I was a teacher before I had my little gal, and it made zero sense for me to hand over more than half my paycheck to someone for taking care of my child 40+ hours a week while I took care of other people’s children 40+ hours a week.. Zero sense. Yes, we’ve had to strap down the budget, but…
4. I don’t want to miss a single moment of Adrienne’s life – not just the FIRST steps, or FIRST smile, but every single step and every single smile. I want to see it all. Plus, I want to be THE major influence in her life. I want to teach her what I know. I want to her to have my values and discipline her the way I think is best and love her the way I think is best. I want to be her full-time mama.

5. The Bible says I should – here and here

There you have it! Sure, there are days when I wish someone would come wipe the poop of Adrienne’s back for me, or do the dishes, or put ME down for a nap. But I have never thought twice about my decision and I’m loving life more than I ever thought possible.

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Katie is a stay at home mama with a sweet tooth and a healthy appetite. She also has a passion for running and all things Crossfit.  She blogs at Yes, I Want Cake, eats WAY too many vegetables and she’s one of my best friends!

  1. Miz says:

    Im sidestepping the debate to simply say I enjoyed this.
    I, too, stayed home till mine started kinder.
    well Im still home but now I work from here :)

  2. Olviya Ivanov says:

    Wow I almost didn’t want to leave a reply after all the commotion;) …almost!

    Awesome guest post Katie! My husband and I are going on 2 years this year and when the time is right I’m excited to be a stay at home mom;)

    Thanks for sharing your BLEND bestie with us LIndsay!

  3. Sarah (I Dream of Beets) says:

    I really hope to be able to be a stay at home mom at some point, and I really liked this post. When I was six, I authored a book (for myself) about rules of being a mom. In it are the following:

    a) when you go outside and it’s raining, put baby galoshes on the baby
    b) give the baby a birthday
    c) make sure the dad dose (my misspelling of “does”) not smoke
    d) do not go on a plane for three months after having a baby.

    I feel like I’m stay at home material. And Lindsay, you looked BEAUTIFUL not haggard!

  4. chelsey @ clean eating chelsey says:

    You are the absolute best. I seriously hope that I’ll be able to stay home someday. We’ve already talked about how I probably can’t stay home with the first one unless we are not able to have cheap childcare by family members. We’ll have to see how it goes. I would love nothing more than to stay home all day with babies!!!

  5. Brianna Williams says:

    Katie,
    I love your blog and I’m so happy to see you here at Lindsey’s List! I have really struggled with the issue of staying home once I have kids. My mom worked full time, I went to day-care, and I feel like I turned out well. I’m getting a PhD in Chemical Biology right now, and about 95% of me feels like why would I get a PhD to just stay home with my kids? But I agree with you in that I think the Bible really teaches us to dedicate our time and attention to raising our kids to know and love Christ.

    I’m not anywhere near having kids yet, but I am really scared to stay home. I’m already trying to figure out a way to work part-time where my husband can stay home in the mornings and I can get someone to watch the baby for 3-4 hours, 3 days a week. Who knows if it will work, but I think at the end of the day, my priority is obeying what God says. We are so distracted by pleasing people other than God (including ourselves) that it is hard for us to trust Him to take care of us when we choose to do something His way and not our own. I know this is a controversial issue, and I can feel the controversy in my own heart. But I know that no matter what, if I choose to do something God’s way, I will be ok. His love never fails, and I can trust Him for everything. My experiences so far have shown me that doing things God’s way just makes everything better. Whenever I try to do things my way, disaster ensues.

    Thanks so much for sharing!

  6. Katie says:

    Yes, thank you for that wonderful analogy, Kelly! That is precisely what I mean. FOR ME, it takes full time (not-working outside the home) to be a dedicated stay-at-home mother. FOR ME. Like I said above, KUDOS to you who can do it AND work a full-time job – I couldn’t do it.

  7. Megan @ FIterature says:

    Katie,

    Adorable post and adorable family. You have my dream job. And I understand what you meant about the bible verses – the bible speaks to everyone differently, just as God speaks to us differently. His words to you might equal working at home. His words to another might mean working outside the home.

    Blessings to you and yours – just came across you and your blog (thanks, Lindsay!) and am now adding you to the rotation! :-)

  8. Kelly @ No Sugar Sweet Life says:

    I’ve been pondering whether to reply or not…

    It’s hard NOT to take this the wrong way because of how you phrased it. By saying “the Bible says we SHOULD all be SAHMs” rather than something softer like, “I believe the Bible encourages us to stay home with our children,” you are implying (and saying) that those of us who choose not to be stay-at-home-moms or don’t feel we can, are being disobedient to God’s word… ie. sinning. I personally don’t believe that to be true, even given the Scriptures you shared.

    • Kelly @ No Sugar Sweet Life says:

      That said, I’m the one with a whole blog post TODAY about how parenting is super hard! My life probably would be simpler and feel more “manageable” if I didn’t work outside the home… and there’s a lot to be said for that too. Maybe some day I’ll be able to afford that luxury.

    • Katie says:

      Yes, you are correct, I could have phrased more gently. However, you notice I DID NOT say “The bible says we should all stay at home” – rather “The bible says I should. I.”

  9. Jill says:

    Wonderful reasons to stay home! I feel the same way. Although I still work a day a week and every other weekend as a pharmacist – couldn’t do it with just my hubby’s salary.. I have a one and two year old and knew I’d never regret stepping back from work to raise them!

  10. Jen@FoodFamilyFitness says:

    I Love this post and really wish I could be at blend to meet both of you! I have been a full time stay at home mama for 4 years now and while there are days I would give just about anything to head back to my old office…I couldn’t do it! I love everything you mentioned, it’s the simple things that make me happy now: getting everyone up and ready for the day, taking care of the house, errands, meals and making everyone happy! My job is the house and I love it!!!

  11. Danica @ It's Progression says:

    I love this post…Any time in my life when I’ve been asked “what I want to be/do…” I always want to answer “a stay-at-home mom.” It seems like so many people don’t accept that or that our society is so for feminism that it’s considered wrong to want that! if that makes sense….I LOVE that you pointed out those two verses, too : )

  12. Haley says:

    Thanks, Lindsay (which happens to be my precious dad’s name & my oldest daughter’s middle name!), for guest post-hosting (word?) Katie. To Katie, A-to-the-men Sister!

  13. Heather (Heather's Dish) says:

    i’m still in the process of figuring out what’s going to happen after maternity leave, but i definitely have all of the exact same reasons for wanting to stay home with Wes! it just makes sense :)

    Lindsay, i’m so glad y’all are having fun out here! which flatiron are you hiking? (or all 3?!) i can’t wait to meet everyone this weekend :)

  14. Heather @ Better With Veggies says:

    I love it — I think it’s fantastic when mom’s can stay home with their kids, it’s a great gift to give your little ones. If we had kids, I would hope to do the same. I’ve tried to convince my hubby that dogs count, but it hasn’t worked so far!;)

  15. Ashley F. says:

    Glad you and your fam are having a blast, Lindsay! Katie, thank you for putting yourself out there with this post. I don’t personally stay at home (I could, but choose not to), but reading your reasons gave me something to think about.

  16. Callie @ The Wannabe Athlete says:

    Really interesting post – and I wish I had the option to stay home. But I don’t. I understand your reasons – except where you say the Bible says you should. I read both those passages and didn’t get that from it. In fact, Proverbs 31 says that she wakes up and gets ready for work – I like I do. It doesn’t say she plays at the pool all day long. I’m a homemaker AND I work 40-50 hours a week. Sorry to be negative, but that just rubbed me the wrong way. If you can enlighten me and explain the whole “the Bible says I should” part a little better, I’m willing to listen!

    • lindsaymwright says:

      I’ll let Katie answer for herself, but I can assure you that we don’t play by the pool all day. We’ve made the sacrifices to stay at home with our children, so that WE are in witness to their learning, their smiles, their discipline. I personally chose to stay at home because I felt conviction with the “keeper of the home” verse in Titus. Please also notice that Katie said the top 5 reasons “I” chose…no judgement here for any mom who chooses to work!!! I’m in no place!

    • Katie says:

      Yes, no judgement at all! And the pool thing was totally a joke. I do get to to to the pool sometimes, but it’s a lot of work keeping a toddler from jumping in headfirst. :-) To me, the Proverbs 31 verse about waking up and getting ready for work means taking care of my family. That’s work to me. Breakfast, cleaning, laundry, errands, I bring my husband lunch, take care of the finances – basically “work” for me is being a keeper of the house and my family. I want to dedicate my full attention to that task. Props to you for being able to do it all – but that just didn’t seem like an option for me! Thanks for your comment.

      • Irene says:

        Hi Katie and Lindsay,

        I’ll start by saying I think it is fantastic you and your families are happy with your set up as stay at home moms. I also realize it is a ton of work. Honestly, I am not a mother but I have three younger siblings and I VIVIDLY remember my mother working herself to the bone every.single.day taking are of the 5 of us. I don’t know how she did it – we were pretty bad compared to a lot of kids I see. So I have the utmost respect for both you ladies.
        With that said, it bothers me that you would just state that “the bible says” women should stay at home full time once they have children. It bothers me even more that your response to someone objecting to that statement is to say you aren’t passing judgement. Um, yes, you are. If you honestly believe the Bible requires women to stay home full time, than you believe women who chose to work are not acting in accordance to scripture in a major part of their life. If that’s what you think, that’s what you think and you’re entitled to your opinion. I would simply respect you more if you handled it by explaining WHY you feel that way (which is NOT crystal clear to me even after growing up reading the bible for 28 years) than dismissing someone’s concerns with a flip “no judgement” statement. If I told you the bible said you SHOULD work once you have kids, don’t you think you’d feel judged? I don’t feel that way AT ALL and I certainly may end up staying home if I am lucky enough to have kids, I just think this is a really heated issue and it would be nice if we could have a real conversation about it rather than making these blanket statements towards each other.

        • Katie says:

          Thanks for your comment, Irene. While I DO believe in the Bible and what it says, it is NOT my job to pass judgement. Thank goodness – that would leave a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. So, I can truly say “no judgement” – and mean it!

          As for the verses I interpret them to mean I should stay at home…Titus 2 says “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” – I believe that verse directs me to be a keeper of the home. I know that I could not devote myself to being a “keeper of the home” if I worked full time. Maybe some people can pull-it-off, but I know that I would feel too divided. Especially in a profession like teaching where my job was to basically raise other people’s children – I couldn’t devote sufficient time/energy to raising my own. Additionally, the picture of a woman that Proverbs 31 paints is ONE BUSY WIFE. Up before dawn, preparing the day for her family, buying and selling, making clothes, keeping an eye on everyone in her household, quick to assist anyone in need. If I want to be that available to my family and my community, I don’t think I could squeeze in 40 hours a week on top of that!

          I hope that answers your question. By no means am I passing judgement, I truly mean that. These are the reasons I believe it was right for ME to stay home.

          • Kelly @ No Sugar Sweet Life says:

            It *sounds like* what you’re saying is that in order to be obedient to the Bible, you felt you needed to stay home to be able to do what it says.

            An analogy comes to mind.

            The Bible says not go get drunk.
            For one person that may mean that he/she doesn’t have one sip of alcohol…Because that’s they only way that they can insure to completely obey scripture. Otherwise they might be tempted to go overboard. But that doesn’t mean that they should tell everyone “The Bible says you can’t have one sip of alcohol.” No, it doesn’t. It says you should not get drunk.

            This scenario above is similar.

            Are you saying that it is a sin to work outside the home? (obviously ok if that’s your opinion). Or are you saying that in order to obey scripture you felt you personally needed to stay home?

          • Irene says:

            Thank you for your reply Katie. I was trying to say that I think this issue is a bit simpler than Stay home-end of story! but I can see from your thoughtful answer that you agree. I am really happy for you that you seem completely at peace with your decision. It seems to me that many women (both those who stay home and those who work) struggle a little bit with feeling they made the right decisions, and I feel a lot of compassion for us all as we try to do our best! That’s what I was trying to say in my initial post, so I hope I didn’t come off as too heated.

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