why you want kids

February 1, 2012 in Blog, Family, Kids, Love, Marriage by lindsaymwright

I get asked this question more times than I thought could ever be possible.

“Why should I have kids?”

Why Should I Have Kids

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Mostly from 20-somethings, married for 2 or 3 years, wondering what their next step in life will be.  My friend, Janetha, thinks that she might never have kids.  Monica is struggling with the “when” part, hoping to get a few more “bucket list items” checked off her list before taking the plunge.  And my sister, Katy, has gone from wanting kids, to wanting a boat and vacations instead of kids, to wanting kids NOW, to wanting kids but maybe in 5 years.

There IS a lot to think about!

  • “How do you know you’re ready?”
  • “How will life change?”
  • “How do I know if it’s my “calling”?”
  • “What if I end up regretting this hugely permanent decision?”

All great questions, for which there is no really great answer.


For me, though, the answer was simple.  I’ve known since I was a little girl that I wanted to be a mom.  There was never any question about that fact.  My mom raised Katy and I with hugs and “I love you’s”, never making us feel like an inconvenience.  Having been raised in that atmosphere, why WOULD I have questioned being a mom.  She made it look effortless.  At least while we were looking.

Baby Sleeping

What a huge gift to give to your children. The feeling of being WANTED!

I realize that many readers might not be as set on becoming a mother as I was.  I want to offer some encouragement and real-life truths about this amazingly complex decision.  A way of nudging you into pregnancy jeans, if you will.  (*cough* – Katy – *cough*)

1)  Having children changes everything.

Travis and I were married for almost three years before we got pregnant.  Every single facet of our lives changed the moment we saw those two blue lines.  Most for the better.  Some not.  Children complicate travel, independence, your finances, and your sex life…that’s just naming a few.

But they also bring out THE BEST in people.  I know that I’m a better person and a better wife now that I’m a mom.  Motherhood tests your patience, your willpower, your sanity.  Your children put you through a type of bootcamp that could never be paralleled.  You learn who you are, what you want and how you react to situations.


You’re forced to become selfless.

And we ALL need to become more selfless.

2)  You’ll never have enough money.

Even if we weren’t talking about children, this statement could be valid.  Money has a way of controlling us and it makes us want MORE.  More stuff, more things, more crap that you’ll just end up selling at your next yard sale.


You’ll never have enough money.  And actually, having children really isn’t even all that expensive, especially if you nurse and cloth diaper (I do the former).  I know plenty of GREAT parents who have little finances, but they’re making due and making their children appreciate the little things in life.

You don’t need more money.  You just need to get creative.

3)  Your husband is cute.  Procreate.


Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure we’re actually supposed to be having sex and making babies.  It’s a God-given thrill of life!!

You married your husband because he was at least somewhat attractive to you.  Don’t you want to see his face on a little person?

Swaddle Me

Angelina lips.  George Costanza hairline.

Ok..so that wasn’t all that convincing.  Let’s go back to the “sex is fun” part.  Get to it!!

4)  You’ll turn into one of “those” people.

Yep, you will.  You’ll become one of those people who only knows how to talk about their child’s latest mediocre crayon drawing or how their bowel movements have become more regular.  You’ll never hang out with people that don’t have children.  They just won’t understand you anymore.

Essentially, it becomes apparent that you’re a parent….<-get it.  get it!!


But you know what?! ….change who “those people” are.  Be a cool mom or dad.  Make talking about your children the NORM.  Be someone who others want to be around.

Be cool.  Like me.


5)  It’s hard.

Pregnancy is hard.  Childbirth is almost unbearable.  And then you’re left with this tiny human who you’re in charge of?!?!  I can barely pick out an outfit for myself, let alone be held responsible for how my child will function in society?!!?

Poop is schmeared.  8 hours of sleep is HILARIOUS!!  Vacations become a distant memory – you’re WAY too poor.  And when children vomit, they’ll do it just about ANYWHERE else but into the toilet.

It’s flippin’ HARD!  But I can guarantee one thing – after they’ve thrown up on your new rug, they’ll come to you for a hug and comfort.  And maybe a wet, vomitty kiss.

Which leads me to my last point….

6)  It’s SO worth it.

Child Photography

The bottom line:  I could have written 1,098 reasons for why kids are awesome and still not cover everything.  Children are a BLESSING.  A gift.  As parents and parents-to-be, we need to adopt this mindset and change society for the better.  Uplifting the next generation – teaching, loving, spreading God’s love!

Now go procreate!!

QUESTIONS:  Tell me everything!  Do you have children?  If so, what made you know you were ready?  If not, why don’t you?  Just curious.