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It’s Sunday night.  The curtain has been called.  My green Oz dress has been hung up, only to be brought out of retirement for the next time the theater does a show that requires poofy, green tulle.  FOUR Pond’s towelettes later and my eyes are STILL covered in a weekend’s worth of stage makeup!

Now that the show is over and I can sit with my thoughts (and on my BUTT for that matter), I thought I’d share some observations I’ve made over the past few months of doing Oz. 

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Playing a meanie is downright FUN!

I’ll admit – when I was cast as Ms. Gulch, I was really only excited about the FLYING part!  But then, as we started rehearsing, I realized something – acting like a b*tch is A LOT of fun.  Jillian Michaels is on to something here.

By channeling Almira, I was able to release a lot of pent up anger.  If I had a bad day parenting or “wifing”, I could scream and cackle it out of me up on stage.  After performing, I always felt 100% better!

Travis liked to joke and say to the people who congratulated me, “Well, you know, she hasn’t broken character for 3 weeks now”.  Then, I liked to ride over him with my Gulch bike.

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Shit happens.

Hours upon hours of rehearsal can’t protect you from accidents happening.  A couple of snafus happened over the course of the four shows:

– The Wizard’s mic started falling off during the last scene where he’s doing the “Here’s your heart, brain, courage” part.  He somehow caught it slipping down and had to hold one hand awkwardly atop his head while trying to act nonchalant.  YOU try awarding the Tinman a heart that goes around his neck with only one hand!

– Dorothy’s dress RIPPED down the back during a wardrobe change and she had to go on with tons of safety pins holding it together.  Emo teens everywhere would save up a month’s worth wages at Sbarro for the chance to buy that safety pin dress!

– The worst snafu?  Before I take flight as Ms. Gulch in the tornado, I’m seen pedaling my bicycle.  The bike is on a platform and it’s anchored in such a way that kept it stationery while I pedaled.  Rehearsal after rehearsal, my flying went flawlessly – I was supposed to be lifted off the bike, taken straight up in the air and then across the length of the stage.  Just like this:

Saturday night, my darn skirt got caught in the bike spokes and when I was lifted, the bike came with me!  Not cool.  It was terrifying.  I’m SO thankful that I’m fit and strong, because I was able to hold the bike while flying across the stage (and I remembered to cackle!)  The audience had no clue – but I knew and I was shaken up for the rest of the show.

Oh, well…shit happens.  You just have to pick yourself back up and move on.  Or ride off stage, awkwardly attached to a bike, in my case.

You can turn ANYTHING into a sex joke.

If I never have to hear, “Want to see my “Winkie”?” or “You can follow MY yellow brick road!” one more time, I’ll consider it a blessing.

Good will ALWAYS overcome evil.

It’s why we enjoy fairy tales.  Good trumps evil.  The Wicked Witch melts.  The ring of power is destroyed.  Gaston falls from the tower.  Osama Bin Laden gets shot by snipers.  Etcetera, etcetera.

Is this sentiment highly romanticized?  Yes, definitely.  BUT, if my faith has taught me anything, it’s that God will always overcome any evil plans that the Devil might have for me.  He wants to give us the desires of our hearts.  We are chosen.  He fights for us.  He is our bridegroom and we are his bride.  Very romantic and very comforting!

And lastly…There really is, NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

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Now that the show is over, the Wright family can return to some sense of normalcy.  The kids can go to bed at a decent hour every night.  I have high hopes of cooking meals that aren’t laced with preservatives.  And Travis will return to courting his long lost love, Final Fantasy 8.

That is….until I audition for the NEXT SHOW, Aladdin come Wednesday night!

I know. I know.  I know!!  I’m a masochist.  Someone talk me out of it.

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Previous “Lessons Learned”:

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QUESTION:  Have you done any theater/drama performances before??  For me, the first theater production was last year’s Beauty and the Beast – I was 8 months pregnant and it was pretty miserable! 

P.S.  If you haven’t filmed your “Meet Your Trainer” for Tuesday Trainer yet, there is STILL time!!  Do it!  Do it!!  Remember, anyone can participate!  It’s not an elitist club…yet.

splendid…lindsay

  1. Alex says:

    Why do I feel like those sex joke winkie comments are directed towards me?
    And being a villain is the best. My favorite, and I was quite jealous that you got that part instead of me. :) But you were so much fun and did such a great job! I’m so glad we got to hang out so much during Oz. :)

  2. Shoshana says:

    Lindsay, I am a first time commenter, and I just wanted to say that you never fail to make me laugh. I myself have done numerous dinner theater shows, including The Wizard of Oz for a grand total of 75 performances. Surprisingly, I never got sick of being a tornado, munchkin, crow, poppy, and Ozian. Now if only Dorothy had gotten sick so that I, her understudy, could have gone on…*sigh*

  3. Kristin @ STUFT Mama says:

    LIndsay- Okay that video of you flying through the sky is awesome. I’m even more impressed that you did it while having to hold on to your bike that one time. Too bad that wasn’t on video. JK.
    Yes, NO PLACE LIKE HOME! Love that!
    I used to act in plays at church when I was young. I loved it (although I wasn’t very good).
    I tried to get my Tuesday Traienr video inn. After the camera died on my 3 times in a row I gave up. I’m so sad. I had a funny thing planned with Kitty. :(
    Hope you’re recovering!
    Love that you have another audition Wednesday. he he!

  4. Kristina @ spabettie says:

    one: I love you!
    two: I watched that video two more times just now.
    three: I got chills and teary eyed at the “no place like home”. you are awesome.
    four: holy munchkins, you held onto the bike? you ARE a rockstar!
    five: Travis’ joke about not breaking character – I love it! too cute ;)

    I’ve never done anything like this… were you in drama / a thespian in school? or have any background? you just go in and audition? I bet it’s a TON of fun – I think I’d like it. ;)

  5. lindsay says:

    do we get to see a clip of the play? oh i wanna see it! There is always something thats bound to go wrong, but like they say……….THE SHOW MUST GO ON! hehe.

  6. Camila says:

    First of all, amazing show. You are sooooo good on stage. I was quite proud of you.
    Second of all, the bike thing scared everyone who knew you weren’t supposed to be carrying it, but no one more than your MIL of course.
    Thirdly, Henry needs to answer tomorrow’s questions.
    Fourthly, YAY!!!! You are doing Aladin!!!
    Fifthly, did you consider just leaving your skirt and flying with out? :)

  7. Christin says:

    Looks like it was so much fun! I was in quite a few plays when I was little for church…usually Christmas or Easter related…I love to sing and dance and perform! Later in high school I was a ballerina, so I was in ballets (Nutcracker, Coppelia, etc) $hit happens no matter what show you do…it’s all part of the fun! hehe I remember several occasions when I’ve gotten sewn into my costumes minutes before heading onto stage…and one time I tripped on someone’s skirt in my pointe shoes, and fell on stage (so embarrassing!)And then more recently hip hop performances where someone will forget like, an entire 8 count and just make it up as they go along…lol! But for the most part, it’s such an addicting form of torture, isn’t it? All of that hard work is so worth it! (okay no I have to go back to dance classes or something…total withdrawal…) :)

  8. Heather @ Better With Veggies says:

    That looks like so much fun, I wish I could act AT ALL! My sister has that gene (she’s the theater teacher/department head at a performing arts school), it’s not my thing. :) I can dance on-stage with no problems, but ask me to talk and I get a bit tongue tied. Which is wierd, because public speaking is not a problem. I guess it’s trying to be someone else onstage that is the problem.

    I can’t believe you’re already going to audition for a new show – AWESOME! :)

  9. Katie says:

    You’re doing another play?! Crazy lady. Is it like childbirth? You forget how hard it is…so you want to do it again? Anyway – I’m SO proud of you for carrying that dang bike after it got caught on your skirt. You rock.

  10. Stephanie says:

    I’ve never been in a play, but my sister was quite involved in musical theatre. I was always envious watching her on stage! But I was always too chicken to audition. The costumes and sets for your play were beautiful! Hmmm…any chance you can play a bitch in Aladdin? ;)

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