See, I told you you’d be back.  Everyone loves a teaser!!

Even more than that, we all LOVE to read about other people’s dirt.  How do you think trashy magazines stay in business!?!  (Nail salons are my guess.)

I don’t think my life is quite as scandalous as say, well, name any other person really.  My grandmother might have a more “tabloid worthy” life than me.   But, if I know anything about people, it’s that we’re all just a little crazy (my grandmother included).  You might be good at hiding your crazy from other people, but it’s there…hiding behind your obsessively clean house and perfectly dressed children, just waiting to come out.  Some of us have hidden our craziness for so long, that we OURSELVES start to believe that we’re normal.

I am no such person.  I am an open book.  Much to my mother’s chagrin, I often speak first, think second.  She would say I’m just a tad too open with my sex life.  That’s just the way I am – my filter is slightly ajar.  And fortunately for you, today I’m showing you the side of me that you’d PAY to read about in a tabloid.  Or just wait and read it for free at your next pedicure.

A list of my neuroses (incomplete, I’m sure):

  • I vacuum my house A LOT.

064

Like every other day a lot. Even I admit, that is a bit much. It’s not even that my house is dirty all the time either. It’s that I CRAVE the feeling that comes from knowing that everything is clean. In my defense, our house is so small that it only takes 3 minutes!  I can vacuum the entire house and never have to switch plugs – that’s how teeny it is!  So, vacuuming isn’t time consuming.  But still – every other day!  Curazzyy!!  It gets to be a bit much for Travis.  I often wonder how he could love a psycho clean freak…I tried to ask him, but couldn’t hear his response over the loud buzz of the vacuum.

  • Figure 8’s
Crazy Eights…and I do mean, crazy.

I had to videotape this because it’s just so hard to explain.  And rationalize.

I’m not sure when this behavior started, but I can remember the first time I noticed it.  A couple of years ago, I was on a long run, legs pumping to Kanye West, when I noticed myself drawing Circle 8’s with my index finger on my thumb.  Now, every single time I run, I’ll notice myself doing it.  It’s not something that I’m consciously aware of doing, it just sort of happens.  I’ll be holding Travis’ hand during church or in the car and start doing it to HIS hand.  To make me aware that I’m slowly rubbing a hole in his dermis, he’ll start “figure eighting” on me.  So annoying.

I remember my greatgrandma Liz twiddling her thumbs while she sat and told me stories.  Like literally rubbing her thumbs together.   I think it helped her concentrate.  I loved that woman, so let’s just call my behavior an homage to her, k?

  • Weird pillow behavior

Eeh...Travis can sleep on the couch.

Eeh..Travis can sleep on the couch.

This one is probably going to sound the weirdest…and that’s saying a lot.  Ok – here goes.  Put your fingers up to your nostrils.  You’ll notice that more air comes out of one side than the other.  Now follow my craziness.  The nostril with the most air, that nostril needs something obstructing its air flow just a bit.  You know, to even it out with the “weaker” side.  Oh Geez, I’m cuckoo.  Stick with me.  So when lying down at night, if the “strong” nostril is say, on your left, you would lie on your left side and use the pillow to help obstruct half of the air flow.

It’s ok to be frightened off.  We had a good couple of months and I’ll only wish you the best.  Just don’t judge me tonight when you can’t fall asleep because your “strong” nostril is ceiling-side up.

  • Even numbers

Last one.  I searched and searched for a related cartoon…turns out, not a lot of comics can relate to this level of weirdness, or even creatively IMAGINE it.  Sometimes, when I eat, I like to chew in even numbers.  Like if I’m given M&M’s or candy, I ALWAYS take 4 or 6, never 5 or 7.  I’ll chew one on the right side, one on the left, until they’re gone.  When I was younger, I used to count my steps and liked to end on an even number.  Luckily, I outgrew that.  And look at the normal, figure-eighting, strong nostril breathing, vacuum crazed-adult that I’ve become.

Phew…feels good to get all that off my chest.  Hopefully, this “sharing experience” won’t turn you off too much. Actually, I hope it does just the opposite.  I hope it shows you that there are other’s out in the world just as cuckoo as YOU.

***On a more serious note:  It is IMPORTANT to realize that there are people who suffer greatly from mental illness and it is NEVER OK to poke fun at them!***

But, it’s perfectly fine to poke fun at YOURSELF.

Normal even. 

New Brain

Natalie Dee

Sharing Time!!  Tell me one of your weird habits.  I promise not to laugh.  To your face.

splendid…lindsay

  1. Katie @ peacebeme says:

    Because of my nerve pain, I have a VERY elaborate pillow/sleeping scheme going on. It involves 4 pillows and we only have 5 so my fiance is left with one. ;) I also love vacuuming. It’s my favorite chore. It just makes everything look so clean right away!

    I have to drink hot chocolate before bed EVERY night or I can’t sleep.

  2. Katie says:

    Ahh! I’m an even numbers freak too!! I thought I was the only one…I’m so glad!!

    Also, I vacuum almost every other day, too. But that’s because we have a dog that sheds like crazy and a baby who can’t always pick her face up out of the carpet.

  3. Kristin @ eat healthy. be happy. live well. says:

    Thanks for sharing! Definitely didn’t scare me off…yet ;)

    I’m trying to think if I have any neuroses like these….my honey could probably tell you some…I guess one weird thing is that I will freak out if you flip a light switch on and off over and over again. For some reason I have it in my head that it will catch on fire….no clue where I got that from!

    One weird thing I do is I always put my left leg, foot, and/or arm into clothing first. I always have to put my left sock and shoe on first, no matter what. I sort of think something bad will happen if I don’t…okay, now I’m sounding a bit crazy :)

    Thanks for letting all the crazy hang out today!!

  4. Missy says:

    Ha, I make my hubby (if I’m with him) round up to an even number. By himself, he just randomly stops it at $20.13 or so. Drives me nuts! (but I guess I drive him nuts too)

  5. holly says:

    i love you AND your neuroses! mostly because they are hilarious. and if you wouldn’t mind, i would happily share one of my neuroses with you: i <3 alphabetical order. if anything can be organized in alphabetical order, it is. i love seeing those a, b, c's one right after another!

  6. Missy says:

    Ha ha! I’m neurotic about my floor as well. I have to sweep or vacuum my tile floors daily. I do my carpet less because I guess I dont see the obvious dirt/stuff on hard floor.
    I am funny about even numbers too. When I pump gas I
    HAVE to stop (or try) on a 0 amount (30 or 40). If I go over then I must stop on a 10.
    I have to have my shoelaces the same length on both shoes (the parts that hang out)
    When walking, I have to go to the corners of the cracks or the painted marks on the road.
    So yeah, count me a board member of the Neurotic Club!

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